tsuki

@Nahm Thank you. @deci belle I think that we understand each other. Attention is born out of inattentive inattention. One needs to forget that one forgot. Trying to fully clarify this self-referential phenomenon is an endless source of creativity. We would write these posts endlessly. This is why I prefer to wrap my words onto themselves to express this. Please treat my other two posts as a sorry attempt to summarize my understanding. I cannot help to feel that this endless, selfless observation is just a karmic creation in the intellectual dimension. That we are doing things for no reason and try to understand them. Or that we have ideas for no reason and try to implement them. Over and over and over...

Playing is pointless, but there is fun. Using is problematic, but there are solutions. Solving problems is the greatest fun. Pointless fun is the greatest problem. Reality is perfect.

When you play to win, there is no reward. When playing is rewarding, there is no you to win. No rewards means no losses. No you means no suffering. You are being a playful being.

@Shakazulu Why don't you pressure yourself into being your own companion that would fill the emptiness of travel? Or even better: to stop altogether and love what is right now? Wouldn't it be the greatest result? Love yourself.

@Shakazulu Only if you love to chase your own tail. You always progress towards death. Is this place worse than death? Why do you seek to escape it?

Is there a single human being that become self-actualized from spirituality? Enlightenment is a spiritual concept. We know this because we know both paths thanks to @Leo Gura. @Faceless Exactly.

@electroBeam Nothing. Spirituality and self-actualization are the same drive from two different perspectives. To choose self-actualization is to try to conquer the world. To choose spirituality is to try to conquer yourself. The point is to see how conquering the world makes you conquer yourself and vice versa. To see this is to realize that you are the world and to become enlightened. Method of arriving at this realization is through chasing your own tail. You chase your needs and wants and try to justify them via rational mind. You suffer because you feel empty to the point of asking 'who even am I?'. You see no end to this and you cannot justify this journey through any means you have. You feel exhausted, broken and beaten down. And then, there's death. You realize that all of this is the mechanism that makes you forget that you need to breathe and blink.

Who is to say that you are growing or recessing? Is it you or is it me? What is the difference?

Everything is always 'here' in the same sense that everything is always 'now'. There is no 'there', just as there is no 'then' when you read this text. This text is always 'here' and 'now'.

You're welcome. I may share the other two at some point. For now, I can't see them clearly and formulations seem shallow. It may take some time, as they formed one big blob.

@deci belle I think that I'm starting to see the link between our understanding of reality. This selflessness is a very subtle word you use. It is linked to my understanding of this topic by inattention. Inattention is the always-present ability to discard one's incarnate answers to life. By incarnate answers I do not mean the wording of the result of asking 'Who am I?' as in 'I am tsuki'. Asking the question 'Who am I?' is an incarnate answer itself by stating that 'I am the-thing-that-does-not-know-what-it-is'. Any other answer to it is only possible by inattentive abandonment of the puzzlement of asking. I understand selflessness as direct experience, seeing (in your sense), of the interplay of attention and inattention in everyday, ordinary events. We are as much what we forget, as we are what we remember. Can you see what I mean? I'm having difficulty seeing how one does not go along with creation when he simply 'keeps going'. Is stealing potential related to the ability to avert attention from the possibility of inattention? By not ceasing movement, not allowing 'breaks', when the opportunity presents itself? Not going along with creation of cessation in iTommy's case? How does that relate to stealing, potential, and energy? I can see how effort ceases when one is selfless. Is stealing potential by not going with creation the source of energy to fuel effortlessness? Do you effortlessly steal potential to gain energy that ceases effort? I can see that. Great that we meet in this understanding. This is exciting! Meditation in my understanding is a repeated exposure to selflessness. When one applies effort to empty one's mind, one misses the fact that the reason for application of effort appeared effortlessly. I like refer to this as: self-awareness is not self-aware. There are many different forms of this self-reference that express this. Can you expand the notion of golden flower of enlightning more? Is this a poetic description of this magic? Inconceivability? An attempt to mass-produce enlightened beings is a very dangerous endeavor. It is much more advisable to work on our own enlightenment and see the world flower by itself. Are you also aware of the balance between the 'inner' and the 'outer'? That the inner is in fact the outer? That instead of changing the world, one can change himself and watch the world change on its own? That learning this balance is fundamental? Does this have any significance in your spiritual practice? The part about "I'm not the person" resonated with me deeply. It may be the cause of my repeated exposure to self-referential nature of thought that revealed inattention and its interplay to create selflessness. You may underplay the importance of suffering in all of this, but it's understandable. Thank you for your response. I have learned a lot.

Read more carefully. To understand is to introduce. Absence of winning and losing is a win in itself.

? Wisdom

@Shakazulu Damn, I really enjoy when people enjoy my words

One man's reward is another man's curse. One man's failure is another man's lesson. Which one of them do you embody?

@deci belleThank you. Your praise seems important to me. Why do you like what I suggested? I'm working through it and it may be helpful to me (just so that I don't sound like a creep after the first sentence ).

All I can say is this: remember to forget to forget. You are what you forget as much as what you remember. This 'deconstruction method' is simply attention to self-reference in thought. Thought is blind to itself. I think that I write, but really I write that I think that I write. That was also blind to itself. When you get this - there will be a shift.

@Maycol When it comes to books, I can recommend Heidegger's Being and Time and Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. They are dense, but worth it for people with analytical minds that get trapped into solving riddles. You can also look into Derrida and Stoicism in general.

Repeated exposure to reality shattering on me and attentive watching it rebuild itself. I had four major events in life that shred my image of what I even am. You can read about two of them here: I simply always wanted to get to the bottom of things. To know the truth. Then I understood that reality is illusion. Now I'm trying to understand how and produce these posts. If you want to hear more I'll keep answering questions. It's very helpful to me as well to formulate them clearly.

Try not letting this 'brain fog'/'empty head' stop you from talking and doing your things. Try noticing it and carrying on like nothing happened. This is how meditative state announces itself out of meditation sessions. This is effortless meditation. It does not interrupt you from doing stuff. You interrupt yourself when you notice it. Notice it, but keep going so it can 'stick'.

Nothing. Addiction and passion are the same phenomenon from two different perspectives. Let's call this phenomenon drive. When you have a drive to become an entrepreneur, you may strive to meet Elon Musk. Passion is when you want to spend a few hours now and then with him and learn things about making money. Addiction is when you hang around him to feel special and successful. These two are equivalent when you see that you want to learn entrepreneurship to feel special and successful. Passion is a positive descriptor of drive. Addiction is a negative descriptor of drive. You can substitute LSD for Elon Musk, sage for entrepreneur and reality for making money and you will get the same conclusion. @Solace As for the OP: life is a game itself. Your real friends are NPCs. You are the one that make them alive and vibrant, just as you brought videogame characters to life. It is your recognition of them and passion/addiction you embody that create the world. You cannot know a person any better than you can know a videogame character. Everything you know about them is your interpretation. Reality is real because you are addicted/passionate about it. Calling 'real world' reality and 'videogames' illusion is a choice you make to uphold the idea of progress. Just wait and see how their roles reverse at some point. Spending time with videogames and learning about friendship from them is a form of self-medication that lets you protect your childish innocence from abusive/manipulative family members. You couldn't take it, so you took off. That was wise. Do not hate on your past self.

Meditate more. It will come to you over time by itself. You will start noticing how your state outside meditation sessions is similar to meditation. You haven't meditated enough to see it.

@TylerJ Let me walk you through what 'all love' is. Imagine that you fight with your girlfriend. That shit really gets down so much that you throw plates and shit. You learn that she cheated on you and took a 2 week trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend and lied that she went to take care of her mother that has cancer. You really loved her mother and she was always a wonderful person and you were depressed for two weeks and now it turns out that not only she cheated on you, but her lie made you suffer while she was happily whoring herself out! And yeah, she took all the money off your car fund that you saved up for your dream car because she told you that her mother needs it for surgery and she spent it all on the trip! You told yourself: uh oh look how enlightened I am, I don't need this car and my poor peasant unelightened girlfriend needs her mother so of course I will give her money! I am a good enlightened person! You were so stupid and so short-sighted! And guess what? That boyfriend she took off with is your best friend that was supposed to be your best man on the wedding you were planning next year. You love this guy and knew him since childhood and it turns out that he's also fake? What the fuck?! This is what love is. Not the love to your girlfriend, but the love of reality. If you really imagined that, lived that, you saw the face of love. To love reality is to forget that you forgot. You forgot that she is not your girlfriend, but a projection of what you imagined about her. A mental construct. You think that it's impossible to imagine this vividly? To forget that it is just your imagination? Guess what - you forgot that you forgot that this is a text made of letters that are made of pixels of your device. You forgot that you have eyes that need to blink and that you breathe. You do not see love because you love to not see.

Thank you. Like I said: there is no such thing as an 'idea' when you talk. When you talk, you are (the) talking. Ideas arise when one talks about talking, writes about writing and thinks about thinking.