tsuki

While both are non-egoic. I like to imagine that after non-dual realization of no self, there will be another, higher-order ego that will eventually emerge. From that point of view, we would look like cavemen .

No, you just got 'high functioning' ass-backwards and that's what is keeping you egoic.

By becoming ignorant to fear. Ignorance is the other face of wisdom. The path out of the mind is simple - just pick something and stick to it despite all the egoic emotions that arise. "The fool that is consistent in his folly will have become wise" You can find inspiration on this particular path from Lao Tzu's story.

@SFRL Live off it minimally for as long as I can and make self-transcendence my full-time pursuit. Upon death: pass it along in a sensible way.

@How to be wise Well, the question is: do you believe the theory you just created yourself? If you don't, then what's the point of sharing it? There is a vast difference between unconscious and conscious absence of the mind. There is a difference between a Zen master and a newborn baby. There is a difference between transcendence of the mind and not having any in the first place.

@MM1988 Because you won't die. The pure observer that sees 'through' a person (and its suffering) lacks any qualities, it is literally nothing. When you see 'other people', you may assume that they have 'another instance' of this pure observer that has no qualities, but this is just an assumption. The pure witness has no qualities and therefore it cannot be numbered. It is singular and absolute. You are literally 'other people'. Even if this person you call 'you' will die peacefully, you will be reborn and experience this suffering again. The only way out is to dissolve the difference between suffering and peace and pass it along to other beings.

@Leo Gura Does this influence your stance towards Peterson in any way?

@SgtPepper It's not about information on psylocybin, but on Peterson's stance towards it. Related video that I found:

@Serotoninluv I think that you listened too much to your image of who Peterson is, and too little to what he actually said in the video. What about the rest of the talk in which he seemed genuinely impressed by the results of the study? I'm not a Peterson fanboy, but I'm definitely a fan of not bashing him for something he's not guilty of.

Think of it this way: enlightenment is the dissolution of the difference between happiness and suffering.

@Genghis Khan Welcome home

Here's something that I realized today: The body is the child. The mind is the adult. Your job as a mind is to take care of the body by observing its desperate fits of pain, anger and sadness. The body doesn't know any better. It just screams out of helplessness. Like a newborn. Be gentle with it. Don't try to talk it out of its fits. It won't listen. It can't. As you are talking to it, you are the only one that understands the talking and all what you are doing is distracting yourself away from the screams of your baby. Just being near it, watching it, is enough to calm it down. Acknowledge its suffering. Understand the why. When it's calm - make sure to take care of whatever upset it.

@F A B You can always find a woman that is more attractive than your partner, regardless of how attractive your partner is. The physical attraction that you feel towards a woman is a free pass that lets you skip the flaws of her character for a while. All people, upon close inspection, are fundamentally flawed and generally - a big trouble to be around. To me, the only reason to commit to a relationship is because our flaws play each other in a way that requires both of us to change. The more you change, the more valuable the relationship becomes because of the shared history of influence. The more you fight in a way that makes both of you crack your shells - the more united you become. This is how I understand relationship with another human.

Youtube's algorithm is nothing compared to how we filter our own reality by turning the blind eye to things that are uncomfortable to us. I wouldn't be too surprised if it simply caught up on our ability to deceive ourselves. That's what machine learning is all about, after all - picking up patterns of large scale datasets.

@How to be wise @Leo Gura The lines are drawn with a stick in the sand. @Leo Gura I guess it's the difference in identification, but I don't think that it invalidates what I'm trying to convey here. In a parental relationship, the child has every bit as much to say as the adult, even if the adult denies it and the child is unaware of it. It does not matter which is the child and which is the adult. What matters is: are they both aware that they always work in communion? They are in harmony, even if they fight to establish the 'correct' course of action. Even if one scolds the other and the other is silently disobedient in sneaky ways. It is strange how peaceful a (sometimes brutal) fight can be when done in a mindful way. @How to be wise Your identification as an enlightened teacher distracts you from the meaning that I'm trying to convey. I can see in what sense you are right and why it contradicts what I'm writing. Can you see my point of view in a way that does not make me a child/student/ignorant in your eyes? @cirkussmile ? @DrJava I wouldn't say that one is any 'smarter' than the other. They talk in different, but complementary languages. The body influences thoughts, and thoughts influence the body. It is not really that important whether you call it a mindbody, or a bodymind. It's more like bmoidnyd.

@How to be wise That's a pretty story. It's irrelevant to my post though. I'm describing the relationship between non-discursive feelings and thoughts. The fact that I called the center of the former 'body' and the center of the latter 'mind' is anecdotal. If you prefer to call 'body' a dead hunk of senseless meat - it's your choice. I prefer not to. @Preetom Sure. That's a lot of words to convey silence.

It's not sad. Would you rather have a broken heart? Or is your heart broken because it's not broken? "Now" is the only future and the only past. Now is forever. Sometimes, we have to clean the closet of clothes that we've outgrown. Even if it hurts. You have my best wishes ❤.

@Ampresus I subscribe to this channel, but I watch it very rarely. His videos are describing what are the characteristics of a charismatic person and his tips are to 'be like that'. I think that it is backwards. A truly charismatic person does not have a list of things to do and to not do. They simply are and people follow them. I think that it is much better to think of why you are the way you are and transcend it. At some point, people will start to acknowledge your inner work by following you.

@now is forever Definitely.

What do you mean? The scary thing is that it describes various things that I've been doing for years, unknowingly. The description is very no-bullshit, straight to the point, and with it, I can crank my things up to eleven. It scares me where it could lead me. I will sit with this terror and get acquainted with it. Then, we'll see.

@PsiloPutty Thank you for your kind words. What, specifically, do you find profound about the stories I shared?

I would like to share my story, which consists of three awakening experiences so far. I do not intend to keep a journal and I would like to invite discussion and ask for directions. Due to nature of my self-inquiry I am not committed to any spiritual tradition and know basics of very few ones, but I'm open to suggestions to what pursue next. This thread will contain three posts, as I would like to go in depth on each one and they may not be digestible in a one go. Currently, I'm intuitively feeling that a fourth awakening is coming and I think that remembering details of my previous ones will help it come along. For now, let's talk about my first awakening that happened 3 years ago, and some background. I was always smart. First, as a kid that did as little as possible to not get in trouble with parents and play videogames for the rest of the time. Then, as a teenager that would get hooked up on science and computing, pursuing career in mechanical engineering. I was raised in a reasonably wealthy family and by the time I was finishing my master's degree I had everything most people have by the time they are in their mid-40. A house, a car, a cat, and a reasonably well-paid job thanks to my family. And, of course - feeling absolutely crushed by life's miseries, barely holding it all together. I was having something of a year-off in which I was supposed to write my thesis, but instead of doing that I decided to check out philosophy. I was always admiring authorities in science, and philosophy was like its big daddy so of course I would get interested in that. Being a youtube junkie that I still am, I found The School of life channel and ran a crash course in art and philosophy. What got me really fascinated was existential philosophy, especially Martin Heidegger. He was advertised as the most obscure philosopher that talks about the most mundane things, and boy, how did I love riddles. My first awakening had two stages. First stage was while reading about existentialism as a whole on Stanford's encyclopedia of philosophy, and the second one was while reading Martin Heidegger's "Being and Time". Facts that I injected were not important in my awakening by themselves, but the process of opening myself to possibility. Transcending the point of view I had at the time. What is important is that I did not really try to grasp the logic this philosophy provides, but to accept it as it was given to me, and try to view "the real world" through its lens. A logical/rational person like me could do that only because I trusted that those philosophers were wiser than me and I was trying to connect with feelings I knew I had inside. I was trying to prove to myself that I am a human being, and not a robot which I saw as a root cause of unhappiness in my life. In the first stage, while reading broadly about existentialism, it induced severe feelings of loneliness, sadness and compassion towards other human beings. I remember looking at people focused on their business and feeling sorry for them for being "lost" in their "roles". I suddenly started cherishing simple things, like sunshine, or the wind. Breathing. At the same time, I started to doubt my material paradigm as I believed that I cannot simply be summed up as a story. I started seriously thinking about death, and having walks to the cemetery every few days to contemplate it. When I saw that something was going on with this existentialism thing, I finally decided to wrestle with Heidegger and thought to myself: "Damn, I read tensor calculus for fun, how hard can this whole "Being and Time" be?". Well, the book gave me a good fight and then knocked my Ego out for two weeks. The mainstream advice for anyone interested in the book is that you don't try to read it unless you have a Ph.D. in Philosophy. I was too determined to care at that point, so I read it in two languages to account for mistranslations, while watching Hubert Dreyfus' lectures on youtube. It took me several months to get through one third of the book, when my first awakening happened. It was a gradual process in which I saw how I construct reality. The book highlights the method of self-inquiry called Phenomenology that is used to map the inner territory of a being called Dasein. The being is defined as one that asks the question "What is being?", which is what the book tries to answer. I have been doing that out of pure curiosity for months, each day, every free minute until it hit me: "None of this is real, everything is me". It was a very nauseating feeling, very strange and profoundly beautiful. In everything I saw, I saw how I was in it. Everything was a reflection of myself - a book wouldn't be a book without me. I saw how "I" was constructed out of a "book", and the "book" was constructed out of "I". How "I" was dispersed in everything I saw, felt, smelled and touched. It was absolutely fascinating. Until, of course I understood that I can take ownership of the construction and I started to deconstruct what "I" didn't like. Funnily enough it was things I was the most proud of, like how I was attached to my house, but felt miserable for not earning it. How I loved my car, but felt fear of losing it. To disassociate from my body that I thought was too fat and didn't like. It felt so freeing that I cried. I got so carried away with this deconstruction that at one point I realized that once I knew how to do it, there was no coming back. I could not forget how to and I was in total control of everything. I could go all the way down into nothingness. And then it hit me: "A human is literally nothing and it is terrifying". "We run away from it and shove things into this bottomless pit without realizing it cannot be filled." "This is the misery of the human condition.". After days of fear, nausea, crying, laughter, ecstasy and love - the remnants of "I" decided that we cannot live this way. That this is too unsustainable and we have to close the pit. So it happened. In the midst of things, I reached out to my parents for help. First, they tried to fix me physically, when that showed not to be the problem - they sent me to therapy. Very pragmatic people, but hey - good call. I stayed with the therapist till this day and I'm very glad. What happened next is that I lost 16 kg over the next few years, changed my job to a better one, met my soon-to-be wife and graduated school at the top of my class. Ego at its best, trying to keep the pit closed. Overall: great ride - 10/10, would ride again So, what technically happened? What I learned a few years later is that I probably did a very intense Neti-Neti inquiry while being totally clueless. Ended up, probably, in the dark night of the soul and let the Ego take the wheel again to leave it. It grew back strong, but I knew that I could open the pit someday, which I did in the second awakening. I will report on it soon.

About chaos magic. Oh, my dearest friend, we are all equally insane. Some of us simply want to be exactly as insane as everybody else and some of us want to be insane in their own, authentic, way.