tsuki

Does this sentence come from a place of love, or does it come from the place of hate? If it is the latter, then it is the predator biting itself. I think that it does a great job keeping itself stuck in the corner.

I recently came to understand the saying that we can only love others as much as we can love ourselves. The only normal people are those that we're yet to get close to - and there is no person closer to me than... I. I know my ever single little fuck-up, every single thought and emotion. I know my all evils and can I really love that? Well, guess what - the more you get closer to another person, the more you learn about them as well. The more open they become and talk about their inner lives, the more darkness you have to stomach. Is love a projection? In a sense - yes. It is a projection of our relationship to our inner darkness. Without the ability to stay alone, there can be no bond. However, once you let yourself be alone - is there a reason to look for love? Perhaps, this is why it is said that love is not a matter of reason.

@now is forever Your predator's job is to keep dangers at bay. If, however, you call this predator dangerous - it will fight itself so that it will not harm others. To be harmless towards others, you have to be ruthless towards yourself. Cynicism was once a form of strength, but today it is nothing else but whining. I'd much rather listen to whining of others than to whine about it.

“Only time can heal what reason cannot.” ― Seneca

@now is forever Trinity is a three-legged stool. Remove a leg and it becomes a useless teapot.

@How to be wise What is so frightening about death to you? Even the materialist paradigm says that you have experienced death already. There was no you before you were born. Were you suffering back then?

@now is forever ?

I tend to think of it in terms of artistry of life. We are who we are because of who we are. We all get some materials to work with, come to a certain family, in a certain country with a certain body and a certain temperament. We may think that some things are useful and some are a burden, but ultimately - they are the raw materials for your artistry. Every artist needs raw materials, even if, at the moment, your art is digging a hole on a construction site.

I thought that we were talking about victim mentality and being a predator.

@now is forever If you're hurt, hurting others retrospecively won't help you. It is better to cry your eyes out in this case. However, if you feel hurt when somebody hurts you - this is the time to stand up for yourself. Retaliation is never helpful.

Oh, that's true for me as well. Predators don't plan. They just do, in the moment.

lol Typical victim mentality.

Ugh, so many posts, so little time to respond . My wife's therapist told her once: every masochist finds his/her own sadist .

You're welcome. The question that bugs me is: aren't we, adults, imposing our wishes onto children by bringing them into existence? (assuming that we have control). Having children to satisfy my urge to be a father is not about the unborn child at all. Or is it? I could say that this urge is the child speaking through me and me having it is simply letting go. hmm... This is why I tend to steer towards thinking about family in terms of taking care of everyday life. To me, a partner is a person that helps me with challenges of everyday life, like taking care of the household and taking care of each other. This is the foundation that cannot be questioned and must be met. Everything else is a (welcome!) bonus. If she's interested in what I do with my days (and she is) - great. But I can't expect her to do that. She has her own stuff. My problem is that I see solutions to her problems and she won't apply them, even if she agrees that it's the right thing to do. I guess my problem is not letting her solve her problems her own way . What I've learned over the past three years is that relationships are as much about being close together, as they are about being distant.

Hmm, humility is not humiliation. Humiliation is closer to shame - a social phenomenon in relation to other people. Not meeting expectations. Ostracization. Humility is more in lines of surrender to what is. Closer to letting go. Not trying to do things my way, but let myself be something done by 'things' outside of me. It is a form of strength though - a willing, unyielding submissiveness to existence. Humbleness is close to humility. To me, humbleness is also about other people, how we present ourselves to them. Humility is an inner state. To me, it is the most private thing there is. Would you like to talk about your dream with me? I'm considering having children myself in the future, but I still haven't decided yet. Why is it so important to you?

Nah-ah. I am not denying existence, or importance of emotions. Sadness is not wrong. Something happened and we know that it is wrong because we are sad. Crying is not wrong either. Have you noticed that we cry when something is sad, but we also cry because something is beautiful? When something catches us by the heart? We are touched by things that we find important and tears are how this importance is released. There is no difference between tears of sadness and tears of beauty. When you cry, you let go of a part of yourself that you are desperately trying to keep. Now, I have never lost a loved one, but I have lost people in my life. I think that the most important way in which grief is useful is to serve as a reminder that anything that we hold dear can be taken away from us. It's purpose, however, is not to frighten us into possessively guarding everything that we value, but to teach us humility and appreciation of the everyday life.

@now is forever Oh, and did you notice that when we interact with people we look them in the eye as if a person was located there? It's just a black dot in the middle of a squishy white ball. Not only that, but there is not even a dot there. It's a transparent hole into an eyeball and it's black because it's dark inside. How crazy are we?!

By the way, do you know that your skull has no facial expression? It's just your flesh moving around your bones.

@now is forever Good. Cry your eyes out. The world will be ready for you when you feel like returning to it.

Have you tried crying? Edit: Ugh, I'm so dumb sometimes that it amazes me.

What I was getting at is that there is no managing anything. Managing things from within may work until suffering becomes unbearable. Then, shit's gonna blow. Managing things on the outside makes you reactive, uncentered. It's only a matter of time until you stretch yourself too thin and drop a few plates. Try doing neither and you will have to do both. We can't avoid suffering, but we can't help to try.

The main direction is called inevitability. We go along with our dreams until we remember that there is something more important and follow that for a while. We do not choose our path. Even if we plan, the will to plan something is spontaneous. So is the will to go through with the plan or not, when the time comes. Importance is not 'out there'. Things are not important. We are the importance of things. Problems are not 'out there'. We find things problematic. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Everything else in between is entertainment.

INTJ as fuck.

Yes. This is the greatest paradox. Happiness is suffering if you anticipate its cessation. There is really nothing we can do about suffering, other than being present to it. And we can't help but to try to stop it nevertheless.

Humility and surrender helps me with moods like this. Imagine all of the suffering you will never experience.