tsuki

You don't have to know how things will turn out in order for them to turn out the best possible way. There is no shame in communicating your needs clearly, even if it seems scary. She can say "no" and it does not invalidate her feelings for you. The world is not a binary choice, as the ego-perception colors it. That is a very important observation. Let it sink.

That's tough, I'm sorry that you're suffering.

Confusion within me and contradiction between teachers. The insistence that 'getting >>there<<' will somehow save me.

There is little logical argument for marriage, if logic is what convinces you. I'm sure it was argued to death online and I would be surprised if the conclusion was any other than "marriage is not worth it". If you don't feel like marrying - don't. But what if you actually do want to get married, but are hesitant because there is little logical reasons for it? Maybe you want to convince your heart with logic, because your mind is scared to death? Maybe what-ifs are killing you? There is no logical reason out of this conundrum because your heart won't yield to your mind's petty arguments. Maybe, that is the whole point of marriage, to learn to listen to something else than your own chatter-box? I know it was for me.

Having fun has nothing to do with being immature. On the contrary, immature people tend to be stiff, perfectionistic, having unreasonably high expectations and get triggered by every other fuckup. Speaking from experience.

Of course it is. People say all kinds of stupid shit they don't mean when they are stressed out. I certainly have. She may even believe what she's saying but that only means she's delusional, not evil (morally speaking). All she wants is to feel good, but the method they both chose to achieve it deeply ineffective. There are no circumstances in which these things are acceptable to say. There are, however, circumstances in which these things are easy to say. Because relationships don't work when people involved aren't mature enough. They are a vehicle for growth, which starts by realizing that "something isn't working".

Things are hard for her. She has a new job, no friends, afraid of the pandemic, and a boyfriend that tells her that she's not feminine. Some women tend to turtle up in times of distress. They need to feel safe to be feminine. Have you tried to do something good for her? Like giving her a massage, etc? It's not always incompatibilty. Sometimes it's just the world shit-testing your bond.

@Leo Gura Lol, pua relationship advice: doesn't work? Walk away.

OMG this is my favorite picture on the internet. Imagine the artist pouring their inspiration to draw the wrinkles of the brain, and all the barf details!

@ndm678 What kind of work does she do? Maybe she's under the impression that the masculine energy is required in her work and she tries to fit into that environment? It is pretty common to wear the new energetic signature all the time when you are in a transition period. Just make sure that she knows that her feminine energy is required at home and that she will eventually need to learn to switch between the two. Maybe she will learn to be adaptable in this respect and your dynamic could improve over a longer period of time.

Because sexuality is demonized as inferior in our culture in favor of more spiritual pursuits. This is classic ego game of splitting human nature into parts that are in opposition, which is entirely false.

First of all, the framing of your problem is wrong. You are presenting it in a conflict-oriented way. You need to figure out how to think about this without creating opposition. A "me and my masculinity vs her and her femininity" kind of deal is not something you can get out of via confrontation. It is also not something you can address on your own. You should be clear about that. If she's not willing to help you, then you will not change anything. Raising your masculine energy will only make things worse. This is a coordinated effort. You need to present your needs openly, honestly, and express how you feel. Not by giving in to your anger, sadness, and fear by screaming, but by saying: "I see this or that this way and I feel angry, sad, or whatever". This conversation will only work, if she wants to satisfy your needs. When you are committed to each other and allow each other to express yourselves freely without judgment. Without this, you will only hurt each other. Realize that the only reason to be in a relationship is to give each other what each of you need. Each of you should know what you want, trust that you will get it, and want to provide for your partner. This is the basis of any relationship: clear and open communication.

Have you tried presenting her your perception in a non-judgmental way?

My God (Leo), this is comedy gold! They have honestly upped their game recently. This cracked me up really good.

@Raptorsin7 The false assumption here is that God designed war. God is allowing war because it is false, which is to say that it is not in accordance with our true nature. There is no way to disallow, or "fight" war, as that would create even more war. The only sensible way to respond to it is to allow it to dissipate its energy. The other misunderstanding here is that you are generalizing the notion of individual conflicts into an abstract war, as if the totality of wars across time and space were one thing that exists outside of your definition. In reality, all wars are highly contextual and relative, to the point, where putting them all into one category is pretty much meaningless.

I've been contemplating a lot recently, and a new order of understanding emerged. I wanted to share it here with you. Humans are a part of Nature, which is Good. Human nature, as well as all other beings, is good. It is wholly innocent, and with a single, unified intent to live and to flourish. We all know deeply what is harmonious, and this knowing is what we feel. We know this, because of our will to live and to flourish. There is no inhibition to life because Cosmos is open and giving. When we live in accordance with our true nature, we are in harmony with its order, and are content. To live in accordance with our nature, is enough. We have been given the gift of language, which purpose is to express our true nature. What we express is true inasmuch, as it is harmonious, which means that it feels good. It is possible to create untruths, or half-truths, that violate the principles upon which harmony is built. The most fundamental one is the principle of equality, that states that all aspects of the Cosmos are equal and unique, but not special (which is to say that they are exempt from the rules of order). From violations of harmony, false consciousness exists, which we call Ego. Ego is a state of consciousness. Ego has no existence of its own, apart from being defined in opposition to Cosmic Harmony. Ego has no nourishment, or life to it, because it is disconnected from harmony. Its existence is parasitic. It steals life force from humans by creating conflict and opposition among them. Ego is not a part of human nature. We know this by feeling. Ego perpetuates itself via untruths and half-truths that slander our nature. It operates by dividing human psyche into parts and creating inner conflict. At the root of this conflict lies the belief in hierarchical order, that some aspects of our existence are special and elevated, while others are lower and sinful. This manipulation disconnects us from harmony, as it violates the principle of equality. Our lack of nourishment is then used against the Cosmos to support Egoic view about its hostility and to spread more conflict in hope of extracting more and more life force from us. The purpose of conflict is to extract sustenance from humans and to feed false consciousness. Egoic consciousness is instilled in us via conditioning during childhood. It exists as self-images, and beliefs within our psyche that repress parts of us that later become our shadow. The Cosmos is not against the Ego and it needs no defending. The return to harmony is simply done via feeling. Whatever feels discordant is ego and has to be resisted. This is a natural response that does not have to be developed, but rather, recognized, and trusted. The correct response to ego is simply withdrawal, saying inner no, not-associating-with. Hostility, argumentative attitude, fighting, blaming, guilt, shame, ostracization, are all expressions of ego, and are not true resistance. Withdrawal is not passivity, but rather, resting in the joy of life, in our will, until the ego backs away. Ego always backs away eventually, because it is simply false. It has no power, or truth to it. Associating with the ego is not a sin. There is no atonement for it. Backing away, inspecting beliefs, returning to humility is enough. The Universe has a law that helps with it. It is called the Cosmic law of Fate. Fate is what happens, when we go against the cosmic harmony, when we try to impose our view upon it, and manipulate it against its nature. There isn't much to it, other than simply being ineffective. The Universe resists us, until we're left without energy to continue. When we're left alone due to our arrogance, we have the space to reflect upon how we feel, and listen to it. We have the space to inspect our beliefs and actions. That's it. No need for vengeance, karma, past lives, etc. Return to humility, and that's it.

Martin Butler has great elucidations of Spinoza's philosophy.

I read some of his Ethics, and it was one of the clearest intellectual images of God I have ever read. Spinoza is a great counterweight to Descartes, who is the dominant figure in metaphysics we all inherited from our culture.

Ego does not reside in the act of smacking the insect, but rather, in inspecting life as if it were an intellectual matter in which you have to prove your moral superiority over animals.

Choosing constants for encryption algorithms is not "installing back doors". Choose the constants that are considered standard practice by the industry, or use an open source library that does that for you because it is notoriously difficult. Also, do not take security advice from Leo, his website stores user passwords as plain unencrypted, unhashed text.

Again, you do not understand how data encryption works, if you claim that they have back doors. Sure, companies may cooperate with feds and give them data. They may have dedicated APIs for the feds to use. But if you encrypt your data with any publicly known encryption algorithm correctly, the feds will not read your data. This is simply not possible. Weaknesses of these algorithms are known, and keeping a major one secret is infeasible in the age when every single website uses them. Any banking app, all exchanges, all cryptocurrencies, EVERYTHING, basically the whole internet runs on it. Not to mention that these algorithms are not secret. Open up wiki, and read up on it. I dare you to find a "back door".

I don't think you understand what encryption is.

I just finished my one week vacation from work. We went to Cracow and did some sightseeing for a few days. Apart from being great fun, there was also a personal-development aspect to it because I put myself in different circumstances and had the opportunity to examine my mechanical behavior. Specifically, the apartament we rented was a small room with little windows and it was covered in mirrors to brighten and expand it. I had an opportunity to watch myself from unfamiliar angles in an unfamiliar place, which freaked the hell out of my animal. Of all the things that I could have noticed, I picked up on my self-righteousness, anger and pride. First of all, I think that I'm too smart and successful to take care of my appearance. My wife has been bugging me for years to put some tan on, and I never knew why it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right because I thought that I shouldn't concern myself with such trivialities. I am lying to myself about how attraction works. The most ridiculous assumptions that I have, is that my apartament is the expression of my parents' love and that IT MAKES ME ATTRACTIVE. Mentioning that something is not right about it triggers me. This has been the pain-point of our marriage for years because my wife loves to mess with things from time to time and replace stale stuff. For the longest time, she wanted to move out to a different place, and I never knew why I resisted it so much. Maybe the very thing that she felt to be so stifling was my pride all along? I also clearly noticed for the first time the difference between real anger and ego-anger. Real anger comes about as a reaction to injustice. Ego-anger is the expression of self-righteousness, of perceived moral superiority over another person. I made a commitment to observe it and cease my loyalty towards it. For years, I was choosing to be loyal to my self-righteousness. This will stop now. I consulted I-Ching about loyalty towards ego-emotions and it turned out that my perceived intellectual superiority was instilled in my by my grandfather and it was creating a poison arrow, which I promptly removed. This poison arrow was creating a feeling of hopelessness towards house chores in my body, and I enjoy the freedom that removing it brought. I was also meeting my sister this Sunday, and I was asked to inquire into her work situation. The session was very deep, because it uncovered her feelings of low self-esteem that she covers up with productivity. The same ailment I am weary of in myself. This is how our parents brought us up and I feel deep sympathy for her.

Enneagram is the typology of ego structures in relation to nondual awareness of Holy Ideas.

MBTI is a cognitive typology, not a value based one, like SDi.