PsiloPutty

In my opinion, no, you don't have to be willing to lose your sanity. Psychedelics would have to be one's last ditch hope in life in order for that sort of a wager to be worth the risk. You certainly need to surrender yourself to the experience, but the possibility of permanently going nuts isn't a needed ingredient in that surrender.

Naviy, that was a thoughtful post and it rings true for me. I'll just love the guy and remember that I can't drag other people along with me if they don't want the same things that I do. Thank you so much for posting.

Thanks, all. I do agree that it'll work itself out and find its own balance in time. I'll do a search for other similar threads; if anyone has one in particular that they found helpful, please link me. Thanks again for your help.

Does your loved one know about your commitment to self-development? Does he/she share that lifestyle and ambition? If so, and if they're right for you, I'd think they would be respectful of it and allow you and encourage you to maintain your practice. Then again, it's easy for us to get caught up in falling in love, even when it might leech some of the energy that we'd heretofore put into bettering ourselves. Even so, I'd think a healthy equilibrium would return in time if he/she is right for you. If it doesn't then it's not healthy for you. Does he/she know about your struggle with depression?

Excellent post. I can't disagree with what you said. I've enjoyed thinking that my frustration with him is more altruistic than that, but you have a solid point.

Yes, I like the guy's attitude and persona. OK, the "rewind this side" thing is a bit weird......

Ha yes, quite often. Emotions have always been very close to the surface for me.

Despite some internal bitching and moaning, I really don't have anything to complain about at all. I was kind of caught up in the internal bitching today until I saw this thread and thought about it. I have as blessed a life as a human being could reasonably hope for. Thank you for making me realize and take stock in that.

Be a transistor of love.... I love that phrase.

It's rarely a non-loaded question to begin with; very few people ask out of genuine inert curiosity. The question usually serves as a door-opener for them to unload their own perspective on you in an effort to either make you believe what they believe, or to make them feel superior to you. We all know that vibe. If that's the vibe I get from someone, I just tell them "yes, I believe in God" in order to diffuse the game. If I think that they honestly want to exchange ontological and philosophical ideas in a non-judgey way, I'll of course play ball and share my beliefs.

You definitely don't have to start with low doses. In fact, it sounds counterintuitive, but a lot of people find the lower doses (2 or 3 dried grams) more difficult in some ways than a 5g-6g dose, because their ego is more able to resist it with a smaller dose. I made a loooooong post about this and other mushroom topics here recently. It was in another thread about psychedelics, and it was still on Page 1 last evening, so it should be easy to find. Message me if you like. I enjoy helping mushroom newbies.

Like amorphous colored blobs floating by?

I initially tried doing it laying down, but you know what I'm gonna say next. I either fell asleep or had to battle it the whole time. That position just isn't serviceable for me. This guy's suggestions helped me get in the right position as far as the relation between my hips and knees. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbiH_U7S0e8

I hear ya, sister! I was just asking someone about the same thing yesterday. I start out sitting tall and solid, but after 25-30 mins of being in it, I become aware that I've slouched. Sometimes I will fix it and other times I just leave it as-is. I think there's a danger in trying to fix every little thing.....it prevents me from meditating!

Have you read Lucid Dreaming, by Stephen LaBerge? It's an easy read and it's full of tips and techniques.

I'll copy and paste something I posted here last week, as a bunch of it is applicable to you, too. Do not freeze them; the ice crystals will ruin the cell structure and turn them to slime. Get yourself a cheapie food dehydrator at Walmart and dry the whole mushrooms until they are as dry as a cracker. You want them dry enough that they break very easily, without any bending needed. Cracker dry. They're then ready to use or store. To store, just get an air-tight Mason jar (more than one jar, if you have a big crop), put a dessicant pack in it and store it in a cool, dark place for up to a year or two. As far as dose, here comes the pasted post from last week. Take what you can use from it....... Yeah, if 2g didn't do much, I'd just say the heck with it and go with the famed "Heroic Dose" which is 5g dried, but if 4g sounds less frightening, then do that. Whatever method you use, do it after fasting for 6 hours. Food in your stomach will delay the effects and increase your chance of feeling nauseated or throwing up. Some folks love doing mushroom tea, but it never works as well for me as actually consuming the mushrooms. I got fed up with the tea method after raising the dose again and again and still not getting the effect of eating them, so I'm done with that intake method, but there's not much to it: heat up 1 or 2 cups of water (however much you'd like to drink), put the hot water in a coffee mug, finely grind up your bone-dry mushrooms in a coffee grinder until it's like baby powder, empty out a couple regular tea bags and then add the mushroom powder to the empty bags and let them steep in your mug of hot water for 20 minutes, squeezing the bags from time to time to ensure that the actives in the mushrooms are getting into the water.....and drink it. That's straight mushroom tea. The method I've found to work better than any other is to grind up the mushrooms as described before, put them in an empty coffee mug, add 2 ounces of real lemon juice, stir it up a few times while 20 minutes passes.....and drink it all down at the 20-minute mark. This is called the Lemon Tek method. It's nasty-lookin' shit, with a taste to match, and you might have to do it little by little to keep from gagging, which is why I keep the volume of what I need to drink to a minimum. The lemon juice activates or potentiates the psilocybin, making the trip start faster than other consumption methods. It's thought that the citric acid in lemon juice converts the psilocybin into psilocin, a process which would happen in your body anyway, even without the lemon juice, but since the lemon juice does it while the mushrooms are in the mug, your body doesn't need to bother with it, thus making the effects appear faster. I always do my psychedelic journeys alone at home. If you have a very trusted friend who's willing to sit in a different room and only tend to you if you call out for them, that's OK too. You definitely want some privacy, though. I talk outloud, chant, sing and all sorts of shit that would be disturbing to a sober person in the house, especially if they're unfamiliar with seeing someone on a therapeutic dose of psilocybin. Having a newbie tripsitter is NOT advised. It would be a new experience for you both, and you want at least one of you to have an idea of what's going on. "What to do" during a trip: I like to meditate in the dark after I drink my mushrooms, and I keep doing that even while I can feel the trip starting. Don't worry about not getting deep enough into meditation; if you're like me, you'll be too jazzed up to get as deep as during a regular meditation session. The point is just to calm your mind in preparation for the experience. When it becomes difficult to continue meditating after the trip starts, because of what I'm seeing (eyes always closed), hearing and feeling, I talk to the mushroom, expressing my gratitude, asking for its help, its guidance and frankly, its mercy. Might be kooky to do that, but I'm not at all convinced that mushrooms aren't a doorway into another dimension, accompanied by some kind of alien intellect. It's not necessary to believe what I believe as far as the alien intelligence goes, but you DO have to surrender yourself to it and acknowledge that you're in the direct presence of something that has it in its power to beat you up mentally if you're too cocky about it and try to exert control over it. That's what I like about the higher doses - they automatically put you in the passenger seat. At low doses, your ego is very much intact and it is petrified to relinquish control. Low doses can be a lot more challenging than higher doses for that very reason; your ego can fight and kick around and cause something of a rotten trip. Your ego is ushered into a waiting room in some ways during a 5g+ trip, and you are more apt to just lay there and surrender, which is when the mushroom can stretch out and do the driving. That's not to say that you for sure won't have challenging periods on a therapeutic dose; you sure may, but it's all a part of it. It's Yin and Yang. When I have a rough time, I fall back on Terence McKenna's advice of sitting up in bed and chanting or singing. It oxygenates your brain and can really free up a mental log jam. The last trip I had, I got stuck early on, started chanting and even after I felt better, I kept up with the chanting for 2 full hours because it felt so good and needed for some reason. I didn't know from one moment to the next what sounds were going to come out of my mouth. It was as liberating and cathartic as anything I've done in my almost 50 years on earth. Anyway, your fear is normal and GOOD. It signifies that you're serious about it and that you understand that you'll have to drop the reins and surrender to something very different than you've ever experienced. Again, you will still be you afterward. Even while it's happening, you'll still have the ability to go to the restroom, drink water and such, although you should stay in bed as much as possible. If you're like most people, the trip comes in waves. There will be times when the surf's up and all you can do is stay put and absorb what it's showing you, but there will also be low-tide times when you can go pee, drink some water or whatever for a couple minutes before the tide returns. I usually have 3 solid hours of heavy tripping before it begins to leave, but don't plan on leaving the house or doing anything too normal for 6 hours. If you can summon the courage to do this, it'll likely rank among the most important and profound activities you have ever engaged in. The potential for personal growth in such a short timeframe is completely unparalleled. All it takes is true courage, curiosity and an explorer's sense of adventure.

Since I've only been doing it for 2 months, my main achievement, which isn't a small one, has been realizing that this is definitely good for me and something I will pursue.

Ha, I was going to say "MEDITATE!!!" but I see it's already been covered. OP, it really does help, even if it doesn't feel like you're doing it correctly at first.

Yeah, some would say it was a glitch in the running script from the simulation that defines our reality.

Ahhhh, a zymergist! I was into that about 20 years ago and had a blast with it. Big glass carboys, tubing, air bubblers, wort on the stove. Super fun stuff, man. I wasted 5 gallons of delicious wort one time and turned it all into pickle juice. I remember the fermentation was going at a frenetic rate, and I just knew that it couldn't be yeast in there doing it that quickly. At least not the yeast that I had pitched! Anyway, yeah, have fun growing your cubes. I'm assuming you're doing cubensis. Are you doing PF Tek or a growkit that you bought? It's fun watching that pretty mycelium spread around on your grains or rice flour. I hope you're enjoying the process. Do you have your first experience planned out yet as far as your dose and where you're going to do it? I had it all planned weeks in advance.

As far as being serious about it as a path to self-betterment, I'm new to it. I've done 30-40 mins a day for the past 2 months and love the way it makes me feel, even when I'm NOT meditating.

The checkpoint is in YOU. It's 100% subjective. When you feel like you're ready for that change of perspective, it's time. The fact that you started this thread is a good sign to me, the reader, that you're ready, but that's YOUR call, Hoss. What would you start with if you decided to go forward with it? It's OK to have no idea; just asking.

Are they fruiting yet, or still colonizing? I think growing one's own mushrooms endears them to us more, because we cared for them and brought them to life, misted and fanned them, gave them the right amount and type of light, admired and talked to them and so on. That closeness to the process can even affect the trips they eventually provide, because there's an investment of love and intention in there which makes it truly symbiotic.

I don't recall who I got the metaphor from, but for me, the psychedelic experience was like in The Wizard of Oz when the curtain was suddenly pulled open, revealing a weak and ridiculous little man who'd had everyone hoodwinked into believing in this frightening, larger-than-life persona, providing them all with The Truth of life. They then realized that it was all a sham, and they'd been buying a lie the entire time. Society, culture, governments and their laws are the sad little wizard, scamming us out of our individuality and our ability to think critically. For me, psychedelics opened the curtain and showed me how tragically shameful it is to go through life believing that they're telling us the truth in how we should live. I learned that the people making the rules were/are just as lost in their lives as I was in mine, and that took their power away.

For me, they (ayahuasca and psilocybin) opened the curtain just enough to give me a astonishing peek at what reality is. If I never did another psychedelic again, I'd still have the memory of what I saw, felt and gained to motivate me to become a better iteration of myself. That said, I do find it beneficial to rinse and repeat every so often, as the insight can fade over time, just like any other experience or memory we have. They're a tool for me.