PsiloPutty

OP, where do you live? Have you looked closer to home, where they might even be free of charge? If you haven't, just Google something like "Vipassana retreats" and you'll see that they're all over the place. I did a 7-day retreat last month at Shambhala in Colorado, and it was wonderful.

I burn about 3 sticks of incense a day at home, and I do enjoy picking up a whiff of it while I meditate. I usually seem to smell it when I'm coming "off point" with my breath focus, and the smell wakes me and gets me back on track. You don't really think your bike wreck was because of incense do you?

If they don't *snap* when you break them, then yeah, they still have H2O in them. How much? Hard to tell, and that's the corner we get stuck in when they aren't dried properly. I guess if I wanted a 3.5g trip with those mushies, I'd weigh out 4g and cross my fingers, but you'll be obsessing about it as the trip starts, which leads you down the wrong path right away.

Nope, but don't try to tame it. Let it happen and welcome it.

@cetus56 I always get good stuff outta your posts. I find it hard to follow the thoughts of some folks here, but yeah, I'm guessing it's because I still think I'm me.

@Alex Busch Right, gotcha. I didn't get into Holosync, but for months I would use binaural beats to meditate, and found that it helped me "learn how" to meditate. Like you, I eventually found that I could meditate much easier than before without listening to anything. I still use it a couple days a week. Same here with the extra 5 minutes of silence once the sound stops. I explore the idea that I'm not who I think I am, and I also conjure up strong feelings of love to end things on.

Sounds like Kundalini moving? I've had the vertigo, and also something similar to shivers of current going through me, but maybe different than what you describe. Anyway, I'd take it as progress. Careful to not want or expect a repeat of it. Curious about your experience with Holosync. What about it led you to meditate longer? What differences do you notice, when compared to your previous meditating?

Thank you much for that. Next week is my first retreat. Nervous, excited and curious as heck.

Hey, here's a thought for you. I've done this and it sorta works. Pause a movie, youtube vid or TV show when a person is up close to the camera and looking right into it. The closer their headsize (on the screen) is to a normal headsize the better it works, but get a foot or so away from it and eye gaze with them. Who knows, doing that enough may help you with your phobia. Desensitization practice.

Sure, I understand that. And finding a stranger to do it with is tricky in any case. Going up to some dude on the sidewalk and saying "this is gonna sound odd, but do you have 10 minutes?" isn't quite normal. When I'm in it, I forget that I'm looking at another person. It's as though I'm alone and looking at myself. Just talking about it makes me want to go find a willing partner!

Right on, sorry for the confusion. Oh man, I've had some very intimate sessions with other people. I can't even describe the feelings I get while doing it, especially with someone I don't know very well. If I had only 10 minutes to get to know a stranger, I would forego all conversation and go straight to the eye gazing. LOL, obviously they have to be onboard and doing it too. Every time I do it with this one girl, I see my ex-wife, plain as day in front of me. I don't think the girl's face or eyes look like my ex, so no idea where it comes from, but I send love to my ex when I see her, and it helped me to heal old wounds. It's intimate regardless of whose eye I'm looking at, and I usually have loose tears rolling down my face by the end of the sessions. If it wouldn't get me beat up and scorned, I'd do 15 minutes with every stranger on the streets.

No mirror involved when eye gazing with another person. Was that what you wanted to clear up? I'd be happy to talk about eye gazing with another person, though.

@okulele Wow, that's weird we both posted RS videos. I like his approach with people. Calm, friendly, probing.

If you get to a mellow headspace or get stuck on a thought, this might help to generate a new path or idea.

That's great, man. If I think of any vids that you might find useful, I'll post them. But have a productive time. Have you done LSD before? How much are you planning on taking? I hope you have a breakthrough that rocks your foundation.

@Mikael89 That's a great description. I've never not seen my face, though. That'd be something!!

I love doing mirror work. I do get more out of it with another person, though. Adds a new layer of "self" to the process. It's very touching and fulfilling.

Wow, three hours is beyond impressive to me. What about nature's call? Unless I was purposely on the dehydrated side, I'd surely have to pee during that time. That's not even addressing the mental side of this. I think it's great that you're able to go that long without flippin' out.

Got me a chuckle reading your comment above.

Thabk you again. I can easily stay focused and meditate happily for 60 minutes if I'm not doing a strong determination sit. The physical freedom of being able to move a degree or two this way or that, it makes a lot of difference in relieving pain in my back. The mental freedom of not doing an SD sit is probably the bigger component, as I don't feel "contractually bound" to not moving. Kind of like putting a straight jacket on a sweet little old lady.....she's gonna go nuts when she starts fighting it! I'm being extreme, but that's the gist of it. I don't know, for me it seems worth pursuing that mental challenge, despite the anguish involved.

I don't know brother, it sounds like you have some unrealistic expectations to me. Psychedelics can't be lassoed and controlled like that. Come to think of it, people can't be, either. If they are friends, why are you cutting them from your life? If they aren't your friends, why do all of this?

@Space Thank you for that. And yes, I only did the last 15 minutes of it to say that I sat perfectly still for 60 minutes, when it was only a 45-minute session of actual meditating. What I need to do is to stretch that undisturbed, equanimous 45 minutes into an undisturbed 50 minutes, and then an undisturbed 55 minutes, etc. Am I wrong to do those last 15 minutes of forced, non meditative resolve? It feels empowering and good afterward. My ego wants me to give up as soon as I realize that I'm out of a meditative state. The ego is the voice screaming at me to just open my eyes and be done. But if there's another voice telling me that it will be worth it to stick this out and prove to myself that I can do it, it's hard to not listen to that voice as something bigger than my ego.

I've done 60 mins in a strong-determination sit, and I know exactly what you're feeling. My body was feeling OK, but my mind was screaming at me, making me pissed off and wanting nothing more than to hear the timer. I wasn't even meditating toward the end of it. "It's GOT to be in the final 10 minutes now.....Let's just count 50 breaths and it should be close to over by then....what the fuck, man.....maybe I forgot to even set the timer.....maybe it's been 3 hours! ......I'm a puss if I quit now....... It's a mindfuck, but I do feel that it's good for me, and I'm wanting to increase my SD sit times as well. Shinzen Young feels that it's a producer of big results. Anyway, I'll check back for info. Hopefully it's not just full of people saying how pointless meditation is.

Bam. That's turning turning defeat into motivation.

They are supposed to put your brain into that specific wave pattern. Here's a very short breakdown of the various brain waves: https://blog.mindvalley.com/brain-waves/