WaveInTheOcean

First time I took my sweet time to read your whole post. Amazing write-up, amazing story, amazing clarity. Your video on your YouTube-channel is also gold. Thank you for your contribution to this forum Nahm <3 What do you get if you cross Matt Kahn with Leo Gura? Nahm =D

You decide. Absolute freedom.

Well said. That's actually on one hand super obvious - but also a great mindfuck.

It can't really be defined. But one could say it is the deep recognition that all is one. Or the deep recognition that what one truly is, is not a person/human being, but Infinite Consciousness aka God aka Love.

Nothingness - Existence - Nothingness - Existence - Nothingness ... And so to infinity. A wave is made up of troughs and crests; and they always follow each other

You could take a psychedelic or MDMA. Also nothing wrong with depending a bit on other's as in we need some social contact to be happy, enlightened or not. Since you're intp you're probably also ennegram type 5. Have a read https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-5 Our biggest trap is replacing direct experience with concept's ?

God is God is always awake! Sort of. God likes to pretend he's deluded. All of the world is God manifested as that. Of course, many things, including songs, are like a mirror for God (you) to see her true nature as Absolute Infinite Love ?

So are "you" - just by nature of writing these meaningless words:> Who's still in the dream of seperation? You said it yourself: there is nobody here. You are speaking to yourself as 'whatever you wanna call the ineffable'. ---- "The deepest awakening is Infinite Love" The deepest awakening/Infinite Love is at the same time: now / nothing / ever-present / what-is & 'my past DMT-trip' / 'my future DMT-trip/mystical experience' / something / hard-to-get / what isn't If "it" were either 0 or 1 , A or B, it wouldn't be. What exists only exists by virtue of not existing. I'll take an impossible shot: Everything is IT. Everything is God. Which is me, you, everything, nothing, Love, etc. However, some *perceived* part of 'IT' (even though there are no parts) are more "God-like"; that is: more aware of itself as IT. The parts of God not so aware of IT are deliberately designed to be so. After all, what all this can best be described as is by analogy of a game. Existence is playful. Life is a game. Play it how you wanna. The highest game is the one where you try not to play. Within the game it is possible to become aware of the game itself by doing certain "things" (i.e. just gaining experience through living life, studying, reading, reflecting, taking psychedelics, etc.) . This is what awakening is. However, everyone else playing the game rather unconsciously are just as much God/Infinite Love as you are. After all, it is all you, God, your way, God's way. Who's waking up? God. Who's asleep? God. You.

missclick

You mean the lengths of playing hide and seek with Himself that God will go to are truly bottomless ? God: 'I am not God!' Oh, after all those struggles, the joy and ecstasy of Absolute Infinite Love finally "finding" Itself -- dissolving into Itself ???

"Miscarriage is devastating. So difficult to understand. It’s like grieving in reverse: Instead of memories, you have hopes to hold on to. Who are you mourning? I believe in a soul - I have to now - in as much as something to represent the difference between being alive, or inert. The force that is at the source of every person, the fundamental burning core. That place inside us where, when we are totally alone and in darkness, we are all the same. And, being the same, never truly alone. This music was written in a blur after driving home from an abandoned tour in Germany to collapse inward in grief. I'm sorry to everyone I let down then. I can remember the hour or so it took to write only as a single snapshot from outside myself. It is dedicated with constant love to a life never lived. I wish we’d got to meet you."

What is 'the human experience'? Where is it? What is it made of? Can you show me?

I just took 38 mg of 2C-B 5 hours ago. And I'm not tripping any more, just after-effects. However, this 2CB-trip was the most profound of profound. I have woken up. Dno what else to say. Oh yes, I'm God. And everything is God. It's all me. Everything that has ever happened to me in my life was my own doing (as God). Same goes for your lives. It's all God. And I am that. You are that. That's all awakening boils down to: Either you realize you're God, or you don't. Either you remember it or you don't. You get it, ta-dah or you don't, ta-dohhhh. I have never cried so much as I have in the last 3 hours. Tears running down my face over how beautiful it all is. Seeing it's all me. It's also horrifying as fuck. What should I do now? I'm fucking done. However, I felt that God told me (that is I told myself) that my purpose is to help wake other ppl up. My peak experience on the 2CB-trip felt like a big puzzlepiece where all the puzzles just came into place. And it was the most beautiful and most profound experience in my life. I have never done 5-MeO, but fore sure want to. I've done LSD 5 times, DMT 10+ times (one breakthrough), Ayahusaca 2 times, and this 2CB-trip is my 7th. And the deepest of deepest. I'm 25 years old and have been pursuing spiritualiy/enlightenment/psychedelic-exploring/meditation for 5 years. Before my 20's I was a hardcore atheist. Yeah, ask my anything if you give a fuck:D I have to talk to myself through someone, it's nice. EDIT: It's actually a really thin life between "losing it" and staying grounded. I wish to stay grounded though. When you know you're God you have absolute free will. No point in losing it, although that could be fun aswell. (with "losing it" I mean acting out insane as that youtuber some weeks ago did. He prolly acted insane cos his ego wasn't aligned with God).

But you are already experiencing the outcome of unlimited power: your current experience in THIS present moment is a result of that. Denying the divinity and miraculous mystery of the present moment as it is RIGHT NOW, well, that is the ego's doing. Don't get attached to the *idea*/*belief* of "I am God". You have always been God, and always will be God. You feel helpless. Well. Take care of your ego's needs. Don't be in denial. Accept your shadow side (ego). Deep down, your ego wants to fall in love with life, it wants to pursue something, it wants to achieve something, it wants love, it wants to be recognized for being 'good'. Accept this and start to take action to meet your ego's needs. Denying ego is the most egoic thing to do and the ego's sneakiest deception-trick. It hides itself in disguise in form of the idea "I am God", and then it believes "well, that's it, nothing more to do", ... but, this doesn't work out, because deep down, you don't actually believe you are God, it doesn't feel like it at least (feeling helpless, right), and in actuality, what your inner child wants is to go out in the world and participate in it. Find a way to participate in it that gives you joy. Do good things to your mind and body, find something you're passionate about, take risks, put yourself out there and see what happens. Don't be afraid, as you say, it's all just Perfect Maya anyway -- there's no reason to live in fear. Make discipline and work-ethic some of your top priorities. You have to do the hard thing, you have to suffer, to taste the goodness. Yes, life may be a hamster wheel without any deeper purpose other than life itself. But: you got no choice but to embrace it. You are free to create your own purpose. To me, it sounds like you are deep down afraid of life: a deeply obscured belief of 'I am not good enough'.... and instead of getting to the bottom of this by taking action, you sort of obscure it all by saying to yourself "Oh, it's all Perfect. There is no reason to do anything", which isn't *actually true* if you don't feel like everything is perfect. LIsten to your inner child. It wants to achieve. It wants to evolve. It wants to participate. It wants craziness. Dare to be crazy. Dare to set your foot in the world and make your unique mark. Integrate the spiritual with the physical. Don't deny the physical. If you do, you are stuck in duality. After all: the physical is spiritual. The spiritual is physical. Don't make the mistake of replacing direct experience with concepts. Concepts and thoughts are fine and all, if they serve to do conscious actions. If you just wander around in concepts and thoughts forever without actually directly experiencing anything those thoughts and concepts points to, then suffering will catch up with you.

The new 'Soul' from Pixar. Watch on Disney+ Amazing movie, very spiritual.

It is all illusion, play, maya. Everything that happens may be Good, Perfect, Love. But... this is from the Highest Perspective. From the Human Perspective, life, reality is serious business filled with dualities: heroin is bad for you, carrots are good. Being alone, isolated is bad. Socializing is good. Having no purpose is bad. Having a purpose is good. Etc. No matter how high your consciousness get, no matter the peaks of infinite understanding you have climbed to, you are still bound by survival mechanics as long as you are a human being. You need sleep, exercise, food, friends, purpose, otherwise you will feel bad. All language and thought systems are ultimately based on the axioms of survival. You must survive. You have to accept survival. You are a survival machine. Everyone are. Some are just more sophistacted than others, but survival machines we all are. Now, why have I/You -- as God -- created reailty in such a way that it feels like I am not God, but a separate self programmed to survive? Well that's a good question. Probably for the thrill of it, creation. I cannot create without making distinctions, without creating dualities, without fragmenting myself up. Everything serves a purpose. You shouldn't be good. That's a choice you have to make. Make some choices, you have to -- you are always making choices whether you're conscious of it or not.

Psychedelics are tools. You can hammer a nail into a wall with your bare hands, but it will take some time. Or you can use a hammer. You can remove the veil of separateness with meditation alone -- it'll take time -- or you can use a psychedelic. Both perhaps.

Great Also

thanks for sharing <3

The question depends on the context. Do I have free will as the false self, the separate human being I imagine myself to be? Obviously not. Do I have free will as the true self, God? Obviously. You have infinite free will. Your will is so infinite and so free that you are even capable of imagining yourself to be a "poor-little-me" stuck in a human body.

Can you explain 'the biology of an ant' without taking into consideration the environment in which the ant is situated? Can you explain the biology of a human being without taking into consideration its environment? Can you have 'life' -- conscious beings -- without 'environment' ? Can you have environment without life/conscious beings?? Can you have 'self' without 'other' ?

Thanks for sharing, what a ride ???

great trip report, thank you! <3