billiesimon

I'm pretty fucked up

That's a very interesting and useful story! thanks! I also have problems with never having had "crazy experiences", like threesomes and all that stuff. This pains me a lot because I unconsciously avoided all those paths in life to keep myself "clean". The problematic part is that when I hear men having these experiences, I feel a slight slight envy, but when it's women who tell me these stories... I feel so resentful towards myself. Such a loser. I think this stems from the fear of being judged a "nice loser guy" by women. Growing up I've always seen girls choosing the fuckboys over me, and I think that I developed this sense of shame around being a nice guy. Nowadays I feel a lot of shame when a woman tells me I'm nice, actually.

I have a very similar background My family is catholic, which is normal in europe, but some families are more secular than others. Mine was pretty traditionalist. I grew up with a similar sense of guilt, and shame about my own desires. I think that part of me is still somehow held back by this conditioning, and I also have a very strong resentment towards myself for never letting go to a casual sex lifestyle.

LOOOOL! I mean it in the RSD way. They usually use the term "fuckboy" to describe a guy who has casual sex or fuckbuddy sex. Never heard about this "faking relationships" thing. I hate that.

To me it's important because I've never never had an adventure, only relationships all my twenties. For my part, I'm completely clean and healthy, and always been. I'm going to protect myself 100% to keep being clean of diseases. Thanks again

Thanks I'm not interested in doing it for life, just for a short period of time to get this experience in my bag. I don't want to manipulate or damage anybody, I'm interested in trying this out with women who look for casual sex. It's against my values to be a liar about sex/relationships.

I don't know what kind of definition of fuccboi you mean. I mean just having casual sex in an honest manner. I'm not interested in using fake romance to get the girls. Girls also like casual sex with no emotions attached.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I laughed SO HARD with this one!!! The holy icon with Leo simply killed me

One of the best ones

Leo, to be clear, we love you but this thread is such a wonderful waste of time

My first one

Thanks! I'm going to read it now.

I tried both in different months of this year, and I don't know which is better to self actualize. My end goal for this stage of my life is to become: more motivated more productive less scared of the future and of "negative consequences" more socially free and extrovert less pressured by societal judgement more enthusiastic about life and less apathetic (I get a lot of apathetic/almost sad days and this makes me suffer a lot) What should I focus more on to get these social and motivational results? Classic meditation or self inquiry? I'm actually afraid that self inquiry might make me even more apathetic and idle about social life (when in fact I really really want to let go of social pressure).

Also be aware that you might have an ego of being the good loser guy, like I have. If you believe you are the good guy who gets targeted by evil, you are going to act in a weird manner that's going to attract negative reactions, or upset good people, whom you're going to misinterpret as bad people (like I did with the good girls I dated in the recent years).

Well. there's a double reason for that. The first and most important is that you have your psychological issues to fix. I am fixing mine, and the way that the "feminine world" is responding to me is changing too. When you start to emotionally understand women you will start to attract a more positive feminine vibe. The second reason is that the vast majority of people are indoctrinated by mainstream society, which means that a big percentage of women (and men) are just zombies addicted to gossip, the latest Iphone, and reality shows. The end result is that a lot of women (and again, men) are in the matrix, shallow, superficial, trained by the government to be silent puppies and consume. Regarding projection, I used to think a lot that women were very very fickle and avoidant of commitment. Then I started inquiring and meditating about my behaviours and discovered that in the past I've been VERY fickle and incongruent with women. Things like inviting them to a date and then never actually organizing the details to meet and just disappear. Another thing I used to do was to avoid like hell to show our relationship to my and her friends, because public commitment was scary to me at the time. And so I projected it onto women. By the way after 6-12 months of commitment "in the shadows" these girls all dumped me because of it (now I recognize they were right) and I then had an excuse to play the victim and feel like the "good one" mistreated. Now, I've also had legitimate bad experiences but only as a teenager. The experiences up here are more recent, after I developed this damaged persona.

Very useful response! But what kind of practice would be faster and more effective on killing the most corrupt parts of my ego? I'm talking about social anxieties, status anxiety/persona anxiety, weak motivation to biuld my life on some days, a lot of self doubts, and a general under the skin fear of expressing my authenticity. Of course also my "nicest" parts are ego, but I want to start by dissolving my worst egoic features. The ones who create fear, anxiety, paralysis in careers, and with socializing. What kind of meditation or inquiry would help me the most?

Hey girls. I'm trying to better understand women and how they feel and perceive their own sexual and relational worlds. Since I have my own view, which is of course shaped by me being a young man and being hurt in the past by some girls, I need to hear directly from women what some experiences are for them, to really understand them and reconcile myself with some shadows I have had. What about relationships vs casual sex? I've been shocked years ago by discovering that a lot of girls I knew were only interested in casual sex (this because I tend to prefer relationships). Now I'm openminded about that and I don't judge, but I'd like to hear your own feelings about it. Do you find more satisfaction and magnetic attraction towards casual sex/seeing different men/casual dating or towards a passionate close relationship? The stereotype is of course "girls want closeness" but in some of my experiences I've seen a lot of girls just casually dating with low interest in love. But I'm not judjing, just asking share what you feel

This is the best one so far!!! I think I'll try to create some, I love these time-wasting retarded topics

Interesting topic. In my opinion marriage is a dead institution, which carries on as a scam to rob people of money and to run corrupt government departments. I know it's also my ego, but I generally feel disgust towards marriage, because the act of signing a contract ABOUT MONEY when talking about love is the epitome of corruption and self interest. If you really love someone, just go live together. You don't need a paper that assures you that you'll rob the other person of their money. Nature doesn't need marriage. Just go live together and build a nice happy life with your emotional commitment. Keep the government out of my fucking private love life.

I came here the first time in the forum with some negative beliefs about women, based on negative experiences and some pessimistic political articles. At least when I was similar to you I came here with humility and willingness to learn. I decided to question my default victim mentality and start to open myself up to the woman's experience. For the last time: don't hold onto your ego. Listen to @Emerald, who's dedicated to this area of self help. I really appreciate what she did here on the forum to heal the feminine side of men. Now the power of healing yourself is up to you. Notice also how your ego claims to be "self actualizing" while you are in fact debating the people who already dealt with this problem you have we're trying to help you.

Bro, calm down. She's just trying to help you. I can feel all your sadness in your posts. I was in a similar position two years ago, but not so deep luckily. You feel rejected by the feminine energy and you crave the soft emotions that they give you. You have to accept this. It's not a loser thing. You have to embrace the neediness and then do the necessary work to remove it. The first step is becoming aware of the moments where you project evil onto women. This woman is an example of a woman you would appreciate, because she is giving you what you want: empathy and a way out of your sadness. Notice that you are resisting her and thus creating this false reality where she is just "another female enemy". When in fact she's the opposite. Become aware of the fear of the opposite sex and release it.

I know I'm late with this "scandal" about Teal Swan, since she discussed it in autumn 2017 but I discovered it just these days. And it firstly shocked me, then horrified me, then made me guess my comprehension of the world, then made me investigate more, then made me comfortable and content again. And I learned a lot about reality and about our collective minds. Here's what I learned. This is the video where she responds to a tornado of hateful and skeptical videos or articles Here's how my mind opened up a lot by questioning this controversy: 1. Let's start by saying that I like Teal's work, especially the shadow/emotional work. When I discovered this controversy the first reaction I had was "it's just envy! these people can't understand the effort and dedication that Teal is putting in her job! They are disgusting!" And I was triggered HARD, man.... Really hard.... I reacted because of fanboy-mentality. 2. I decided to investigate the allegations of scam/fakeness/greediness with a somehow open mind, even though it was painful to give up some of my "ideological ego" to do this. 3. A lot of allegations, provided with facts and citations, seemed very consistent and when I went to verify them, they were factually true! At this point a felt a very depressing and devastating feeling inside me. "what if all the people that have helped me to change my old sad and hopeless life were fake? what does this mean? why can't there just be authentic people out there? why would she do that?" This was very painful and the only thing that remained to me was to investigate more. 4. I started to feel some kind of repulsion towards her figure, and this kind of "gut feeling" started to develop inside me, becoming "my tryth" (a term that, honestly, is just BS). I felt like I had to REALLY distance myself from her teachings and philosophy. This became completely real to me. She was fake. No doubts about it. 5. My first instinct was just to leave all this matter alone and forget about it and forget about her teachings. Then I read in an article about her that she made a response video). My gut feeling told me to leave it alone and just recover from the false teachings. 6. And then Leo's video about radical openmindedness struck me like a thunder. The same open mind who got you to investigate the scandal should also make you investigate the response she made. It felt painful but I decided to look it up, even though I was skeptical as fuck. 7. The video struck me like a second "scandal". I went full circle. Teal completely, rationally, logically, systemically, demolished all of the allegations (watch the video and you will see) and didn't fall in the trap of bashing her haters. She just honestly explained her work and her choices in life. That's just it. She just explained it in a very honest and neutral way. I was sooooo shocked. Not by the video. But by my mind. My mind completely fucked my up, believing in random allegations with an emotional and hysterical feel to it. And my mind fell to the superficial explanations of these detractors. This made my mind more open to this shocking reality: Our mind is so fragile, and weak, and blind. Our minds lurk in the absolute darkness of ignorance, mob thinking, gossip, idolization, and demonization. Teal is not a guru, she's just a woman on the path of self discovery, helping others to do it too. And all the people criticizing her so harshly because of scattered facts with NO context.... are just trapped by their own egos (envy? fear?), thus projecting negative traits onto her. But at the same time they are just humans, with positive traits too! They should not be demonized either. This is how we start fighting eachother. This is how we create drama and emotional pain. This is how MY mind works and how I deceived MYSELF all my life. This means that my mind is ALWAYS in the darkness. We are all swimming in darkness, following ideologies, following the BS that our friend tell us, following the lies that we tell ourselves too. This made me realize that we don't know. Period. We don't even know that we don't know.

Totally true. He had good intentions even before the scandal, but he was too egotistical. After the scandal he became more genuine and relatable.

Yeah, I've seen this video on the release date, and it certainly helped me to understand this "scandal". Every single person has a unique path in life that we can't understand.

Oh god help me. Why are you being confrontational? I just gave a nice suggestion to be free and to not be intimidated by old outdated XVIII century traditions. Do I really need to explain? Let's do it. We live in the third millennium, we are not in a traditionalist era. We all have te same civil rights. I completely understand that you can be paranoid about some behaviours. I'm a paranoid person too. So I was just trying to cheer you up, because you CAN live a fullfilling life nowadays and I want you to. it was out of empathy for your paranoid tendencies, since I have some too. It's not because I'm an evil patriarch with a slavery business. God dammit. Be happy, be free. I don't need to cheer you up. I just like motivating people out of empathy.