RendHeaven

Low quality thread lmao *waits on leo*

Maybe ya'll see reality different AND are hilarious Connor is genuinely motivated by pursuit of truth. He has suffered a lot off camera. He is playing a persona online. love + show are not mutually exclusive.

She will always be __ on the inside? But hey, good for them.

Alright. I just had the impression that you were judging as an outsider. Relationships can yield unbelieve beauty. It's not all hell. Balance in everything

I love connor. People calling him shallow are hilarious lol.

How many long term relationships have you been in?

I'm strongly convinced that what I ultimately want is monogamy (once I'm older and wiser lol), but I could be tricking myself. I just don't know anymore. Currently I'm leaning towards open relationships because I'm young and have been hurt by monogamy in the past.

I understand exactly this feeling. It is my first reaction as well. All I will say is, the longer you wait, the more you will suffer.

The principles are timeless. 1. I'm not sure whether you mean the culture around male-female dynamics, or if you mean covid-19. Either way, women are still on the streets, and whether or not they're willing to talk is entirely up to how interesting you are. 2. But it does. How else would you possibly learn how to interact with people other than interacting with people? LOL. There's no shortcut or workaround.

@Everyday I meant exactly what I said. There are millions of better girls out there in the world. She is not special. This goes against all of your higher values. Someday, you want a sexy, smart, caring, loving, and strong but vulnerable girl to spill her soul to you and fuck you and cuddle you and to look up to you with glowing eyes, right? Well, it will never happen if you continue this mindset of settling for the any scrap of affection. I promise, you CAN develop yourself to the point where this girl I described shows up in your life and bonds with you. But you have to take control of your life and make the hard choices. Dump your current gf. Study attraction (pm me if you need help). Practice socialization (https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/61312-opening-up/). Exercise. Build personal clout. Move countries. Embrace loneliness. Become strong. Become somebody that stands for something. Become someone who's soul is so steeled that you can withstand any adversity. And develop a genuine want to appreciate and protect women. Not to be liked in return, but because you're so appreciative and strong inside that it just overflows into the external world. You can do it, If you decide to. Or not

You're dating a child. There are millions of better girls out there in the world.

@Etherial Cat Do you think you can describe the connection you desire?

You're going to fail regardless. So, fail faster. Just go do it.

Honest feedback: I wish you'd show, not tell On the topic of seduction, all hetero men ought to watch this:

I've been saying "hi" and making small talk with as many strangers as I can recently. This has been a very positive experience overall but it saddens me that there is no substance of connection underneath any of these interactions. How do I reliably take a stranger and cultivate an atmosphere where we can open up to each other? In the past this has happened organically without my trying. But now that I'm trying, I can't replicate it. P.S. I'm asking in a general context, not just dating... although this applies to dating as well.

Got it, thanks

Hmm although maybe not having social media could be an interesting topic to bring up? And if I'm the one putting my number into their phone, they don't have to deal with fumbling over numbers. This will take a lot of tact and rapport though, I can tell.

Thanks again. Yeah, I've been ejecting way too fast for sure. Sometimes we're actually really vibing and I just cut it off and leave because for some reason I can't get over the projection that I'm preventing people from going about their day. Maybe me talking to them is the best thing to happen to them? I simply can't know so I shouldn't assume the worse. What would you say is the best social media to have? Currently I've got nothing (used to but deleted everything as a personal "cleanse"). I can still do phone numbers but that feels like a heavy investment to ask of someone... fumbling with numbers lol...

This is great, thank you. Does intention always have to be explicit? I just pictured stating "hey let's get to know each other" or "hey I'm just being friendly" out loud and sort of gagged at the utter boldness. I feel like there's a fine line here between coming off weird and coming off like a champion. And if not explicit, how would you possibly show intention implicitly (in a non-dating context?) Thoughts?

WOAH...

I think we both know that you're delusional (but also not!?) I'm still 21 but I've been in a committed relationship with my dream girl already - and the fact of the matter is, once she left me I was back to ground 0 with the same sense of emptiness inside as before and even during the relationship. Girls cannot fulfil you. Period. That being said, I also understand that lack of experience can suffocate your mental health. There is definitely something freeing about experiencing what you've been "missing out on." I think the healthiest way to forge forward into the future is to take risks and put yourself out there with the goal of having new experiences (with women), but ultimately keep in the back of your mind that none of this leads to true fulfilment. Strength from within.

@SamC That's so funny that you of all people would say this because I've been silently lurking in your threads and strongly relating to the questions that you've been asking this forum, lol. Been thinking of reaching out, but had a million excuses not to. Guess it's time to stfu and say hi lol

Everyone. I'm actually still a college student. I'm asking this because I'm trying to extinguish social anxiety once and for all. Currently I have a self-made rule of: "say hi to literally everybody I see in public." This is made possible by the small student body size of my campus + the fact that not many people are out and about anyways due to 'rona. Still, it's incredible how hard this baseline "rule" is to maintain. I have about a 75% success rate with just saying hi (that is to say, 1/4 of the time I freeze up and say nothing). Sometimes, people shuffle by me looking busy and I can't muster the strength to project my voice at them because I'm afraid of "bothering" them. Anyhoo, the small talk only happens if I get a receptive greeting back. Some people bluntly say hi or grunt, to which I just smile (under my mask lol) and move on. If I feel that their energy is higher or more open, I'll follow up by asking their name, what they're up to, or making a stupid comment about my day, etc. I generally consider myself super charismatic once I've gathered momentum. The hardest part for me is step #1 of putting my foot through the door. The second hardest part after that is logistically following up (which is what I'm asking about here). Sometimes I'll exchange amazing energy with someone, get their name, crack some jokes, and end with a positive "cya around" only for no meaningful connection to have happened at the end of the day. It's like I know 1% of everybody, but I'd rather like to get to know 90%+ of a handful of people instead. Do I just stay patient and wait for it to happen organically, or is there some leadership aspect that I'm missing? I am also afraid of hyper-focusing on one person and really pursuing them with intentions to get to know them. That again feels like I'm being a "bother." All my life I've had people come to me and I think I'm trying to uphold that vibe but it's simply inconsistent. Is it up to me to pursue even further? Any way to frame this such that I'm not a "bother?"

I agree with Origins. Depends entirely on the Quality of woman. If she's 100/10 with intimacy, a whole army of women wouldn't even compare

They'd pass you in a heartbeat. This can work IRL if you do it with confidence + a smile, but dating apps are a totally different atmosphere.