RendHeaven

I actually saw that video too, it was very interesting because I couldn't help but have a feeling of understanding like "ooooh of course he did what he did..." Not saying that I agree with what he did, but he's very clearly wounded and it's nice to see that he's human. Mainstream media, on the other hand, insists he's a devil and that he was evil. Most people don't seem to understand that he's literally no different than them. It's actually ironic/cool that "global news" published the footage showing his human side.

Man I really want to meet some of you people in real life just to have a real chat. Stuff like this is what I get really absorbed by, I find too many of my conversations these days to be too shallow. @Leo Gura How bout that tour tho

I agree with your premise that avoiding porn can fall on any color of the spectrum, but JP certainly isn't approaching it from a turquoise perspective. He believes in MORALS and RESPONSIBILITY which are great within a certain context, but JP lets those things run his life. He's against all the rules that don't serve him, but he clings to the rules that do serve him. His new book? 12 rules for life. Lol. So much for freedom... no, he's definitely a fan of restraints but what he does is he chooses very carefully what he believes to be the RIGHT restraints. In a dualistic world, that works wonderfully handy dandy. But it doesn't serve Truth. If you're on a spiritual journey, that's a big no-no.

Oi at least give him 7 lines bro

Whatcha gonna coach about?

Your mouth should remain open, how else will you eat spicy noodles BEN DEEN!?

Definitely do the damn practice. I'm not Leo but I'm a young person myself so I have DIRECT EXPERIENCE. I've been following Leo all throughout highschool, and I believe I've intellectually or conceptually grasped everything he's talked about (to this day I feel completely on board listening to his newest uploads) but one thing I never actually did was to fucking sit down in silence. I just always found a way to read more books or watch more videos... gathering theory in some form. Only now I see that it was all a fucking distraction, the theory doesn't mean anything without the practice, and if anything I've turned actualized.org into a belief. Bad! It's actually brilliantly stupid, here I am nodding my head when he talks about erasing your identity but meanwhile I'm constructing an identity about being spiritually inquisitive... Currently (in college) I'm trying to untangle my belief system again and this time I'm prioritizing the act of doing nothing

Almost all colleges are a blend of blue, orange and green by definition ESPECIALLY in the west (I'm tempted to say ALL COLLEGES but I will just say "almost all" for now because there's no way for me to know for sure). The whole idea of rising in spiral dynamics stages is that your relative levels of consciousness are also rising. A stage yellow person sees more of the deep sameness in everything than a stage orange person, for example. Everyone in the west is so damn paradigm locked into duality that even people on this forum who've been exposed to nonduality struggle to realize it. People who've never heard of it (almost everyone you'll ever meet), therefore, have almost NO CHANCE at even realizing that they've locked themselves into falsehood. No matter what college you go to, the dualistic paradigm will be assumed and unchallenged. No matter what college you go to, consciousness will be assumed to be a byproduct of the brain, that we are our bodies, that we are born and that we die. Self development or self actualization will never be prioritized, being a functional member of society will always be number one. And as we've discussed, society these days is absolutely blinded to self development... so training yourself to be a good society member might be the exact opposite of what you want as a Truth seeker...

I would say he's programming his fans with orange mentality which is why his message resonates so much with a lot of people these days (in our predominantly orange culture). Of course there are blue elements here and there but I wouldn't say he's programming his fans with blue If anything, he's vehemently against blue seeing how he cockrides "the individual" so much haha - pure orange!

You're my favorite person on this forum ahaha

lol I love this guy

lol

I know people have already said this, but I just want to emphasize that you can 100% find FREE pdfs of these books online. Just type in the title of the book and the author followed by "pdf" in the google search bar. Usually it's the first link that pops up. I have read dozens of self help books this way, saves TONS of money. The only benefit to buying the real book would be 1) to support the author and 2) to reduce stress on your eyes (the latter especially, because I personally spend a little too much time looking at a screen, so it doesn't help that reading for me also uses screens).

You can also deeply fall in love with someone you wouldn't have even considered attractive at first. This can fuck with you if you really think about it, this means that you can potentially end up with literally anybody so long as they are your preferred gender and they aren't completely repulsive to you. To some this may be obvious, but others might even deny it, like "no way I'd fall in love with someone unattractive" ...as if perceived attractiveness can't suddenly change overnight haha

Hey all, as of now I'm currently living in Chicago Illinois. As you may or may not know, there is a MASSIVE annual music festival going on right now called Lollapolooza, with all the hottest pop culture icons lining the streets putting on a show for literally half a million people. A huge portion of my friends are attending, and all of their social media is drowning in them taking videos of their experience. The majority of them seem to be having lots and lots of fun. Drinking and smoking seems to be standard here, while the crowd of thousands jump and scream to their favorite songs. Boy, it must be real mind numbing but perhaps that's part of the appeal Anyway, on to the main point, I'm sitting here at home looking at this and I can't help but feel VERY arrogant. I can tell that I have an instinctive sense of "hah, look at them wasting away their lives, numbing their brains, getting wasted and actively devolving as a mob with no purpose." I can sense that I feel better than them and that to a certain degree I pity them. I believe that they are all suffering and this whole party culture is glorified escapism... the last thing anyone needs. Of course, stuff like this happens on a smaller scale all the time (going out with the boys/girls, etc.) but the fact that this is a cultural phenomenon where I live is what's really getting to me. People are excited to do this. They're looking forward to it and it's encouraged. Now for the juicy stuff... recently my point of focus whenever I am contemplating is "how am I full of shit?" This is particularly powerful because you are able to dig up things you've never known about yourself before. For example, just recently I discovered that I'm in this journey for my ego. I think that's somewhat obvious in retrospect, but the ramifications never hit me. To put it simply, I'm a validation whore. I'm such a validation whore that I pretend not to need validation (to the world and to myself) just so that when I get it, I come off as even better. I'm always competitive. I always want to be better. I realized that I'm not interested in enlightenment work for Truth's sake, but rather for selfish reasons. I want to be able to say "I have the Truth!" Now I'm wondering if my judgement of Lollapolooza is full of shit as well. I know through theory that all judgement is untenable, that on a nondualistic scale it's just me pointing fingers at myself and pretending there are boundaries. I'm also aware of some valid counterarguments, for example "hey man it's just one week of partying and letting go of stress and responsibility, there's no need to be so anal about it, there's no harm in having fun." Despite this, some part of me still feels (intuitively) that the path of contemplation and meditation is more rich and meaningful. I can't help but see how hollow this cultural party mentality is. I'm willing to hear thoughts on this, I'd be nice to hear different perspectives. Am I full of shit? Am I being arrogant and anal? Or are thousands of people really degenerating as I'm describing? Both? Neither? Or is the whole question meaningless? Thanks for reading

Knowing the rest of this forum, most people will tell you that he is what he is and that you should simply ~be aware~ because everything is ONE and there's no distinction between you and your dad!!1! (or they might just be like "fuck that guy") Since I have a similarly delusional, egotistical dad, I'll try to give more "practical" advice. Beware though that you most likely know the answer to your problems already. Rarely are you blown away by new insights here. Chances are, you come to this forum seeking empathy and to feel as if you aren't alone in your struggles. I do it all the time! Level 1 solution: Focus on yourself. If your dad is really draining you emotionally by being a butt, I suggest minimizing interaction with him. You absolutely CANNOT self actualize while you have an egoic maniac screeching at you from the side. Trust me. You just can't. Just imagine trying to see how ~everything is one~ while your dad is doing his usual shenanigans. Impossible. Put yourself together first, I'm assuming you're not perfect. Do the usual, eat healthy, work out, meditate, read a book or two. Sit by yourself and contemplate your predicament. When interacting with your dad, be polite but brief. Don't linger. Don't clash egos either. Talk to your mom. This one is huge. When one parent is a lunatic, it seems to be the case that the other parent generally will be more open to you because they feel the same helplessness. Little by little you'll grow stronger. Bond with your mother. Form something solid there so that the two of you at least have each other. Your dad may see this and change the way he treats you, or (more likely) he will just get more aggressive. If that happens, just cut him off more. Don't deal with his bullshit. This is the tactic I used while I was in high school, worked well for me. However, keep in mind that I had the luxury of not interacting with my dad that much because he worked rather late, and on the weekends I could just leave the house. Some people are more tied down in which case this advice wouldn't really work. Level 1,000,000 solution: Be a saint. Your dad is the way he is because he is hurt. Your dad is the way he is because he's sad but unable to cry for help. Your dad is the way he is because it's the only way in which he knows how to cry for help. Imagine every time he bursts out in anger, or makes an arrogant comment, that deep deep down, the angel in him is screaming out "someone, anyone PLEASE help me... love me...I feel so alone..." Then, imagine that these screams are muffled by a more twisted version of himself which just goes "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I DON'T NEED LOVE EVERYTHING IS FINE" and that steps all over the little angel in him and consequently possesses him. Just imagine, for a second, that that's his reality. If he were to ever sit still and deeply reflect, that is what he will find. I know this because I've been there!! (to a lesser extent) In my first relationship ever, I became highly controlling, angry, manipulative. Granted, I didn't know what I was doing, and I had a serious case of jealously, but regardless, the way I acted was exactly as you describe. What did I really want? Love. It's that simple. That's all I ever wanted from my girlfriend, but of course I was too prideful to say "I feel unloved." Rather, I would burst out in anger, or make her feel like she did something wrong all the while NOT SAYING THAT I FEEL UNLOVED. Dear god I swear this is the key to all angry men, lol. If you are able to, it would serve you really well for the rest of your life if you interpret every outburst by a male as "I feel unloved, please love me." Now, that doesn't mean you just love him and that's that. It's way more complicated. But If you are going to take this alternate solution here then the first step is to acknowledge that he is hurt and that he is crying for help and love. OF COURSE he will make it seem like love is the last thing he wants. In fact, I bet if you asked him he would say love is completely unnecessary. That being said, step into his shoes for 2 seconds. When do you think is the last time he heard the words "I love you." When do you think is the last time he felt deeply respected or worthwhile? If he's in his 50s, it might even be decades, in which case it's really no surprise that he is the way he is. Tell him you love him. But really mean it. Find something, anything about him that's remotely lovable. For me, it happened during a fight I had with my dad where I straight up told my dad that "hey, I feel unloved right now and I've always felt that way too." I didn't say it aggressively, I didn't say it to spite him, I just said it the way I really felt. Immediately, his character changed and he said (probably for the first time ever, really) that he loves me. Then we both cried. Lol. After that, my dad didn't really change that much but I could distinctly see his vulnerable side and that he really does have a heart. At least I could love that. He would still run around being a complete dickhead, but at least he was human and not some sort of caricature. I haven't fully embodied this advice myself, but the "be a saint" method simply involves realizing his suffering, realizing his needs, seeing though his bullshit and finding a way to love him. If you REALLY love him, then he will have no choice but to love you back. NO SHIT when you point out that he needs to self reflect, he gets upset. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR. HE WANTS TO HEAR "I LOVE YOU." Does this mean you hide your resentment and pretend it's all hearts and rainbows? No. If he's being a piece of shit, politely tell him so. But you have to find that love one way or another or this issue will NEVER resolve itself. Here's something to try... "Hey dad, you really need to self reflect more ...but I love you either way" In the end, you can really do whatever you want. The first solution is much easier and it's much more practical (in the short term). If you're at spiral dynamics stage orange you can easily pull it off. However, it's more or less a band aid. On his death bed, your dad will be bitter and most likely you will harbor resentment for him to his dying breath. The second solution is the real solution. If you can pull it off, your dad just might die with something to smile about. It's a MASSIVE burden on you, however. He will throw all the shit in the world at you and you will have to interpret all of it as "Help! Please love me!" That isn't easy. For now, I suggest you try the first solution, but keep the second one in the back of your mind. Good luck!

BUT LEOOOO

@Emerald Hmm you know that's interesting, I would actually say no to all those questions. I've stopped caring about the opinions of other people quite awhile ago, if some guy is looking down on me from afar, more power to him haha. That's assuming I even went to a music festival. I don't stay away from them because "fun is bad" or because I somehow have to be a cut above the crowd. Rather, I simply don't like pop music! You're much more likely to catch me at a concert hall listening to a symphony That being said, you could still apply the same line of questioning there, for example how would I feel if I knew that there were people out there actively disdaining me for going to a concert hall? Well, in that case I still wouldn't care haha. Really. People bullied me in middle school for listening to classical, and for about a month I remember listening to only the newest hit songs to fit in. It was like selling my soul. I've tried fitting in for the sake of validation (many times) and every time I learn that it's not worth it. At this point, the activities that run my life are done for my own sake. When I "judge" people for partying, it's not that I cannot bear to see myself in that position. I would party my ass off if that were appealing to me...trust me. I'm very spontaneous and emotionally driven. But I genuinely don't find partying interesting. I've done it, self reflected, and seen that I feel hollow when it's all over. So I don't think my judgement is your standard defense mechanism, it's a lot more subtle. It's not even a thought. It's an almost undetectable pride, I suppose, which just makes me feel superior when I see "low consciousness" activity around me. Just yesterday for example I decided to go out to the lake to meditate, and then this group of young men sat down a few feet away from me and started blasting rap music and smoking pot. Instantly, (it wasn't even a thought, more of a sensation) I began feeling superior. Almost like "hah they have to intoxicate themselves to quiet their minds... I don't need that! Listen to the lyrics in that song... it's all about 'bitches and money.' Poor kids, I hope they realize there's more to life..." (that's what the sensation felt like, that wasn't the actual dialogue in my mind). Sometimes this feeling of superiority is so subtle that I don't even notice it. I've only recently started to notice it. If I'm even more honest, it feels good. But surely, infinity must feel better At this point, what else can I do but observe?

@Nahm Ahaha my thoughts exactly

Just watched this youtube video featuring 3 people that are very very, intelligent. They discuss nihilism, but of course from a dualistic perspective. Many, many times they border on the possibility that all of reality is groundless, but that's never really explored... Well ya can't blame them, the only way to explore it is by drowning in silence Just as a disclaimer, I'm not trying to discredit these guys at all. I just found it fascinating that you could intellectually reach the edges of duality but nevertheless end up trapped. I suggest you check out more of Cosmicskeptic's stuff, though he is fundamentally one of those "Atheist channels" that seem to run contradictory to most of the stuff we do here at Actualized.org, the guy really does try hard to push his boundaries and you can see him questioning a lot of things including himself.

@Emerald Wonderful response! I hadn't even thought of that but if I'm really honest that motive was definitely there. Looks like there's a lot more to the question of how I'm full of shit "If your heart is heavier than a feather, you will not pass." This really hit me hard. Did you come up with that? To be clear though, I really was curious to know if these feelings were "ok" or not. I'm glad we got various perspectives here. To everyone else, I do want to clarify that I'm not actively sitting around brooding about how "bad" these people are, nor do I call them out for anything. No need to crusade. More simply, I'm noticing that these judgements arise, and I'm asking if that's justified. Part of me thinks it's better to just ask these questions of myself, and that the forum may just be a distraction (or even a validation trap!!) but I'm really glad I posted. Thanks guys.

Hi all, Very recently I've begun to have many dreams of a similar nature. These dreams usually start out normally (I, as a self, am doing whatever... and of course I have an agenda of some sort) but then somewhere along the dream I start to question what's occurring and after some (seemingly) deep introspection, I realize I cannot exist. Not logically, even, but more or less instinctively, I just get hit with this immediate, overwhelming sense of "holy shit I am everything and nothing at once, and everything I used to think was false." This realization is followed by a mix of intense pleasure and horror, pleasure at the freedom I now have but horror at how wrong my entire life has been. I then proceed to continue doing whatever the fuck I was doing in this dream except this new "filter" of "I am nothing and everything" persists, all events seem to be a joke (for example last night in my dream I was back in high school and everything as serious... then this "enlightenment" thing happened and the setting didn't change but suddenly everything was so utterly meaningless but beautiful I was just enjoying the ride really as opposed to worrying about my surroundings). Let me stress how overwhelming it feels, by the way. It's completely mind-shattering, no words to describe it, all my senses are overwhelmed by chills/tingles, and I feel like crying. What's especially interesting is that with this revelation I begin questioning "is this real?" "what if this is a dream?" I'm a very vivid dreamer so I always have trouble figuring out if I'm in a dream or not, but at least last night when I had this "enlightenment" experience in my dream I asked this of myself and the answer was "what's the difference?" Well, I ended up waking up and the difference is night and day lol. Here I am back as my self and for all that the little dualistic me knows, everything I experienced was "just a dream," "just a fantasy in the ~brain~" (I'm still in the process of contemplating for myself if brains do or do not exist. I've been heavily indoctrinated by modern science, excuse me for not knowing ) Gosh, I hope universal intelligence is real. Perhaps this is myself telling myself to wake the fuck up? How cool would that be.

That's a good point. In the moment it's all shits and giggles but I guarantee you that the vast majority of those people are unable to sit quietly in a room by themselves and be content. That shit haunts you eventually, you know. You'll grow old and solitude will catch up to you... it's a matter of when you face it, not if. I think going out and partying once in a while isn't bad per se, but when it's culturally encouraged that's when I start to feel pity. Have you seen Leo's video titled "30 ways society fucks you up the ass?" He talks about how a lot of our daily life is "an amusement park for the ego." Realizing nonduality is so bloody hard to begin with, the way people party like there's nothing better to do is just insult to injury. I've tried talking to my friends about this stuff you know, all they do is go out all the time and it seems they will continue to do that haha more power to them I suppose?

@starsofclay Glad I'm not the only one! I think that's part of why I posted, I wanted some sort of reassurance I suppose. At this point I guess all we can do is keep trying for the real deal, and the dreams may or may not come. What's SO curious is that while you're in the dream, there is no difference between that and "physical reality," but of course the second you wake up the boundaries are set in stone. Maybe I'm just too unconscious haha I should do some shrooms.

You're analyzing and structuring unnecessarily. When you are contemplating, you are concerned with being... simply the fact that whatever you are questioning exists to begin with. Traps would be to try and see HOW or WHY they exist. For example, with meaning, I assume you tried to answer for yourself WHY it exists and that led to you trying to pull up evidence/theory. At that point you've lost the essence of the question. Rather, recenter yourself on simply the idea that it exists. Ask yourself if meaning is real or not. That's the first (and last) step. Bring up concrete examples of meaning existing (maybe you might think of all the meanings that arise within you in reaction to certain events). Well, then you would conclude that yes it exists but what exactly is it? These should be your points of focus: 1) Is it real? 2) What exactly is it? Is it a compilation of emotions or something else? Does it only arise in reaction to events or can you conjure it on a whim? Does it exist without the presence of humans or is it a human construction? Is it tangible in the "physical realm?" If not, does it really exist? Is there universal meaning? What's the opposite of meaning? Finally, when you've gone through enough examples, tackle the big question "is it real?" Well here's a spoiler, you won't ever come to an answer because real/unreal is ultimately the same thing. Maybe you can contemplate that too