Leo Gura

Great example of stage Blue. Might want to post a vid of that in the Blue Mega-Thread.

Have you considered that your depression is actually a disconnection from being and consciousness? Your pursuit of sober, practical reality is what makes you depressed, because survival is fundamentally hollow and unsatisfying. You are a hamster in a wheel.

Definitely more philosophical. This is the branch of philosophy known as epistemology. It tries to answer the question: How do we know anything at all? Psychology doesn't go as deep. But also philosophy tends to do a lot of mental masturbation on this topic. Learning to accurately distinguish truth from falsehood is the most challenging endeavor the human mind can undertake because it is the linchpin which holds together reality. If you fully understood it, your entire sense of physical reality would collapse and you would experience "death". So very few people accurate get that far. You are not going to reach Truth via university studies. Truth is far too radical for that.

Of course femininity is a division within yourself that you created, so you could be masculine.

@LoveandPurpose You'll have to discover that for yourself. I don't know you. You can enter "undecided" and sample a bit of the courses from each department.

Some perspectives are deeply false and many are partially true. Few perspectives are all-true. Yes, mostly things are very messy and complex. No, there's no simple one true perspective in capitalism.

See my videos: How To Develop Big Picture Understanding And How To Discover What Is True

Oh, that's easy. By holding many contradictory perspectives at once with an open mind. There is a metaphysics and epistemology section. But you will probably find such books too impractical. It seems you want ready-made answers rather than genuine inquiry.

There are ways to be less ignorant about capitalism and relative things. Not many good ones. You can find a few on my book list. I'm working to correct that. Then you should be eager to read, learn, research, and contemplate stuff. Be open ended. You don't know what you'll discover. Good. But not nearly enough. Not-knowing is not just about admitting it, it's a whole lifestyle and state of mind. Try sitting for 5 minutes and just basking in I-don't-knowness.

You can't know that ahead of time! That's the point. You are asking for an epistemic foundation. The nature of reality is intimately tied with everything else so it should to be avoided here. If you admit you don't know, you might be motivated to read some books on capitalism. Yes, it takes work. You want a shortcut. And I am trying to show you that a shortcut here is a mistake. There is no shortcut for learning to distinguish truth from falsehood. The nature of reality is entangled with how you think about reality and with your survival. If these things were seperate, everything would be easy.

@LoveandPurpose But you are asking for a foundation. Do you want a foundating grounded in truth or falsehood? If truth, then your foundation must be not-knowing because that is most true for you. You do not know how to distinguish truth from falsehood. But if you want a foundation grounded in falsehood, then proceed as you were. I am not speaking of the Absolute here. I am speaking very practically. You do not know how to distinguish truth from falsehood even in the relative domain. For example, you do not even know if the Earth is flat. This has serious implications in the relative domain. I am not even talking about the Absolute here. You are so far from the Absolute that it's nothing but a fantasy for you at this point. Notice that a lot of epistemic mistakes are made in relative domain. If you want a foundation, it's best that your foundation not be based on falsehood. No one can give you a foundation because how would you know what they gave you is true? A foundation can only be derived by yourself through personal inquiry and contemplation.

The I is everything and nothing. You can become the floor or the girl, but then "you" as an ego-mind would be dead. And you're terrified of that. So you don't go there unless absolutely forced. The ego I is just a function of survival. You are too busy surviving to surrender yourself.

It happens. Stay calm and carry on.

There cannot be such a thing because reality is groundless and all knowledge is circular, relative, and self-biased. Any foundation you adopt will be imaginary and itself subject to doubt. Go foundationless. Practice not-knowing. That will put you closest to Truth. "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there."

@karkaore Careful. 1 gram of pure harmala extract is A LOT. That will make the DMT super potent.

It should be effective after consuming harmala, which you're already doing.

@karkaore You can find pure harmala on eBay.

Not sure about that, never had PTSD. You should be able to handle MDMA solo. The only psychedelic you shouldn't be doing solo is salvia. The rest are mostly handle-able at moderate doses. Of course your results may vary. Some people have poor self-control.

Are you using pure harmala extract? Or actual syrian rue seeds? Make sure your extract is potent. Otherwise you'll need more of it. Also I've read this technique doesn't always activate. People suggest mixing the DMT with Cola and also eating some carbs like bread or apples immediately after consuming it to help with activation. Be careful. This combo can make for some long and powerful trips. Start low. You might also consider plugging the DMT rather than eating it.

That's not the point. Plugging is different kind of trip. 5 minutes of DMT ain't gonna do much for ya.

I assume so, but haven't tried it yet. I want to try plugging MAOI. 100mg harmala extract + 50 to 100mg DMT. It should work but must be proven.

I've tried several times and it did not work. Not sure why. It might require a very large dose.

You are creating a self-fulling prophecy. It doesn't have to be hell. Why you keep insisting on it?? Terrible idea. The whole point is to face the Truth sober. If you have to dull yourself to face Truth, you ain't ready for it. You're not really facing it.

There is no observer. What "you" "feel" there is ego clinging for survival. Self is imaginary. Look at a rock. Does it have a self? No. Neither does a body. Who is observing the rock? No one. A rock just is. Same goes for the body.

Self-actualizing, reiki, astrology, growth, etc is not awakening.