Alpaca Factory Daily Attendance LogBook

[Buck Edwards]

Breakfast lunch dinner.

[Buck Edwards]

Early morning attendance  log in - 6:30 am

Evening attendance log out time - 7:00 pm

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I also want to be a performing artist. 

I will find this work related to artwork. 

[Buck Edwards]

Falling in love is a tricky thing. Isn't it. 

[Buck Edwards]

I surrendered my soul to someone who was extremely hurtful. 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

 

On 05/03/2024 at 10:20 PM, Buck Edwards said:

Wherever you are, think of your dreams
Oh please, remember life ain't always what it seems
For each rainy day (rainy day)
That comes your way
The sun will come shining and you'll be okay
Keep on smiling, every girl and boy
Remember when you were children you had toys
Wherever you are, think of your dreams
Remember that dreams become the life you lead

              

Don’t you hate it when you sleep for eight hours

and still can’t get out of bed.

still tired and wanting to sink in that bed.

yet others live off two or three hours of sleep

and feel fine the next day.

In the factory I was working beside

a guy who said he had a great sleep yet

couldn’t stop passing out on the line.

he told me years ago he almost died right here

from OD’ing on opiates.

Now he was dying right in front of me from tiredness.

I had two hours of sleep.

felt alright.

Soon got a headache, and the black under my eyes was still there

but I was feeling alright.

                  

Tiredness,
The slow drag of life walking by.
This all ending never beginning,
Time after time.
No gumption or motion,
To bring forth arising devotion.
To perspire and prepare for the upcoming road ahead,
No energy left.
Feeling dead,
So tired and exhausted.
Rather stay in bed.

                       

Why does my body
rebel against my wishes
to walk or to talk
to tidy my house
to wander the world
or work?
Do I really need to sleep
to dive so deep
beneath the waves
of the day
to  run so far away

                             

 

 

 

On 05/03/2024 at 10:23 PM, Buck Edwards said:

 

                  

I am tired of my rants
like a millions hammers
pounding away in my brain
constant chatter drowns sanity
expectations love and affection
comfort insecurities and misadventures
regrets lost and found
a million lives not lived
what could be and what is
hauntings and remembrances
shadows looming large on today
today that is not perfect
perfection that is just in mind
mind on verge of lunacy
constant screams drowned
in the agonizing void
void that is my life

                    

If you ask me how I am doing
I will always reply,
"I am tired".
Every breath I take wastes the energy
I don't have.

I wake up in the mornings
With imaginary chains pulling me down
Into a comfortable wave of blankets,
Demanding I stay for a little while longer.

My eyelids don't get any heavier,
They get lonely.

They spend their nights kissing my cheeks,
And during the days they only get swift visits.

So I stay in my bed as long as I can to make them happy.
As the world goes on,
And I am here,
We seem to forget about each other,
And that makes me happy.

The anxiety they give me is being washed away
By the softness that surrounds me,
And I am not tired.

I am not wasting my energy on
Fake smiles,
Or talking
To people who don't know what is actually going on in my mind.

I stay in bed as long I can.
I was lonely anyways,
Atleast this way I can insure
A part of me
Would never be.

                 

 

Why does my body
rebel against my wishes
to walk or to talk
to tidy my house
to wander the world
or work?
Do I really need to sleep
to dive so deep
beneath the waves
of the day
to  run so far away

                         

 

Oh, Sleepless Night

 

Oh sleepless night

What a trick on me you play!

For the reason I cannot sleep

Is because I anticipate the day

 

We build our day up

To have it elapse at night

But how too often a time I experience

A continuance through the night

 

Oh how unfair to me you see

For nighttime is a break much overlooked

Because I walk through the day quite sleepily

Which is difficult in a day so overbooked

 

Sleeping figures

Rejuvenating minds

Your mind is cultivating in peace

While my face is forming lines

 

Oh how I wish I didn’t get so worked up

I expected this to happen

Which ironically is the reason

My tiredness has been dampened

 

I lay in bed, ready

Ready to try this out

A pleasant sleep is all I wanted

Without completely passing out

 

How I get so jealous when

You lay there and drift to rest

While I’m dealing with two polar issues--

Either abruptly collapse into sleep or else from it slowly digress

 

Oh sleepless night, you tease me so

You fool with me and upset me so

For when thinking of tomorrow I surely know

I’m not going to be as lively as my potential.

 

 

So let’s face it, tomorrow I’ll be miserable

And I’ll look forward to when the clock strikes night

But then the hours I have will become considerable

So I’ll lay there restlessly and drift away just before the light.

So I’ll get a taste of what sleeps like

But I’ll never get to experience it right.

Oh you cruel, mean sleepless night!

Where dwells your brother so known as the “Goodnight”?

https://www.prophet666.com/2013/04/hindu-mantra-to-destroy-evil-2.html?m=1

 

 

 

 

On 06/03/2024 at 4:01 AM, Buck Edwards said:

 

I've been feeling a bit dull now. No idea why. Been trying to work through things. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

On 06/03/2024 at 4:13 AM, Buck Edwards said:

I've been feeling a bit dull now. No idea why. Been trying to work through things. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 06/03/2024 at 4:27 AM, Buck Edwards said:

 

 

 

 

On 06/03/2024 at 1:12 PM, Buck Edwards said:

Maybe I'll need a mental health evaluation. 

 

On 07/03/2024 at 5:09 AM, Buck Edwards said:

I haven't been keeping well. And there's a lot to keep doing.. I have lots of things lined up. I'm doing a ton of self exploration too.. I'm realizing that spirituality can also be a transference of energy. 

ht/parad-shivling.gif

 

 

                          

 

I need to finish Alpaca Factory work. Today's schedule is jam packed. 

Scheduling/Overhauling - 

N Carolina. Current. 8¦15pm.

 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

 

On 09/03/2024 at 5:05 AM, Buck Edwards said:

I barely slept. 

Scheduling/Overhauling - 

 

N Carolina. Current. 6¦35 pm

 

Friday, 8 March 2024

 

 

 

On 09/03/2024 at 5:06 AM, Buck Edwards said:

8th March is Mahashivratri. Fasting begins. 

 

 

 

 I'm almost ill already. I'll sip water. 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

I barely slept. 

Scheduling/Overhauling - 

 

N Carolina. Current. 8¦51 am

 

Tuesday , 26 March 2024

 

Completed factory work. 

 

I'm looking forward to some spiritual healing stuff. Get back to business. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Evil is not the presence of something but rather the absence of something. 

Evil is the absence of trust, love, strength, kindness, humility, spirit, 

 

And so evil is self decaying and usually futile. 

Edited March 26 by Buck Edwards