Soulmate

[Buck Edwards]

Vijaya Ekadashi Pooja method and preparation. 

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

I want to be realistically oriented towards spirituality. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Happy Hanuman Jayanti. 

[Buck Edwards]

 

The light center the dark center 

The light intuition the dark intuition

The light instinct the dark instinct

The light energy the dark energy

The light worker the dark worker

The light source the dark source

The light body the dark body 

The light conscience the dark Conscience

The light consciousness the dark consciousness

The light knowledge the dark knowledge

The light medium the dark medium 

The light chakra the dark chakra 

The light force the dark force 

[Buck Edwards]

What's spirituality? 

It's the oneness of intent, meaning, goodness and wisdom. 

It's the groundedness. The abyss from which everything else arises, the primordial spirit. The oneness of everything. The Atmaan that is vishaal or expansive. When we meet this abyss we are fulfilled in this oneness. We become part of the whole. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Spiritual decompression mode. 

Competitive  mode. 

Emotional Psycho-sexual mode.

Material discipline mode/productivity mode/cognitive mode/Somatic mode

Healing mode. 

Discernment mode.

Spiritual Intuitive Mode.

[Buck Edwards]

What's dark energy though? 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Off to another planet. 

[Buck Edwards]

And my Guru taught me privately "moon Hatha Asana sequence" that's where I learnt Gyatri Mantra where she played it ona her computer ofa the interweb at sivassana. 

[Buck Edwards]

I took 5 hawaiian babywoodrose seeds. Crushed it to powder. Soaked in lemon juice. And than drank it. Hawaiian Babywoodrose Seeds, as fresh as possible. I basically took a light dose and I want to slowly up from there.

Procedure remains rhe same.. This is an older entry. Last week I tried morning glory seeds. Same procedure as usual. I can use Sherry wine for the tek. Or lemon juice sometimes. Although morng glory seeds are much milder in comparison to baby woodrose ones. 

[Buck Edwards]

I don't know why this picture reminded me of something deeper spirutually. 

 

 

I told my guru about groundedness earlier. 

The picture resembles the feeling of meeting something beyond oneself, becoming one with the waters. 

[Buck Edwards]

It was surreal like waves crashing against the shore. I was in the middle of the trip. Morning seeds. 

It was hallucinogenic. Mildly. I saw bright visuals. I soaked the seeds first. It won't be wise to say how many seeds. You would need half an ounce. I used half of that. I didn't count. First soaked the seeds kn water and then crushed. And took it. It was a bit mooshy mooshy  ya know. Gulped it. I had a gagging sensation. K wanted to throw up. I controlled myself for a bit longer. Oh boy. The middle of the trip. Wiyhijn minutes I should say. Within minutes I should say. I know the word surreal was repeating through my head. I got drunk earlier and I remember being hungry. And angry. Then I hada salmon and a few drinks. 

This was today. But then it was the trip. I felt like I was transported to a different world. Like my physical world had changed..... A wee bit. 

Yhen the words surreal truthseeker surreal truthseeker appeared out of nowhere. No nightmares. I did experience nausea.. It was a pleasant trip. I closed my eyes and saw visuals. But no motivation. 

I don't understand why the word surreal kept repeating throughout the trip. I wasn't expecting anything surreal.

I laughed a lot during the middle of the trip. Oops. 

Whatever Leo said perfectly resonated with me. Mental illness is like a bad psychedelic trip that lasts forever. 

Psychedelics is like a bad psychological trip that lasts forever. 

 

Hmm

That's a big mindfuck man right there. 

Psychedelics is like a bad psychological trip that lasts forever. 

 

How is that? Hippy trippy dippy dopey. 

During the trip oooooooh. I felt like the upper space above me opened up. Yea that was surreal. Like a different dimension. I could see consciousness as patterns, in patterns, in lanterns.. I swear. 

Eternal suffering eternal suffering eternal suffering eternal suffering. We do what we want. We do what we want. Eternal suffering eternal suffering eternal suffering. We do what we want. Eternal suffering eternal suffering eternal suffering eternal suffering we do what we want we do what we want. 

And then I felt like an idiot. Coz nothing has any value . Control control control. Everything is meaningless. Oh God. I closed my eyes. Everything was wobbly. I closed my eyes. Now surreal. Truthseeler. 

I could not beer the thought of anything negative, not even in the slightest. Gross. No. Everything had to be laughter and joy. 

 

Nothing to harm me during a trip. Nothing to harm me during a trip. Nothing to harm me during a trip. Nothing to harm me during a trip. Nothing to harm me during a trip. Nothing to harm me during a trip. It felt like a mantra running through my head. 

 

Edited yesterday at 01:38 PM by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

There were no insights per se. Just snippets... Oh wait. Just 

[Buck Edwards]

There were no insights per se. Just snippets... Oh wait. No sobriquet, no epithets

Just snippets, oh God. Snippets were everything. Everyday. Just snippets. It was a great trip. That was the only insight. Snippets. 

[Buck Edwards]

I had my second morning glory trip. I'm still wary of something like 5Meo or salvia. I felt something opening above me. It was a cool trip with some insights, nothing strong, just something sprinkled here and there on my mental landscape, surely made me a bit creative, amped me up a bit. Overall good experience. Now I finally understand the significance of psychedelics. It's cool, insightful, shifts in awareness too. Can bend reality, sort of a mindfuck but cooler. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One cool insight was that I have to jack myself up, jack myself up. Lil by lil. 

 

 

Edited yesterday at 02:08 PM by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

What is efficacy - the ability to accomplish something or anything. 

Mental clarity - the ability to self reflect and gain perspective over a situation. 

God is both efficacy and Clarity. Efficacy is light. Clarity is dark. Why is it dark? 

Clarity requires looking inwards into the self, the self is like a huge pumpkin that is empty from inside. So when you look inside the pumpkin, you see only darkness, a dark space. You can illuminate this space. Yet it's dark. As there is very little space for light to get in, the inside appears dark. It's just the absence of light reflection. That's why I call it the dark intuition. It's not clear. Just like dark space. This intuition is like internal navigation. Internal reflection. Internal awareness. Internal self inquiry. Deep deep self awareness. Internal compass. 

The other is the other self. God is the other self. God is Brahman. Our self is the Atmaan. Atmaan meets Brahman. This is consciousness. The other. The self meets the other at crossroads. 

Meeting God is meeting the other self. 

God is light. 

Light intuition is through efficacy, dark intuition is through clarity. You have to cultivate both spaces. You have to cultivate the inner as well as outer space. 

Meeting God is meeting consciousness. 

The light and the dark. Dark does not mean evil. 

What is evil (anything destructive)? 

Evil is vaccum. Everything outside the sphere of inner and outer self, the soul and the brahman is worthless and evil because it's empty of meaning. Anything empty of meaning is evil. Why? Because evil is meaningless. Have you ever found meaning in evil? That's because evil is meaningless. There is only inner self (atmaan) and the outer self (brahman or consciousness or God). When you merge with God, you become One. Everything is one. It's like an abyss. When you become a part of the One, you become nothing. It's like a drop that meets the ocean. Once it's in the ocean, you cannot differentiate it. 

 

If something does not motivate you or assist you in cultivating either the inner space or the outer space, it's just garbage. It's rubbish. Don't pay attention to it. Whether it's sports, people or any distraction, it's all garbage. You're practically stunted when you have neither  inner growth nor  outer growth. 

Cultivating the outer space is much easier. Just do the silent prayer. The prayer of presence, of oneness with nature. Cultivating the inner space is a challenge. How do we do it? You have to do self inquiry, deep self reflection, positive inner talk or positive self talk. Increase self awareness. Just reminding myself this - 

If something does not motivate you or assist you in cultivating either the inner space or the outer space, its just garbage. It's rubbish.

 

Cultivating inner space is connection with Atmaan. Connecting with your unique self and soul. Your own unique mental and spiritual signature. 

 

Feel that inner vibration. 

• Self awareness 
• Self expression 
• Self exploration 
• Self inquiry 
• Guided imagery meditation 
• Visualization 
• Self instrospection 
• Inner monologue 
• Self reflection 
• Deeper inner self awareness 
• Feel the inner vibration. Shut down all noise 
• Contemplation 
• Self insight /instinct 
• Look for inner dialogue or inner guidance
• Sleep like lucid state 

 

Only you inside an empty church or hallway. 

Your inner essence is pure love. Your pure essence. Your true self. Whatever resonates with pure love is true. Whatever doesn't needs to be discarded. 

 

 

Insight, intuition and instinct. Insight comes through or via contemplation. 

Intuition is a thought or a message. Instinct is a vibe. 

It's important to focus on the energy to sense a vibe. 

So we have vibe, message and feeling. 

Feeling. Sensing. Message.. 

Feeling is instinct. 

Sensing energy is instinct. 

Message is intuition. 

Vibration is a message. 

So energy and vibration make sense? 

Focus on the energy. Focus on the vibration. This way you energize the inner space with both instinct and intuition. This is what we mean by developing the inner space. 

 

 

My main spiritual work from now on will focus on 

• Honing intuition 
• Instinct 
• Self awareness 
• Contemplations 
• Energy and Vibration 
• Inner Guidance 
• Prayer and meditations
• Cutting out unnecessary bullshit 
• Shiva Shaktipat 

 

Edited 20 hours ago by Buck Edwards