My ever changing Awareness

[Keryo Koffa]

I've been trapped in Materialism, Obligation Thinking, Attachment and my own Zero-Sum Game for the longest time.

My psychedelic trips taught me the arbitrariness of attachment, habit, desire and the value of the ability to let go of ego.

My ego barrier is encompassing ever more, psychedelics unlock my emotions, love, senses, qualia and awareness.

But truly, it just shifts my state and shows me that which is already part of me, I just need to witness it to build a link.

So then I can access those states through focus, desire and understanding.

But desiring is still an act of ego, yet I desire for my senses and qualia to sharpen until I can see the space between atoms.

I leave 2 weeks to integrate and try to adapt naturally, learn to live with heightened awarenss and manifest it.

At this point, I'm conviced that control over oneself is but a matter of building associations and bridges through focus.

I'm in love with the world, myself and others. But I'm not egoless. My current ego is exploration and alienation.

I seek to sharpen and expand senses/qualia. Do you know any metods outside of psychedelics or unique ways of letting go?

[Keryo Koffa]

Intuition is looking in between the gaps and realizing the change.

Math for example is the intuition of moving from a number to another or the navigation of many and forming patterns and equations, Infinity is an Intuition of endlessness. Math is the description of change in values.

I have had many psychedelic trips now, I realize many patterns. In my own behavior, what I learned, being stressed, letting go, their effects.

I intuit limitless potential in myself, the ability to realize and connect to whatever I imagine, to draw with ever less steps, for my creativity to connect ever more dots. For my awareness to increase. In short:

Sense Expansion, Control over Body, Emotional Depth, Ever Less Preferences, Ever More Awareness.

Rules become guides become delusion, there is only being, if I will it, I can be it, straightforwardness, whatever I imagine, that's the state of my knowledge, no rationalizing, no doubting, just being.

I can progress at massive speeds, lightyears faster than before, but that's not the important part. Speed is relative to fulfilling one's desire. Learning of the nature of desire, that's wisdom. All desires are a mind game. There will be infinitely many in infinitely arbitrary forms, just to occupy one's mind and prevent one from happiness. That's the only thing that matters, happiness, or contentment. The point is, anything ever done is for that purpose. But desires will come, as long as we are alive and an ego, and they are beutiful but can distract from love and beauty. I wanna study and build brain-machine interfaces to expand my experience, I want to draw and animate art out of love. But in the end, everything is consciousness and if mine was high enough, once I expand my imagination enough through will or psychedelics, I can just dream and fulfill my desires, give them the tangebility that I struggle to at this point. And then, any action in reality will be to witness and experience and to make the world a better place, out of love and curiosity.