the show must go on - career in showbusiness

[at_anchor]

I don't know the specifics of how I want my life to proceed. I can't find the inner vision that is hidden because I'm blindfolded by society, family, my own fear and resentments. I can't find this vision by looking outside myself at what other people do or by following their directions. Some people do have a lot of power over me and the power they wield ober me could be final.

But I'd like to work in this world, to position myself in a safe spot. However that's impossible since I'm not German and can't go looking for work there thank's to people who wield power over me.

So I'm considering becoming a YouTuber even if the content I create won't pay my bills, I still want to work and make something good, to help certain people I love, to create videos that are good. I'm afraid I can't make good videos. I also don't know what my niche should be. Maybe a combo of teaching a language and basic personal development advice from some top 10 books I find here, then maybe one day i finally get to make videos with psychedelics, but who am I kodding here? That's never going to happen.

So I just wanted to post this, although at this point I don't think any more advice can be given because I find myself in an inescapable and dire situation in life.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

14 hours ago, at_anchor said:

That's never going to happen.

And why would it if this is what you believe? Start with what is holding you back right now. Like right now. What is holding you back from taking the necessary steps RIGHT FUCKING NOW?! And no bullshit! Don't lie to yourself! Think about it. Right NOW!

Edited October 21, 2023 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[Lila9]

I really encourage you to do that if this is what you want. 

The first videos may be not good but that's normal for 90% of the people, you will learn and improve over time, the most important thing is to make videos.

It's better to start with short and simple videos and gradually, as you gain more confidence to make them longer and more complex. 

22 hours ago, at_anchor said:

I'm afraid I can't make good videos. I also don't know what my niche should be. Maybe a combo of teaching a language and basic personal development advice from some top 10 books I find here, then maybe one day i finally get to make videos with psychedelics, but who am I kodding here? That's never going to happen.

Don't underestimate yourself, whatever subject it is, you always can make a research and work with notes in addition to your unique view on the world which is valuable . You don't have to be an expert or someone who is perfect to do all of this. It only requires you to have Internet, camera/microphone, and editing skills that you can easily aquire. You don't even have to use camera, you can use microphone only, there are many good videos on YT with people using their voice with various downloaded images/videos from the internet that are integrated in the video and realted to the subject, I love them!

Example: 

https://youtu.be/D27R0ZFIdM0?si=2LPHailWrlpFIAVc 

There are many other videos on YT, you always can take inspiration from them.

Don't let your negative thoughts to stop you, you may enjoy this creative process regardless the quality of the results. Do it mainly for the sake of creative expression and your enjoyment, it's super healing, you don't even have to upload it if you don't feel comfortable yet, you can experiment safely without publishing it.

 

[at_anchor]

8 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Like right now. What is holding you back from taking the necessary steps RIGHT FUCKING NOW?! And no bullshit! Don't lie to yourself! Think about it. Right NOW!

• I'm poisoned
• I lack equipment
• I am living with monsters who want to hurt me and destroy me so I'm insecure
• I haven't meditated in a very long time and I can't do it anywhere around here
• I lack a comfortable, clean, well set, warm room with all the equipment
• I'm untalented
• Soon someone else will do this to make me feel inferior or something and then I'll give up on it forever.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@at_anchor Notice that these are beliefs. You are being held by what you believe to be true about yourself. Also notice that following your passion is something that starts right now. You lack equipment? So what? Just start recording yourself on your phone, for yourself. It's like wanting to start a business. You need money for that. But don't turn that into an excuse of "Oh, there is nothing to do right now because I'm broke", because that's not true! There are a lot of skills that are relevant in creating a business that don't rely on money. You can watch YouTube videos and read tons of free information online. You can try to make connections and find like minded people who might help you once you actually have the money. Think about how many people want to create a business once they have the money for it, but once they do actually have the money they don't know what to do with it. Your beliefs are holding you back from taking the actions you must take right now in order to step closer to your goals. You already know what must be done right now. You just have to be honest with yourself. Chances are that you know what to do, you just don't understand what's keeping you from pursuing it. So sit down and confront that voice that tells you that you can't do it. And don't just nod your head at everything it says. Actually question it.

[at_anchor]

@DefinitelyNotARobot enough for today, i took notes, translated and made a video in the worst time possible and published it on insta. If i started in the past on YouTube it would have worked. 

Publishing on YouTube makes me feel ashamed for being so unwell I can't just memorize everything and say it.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@at_anchor That's a good start. Just keep doing it and you'll become more comfortable in front of the camera. Rewatch the videos and take notes on what you could've done better.