entangled

[at_anchor]

How much I wish I could read and understand ancient writings, renaissance literature, the enlightenment, idealism and so forth. 

I wish I could work, but something is dysfunctional with my body and environment. Yes, it is not clean, but that's not it. Yes, I ate lots of wheat flour and sugar and didn't exercise, so that might be it a bit. Yes, I have constipation and take the wrong psychiatric drugs, plus I get poisoned here often, proba ly gassed or infected by viruses on purpose, or maybe not. I can't believe that last part either, because I never saw anybody here gass me or poison me.

 

What can I do? Just sit in here on this site and get fat, sluggish and sick until I go insane?

I can't go to a library, it is far away and I don't have a transportation vehicle, nor do I have the confidence and I probably would not be able to work it there either. So something is obviously wrong now in my life. It is serious. I have to let go of my desires for health, education and safety and enlightenment and travel and finding my purpose.