Death realization

[manuel bon]

It's been a year now since I started my consciousness work, and I feel like I am slowly growing every day always learning something new about myself, how to live, how to do spirituality, and many more things. Along with many topics that I daily contemplate, there is often the one of Death that I never really stop thinking about.

Even before starting with spirituality I never really thought of death as a bad thing; then following @Leo Gura's teachings and contemplating everything he says, I understood that death is not a tragic event. But little I knew (and still know) how threatening it is to me (or better, to my Ego) to die.

I have never had an NDE or not even an Ego-Death / Ego-Dissolution with psychedelics or meditation/yoga. But in the last year, I had four powerful death realizations (if it is appropriate to call them that). The first one (I took a weed edible) was a year ago, and the other ones (while sober, one of them in a dream) happened in the past two months, and they were all basically the same. 

I was either lying down or sitting, and thinking/contemplating about Death, and then it just happened. I don't know how to describe it precisely, but it was like a visualization I had: a feeling of darkness and nothingness. It was like my Ego saw its own death; in the moment of the realization, I died, but not completely because I still had thoughts, and I felt really scared. Except for the last one, the one that I remember more vividly, which was a dream.

I was in a house with other people, we started seeing lightning striking and destroying buildings around us. In the beginning, I thought that nothing would happen to me, but then as more buildings were falling, I understood that I would have died. At that moment I saw my life stop right in front of me, and then darkness. I understood I finally died. I was not scared, and I remember thinking: "So this is what it feels like to die?". It was a feeling I know I have already felt, somehow, somewhere, sometime. Then I thought that if I am dead I am not supposed to have thoughts, then I woke up.

I don't know how to interpret these experiences, especially the dream. I am also quite fascinated by how strong my imagination/visualization could get, even by being sober. I would love to hear your opinion and ideas about it, and let me know if you ever had a similar experience (also without psychedelics).