My Journey To Quit Porn Until my 30th

[BlessedLion]

Porn has been a major issue for me, in fact, it is the only thing that really throws me off track and brings my vibration down. At 29, I have made incredible feats in my consciousness, habits, social skills, finances, and overall well-being. 

 

I want to "publicly" log my decision here to quit porn as i have struggled with it for so long and truly feel like it is the one thing that is holding me back more than anything else in my growth and happiness. 

 

In truth, i fucking love porn, i love how easy it is, how exciting it is, how hot it is and how novel it is. I can literally find anything i want and i don't have to deal with dating, emotions, people, or myself, it's a fast track to the prize.

 

But it is extremely damaging, so many beautiful moments in my life have been ruined because my porn usage put me in a negative mood so i wasn't fully myself and able to show up for the people in my life.

I lose focus, love, connection to God (even though that is always present, maybe better words could be more cloud coverage) and motivation for my life purpose. It has been a tool for my ego to easily self-sabotage especially when things are going well.

 

I need to stop because I want my brain to function at top performance and the dopamine from porn reduces grey matter in the brain, so it's like all the work i do with meditation is just getting shit on by porn usage.

 

Most importantly, i am truly becoming a man these days, i am almost 30, i can no longer hide behind immaturity and the cost of porn use is getting to high. I want to see what happens when i no longer have this block in my river, when i no longer have one foot on the gas and another lightly pumping the brakes. What if i was all gas? 

 

My prayer is for Gods grace and guidance in this journey, God, please allow me to make it to my 30th birthday without having looked at porn or masturbated at all. The only thing i want to allow is natural sex. That is the only way I "can" nut.

 

Aho 

[BlessedLion]

Day 1 officially starts tomorrow hah 

[Salvijus]

Not many people can do it through sheer will power unless you're like david goggins or smth. Or someone who does lots of physical activity. A wiser way imo is to intensify the spiritual practice to the point where the compulsion to explode drops by itself or at least lessens quite a bit. Then it's much more doable 

Edited May 6, 2023 by Salvijus

[BlessedLion]

@Salvijus Trust me bro, i've done a ton of spiritual purification, and this habit still sticks. It depletes my sexual essence. I have to keep trying to use willpower until I beat it, but I believe in myself. Also, if i can find a solid relationship then it will be largely out of my head.

[BlessedLion]

DAY 1 

I felt a bit off balance, since my last time watching was 2 days ago and it tends to keep me feeling off for at least 3 days after.

Positive news, i went on a date in a park with a really cool spiritual girl, it was a good time but i feel if i wasn't on a porn hangover i would've been more tuned in and sexually aroused.