Burning through Karma, discipline and sex addiction

[woohoo123]

Hi Everyone,

I am having an issue linking the concept of burning through karma, discipline and sex addiction. 

The issue I have is I am conflicted, one side I want to have sex with lots of different women, the other side I want to raise a stable family and have those niceties. The classic 'have your cake and eat it too' .

For me, I am currently trying to be in alignment as much as possible as the internal conflict is something that eats away at me, so I wanted to ask your opinions to help me find more internal peace please 

Burning through karma (up until a certain point)

What does burning through karma really mean and how does it fit in with discipline?

On one side I agree with the idea of burning through karma, go and have lots of wild sex until you no longer have the desire. But I feel this is a bit naiive.

I have had a porn addiction for ~20 years. I have probably scrolled through tens of thousands of pages of porn in my lifetime, if I masturbate a lot then sure yep I don't feel like doing it again soon after, but that core desire never truly leaves me. Wait for a week and urges comes back. I feel it is naiive to expect someone to burn through their karma in this sense, because isn't that the point of addictions? you can never truly satisfy it.

This is how I view my situation with having sex with more women, sure its something I want, but at the same time I recognize its this desire is not something that is going to go away by sleeping with large amounts of women (I am not a virgin btw, been with a few women). If you gave me a new woman every week I would gladly have sex until I am like 85. I don't really think it is something you can truly 'burn' through completely. 

I think you need to take it with a pinch of salt in you need to satisfy your desire enough to the point where you realize its never going to truly make you happy (so at least its not totally repressed). But that doesn't necessarily mean you don't have that desire anymore - do you guys agree? But that also means there will always be that  slight internal friction.

Discipline and taking no for an answer

This is where I think discipline comes in and being able to take 'no' for an answer and deal with pain. Recently I have been very drawn to stoic characters. Typically classic heroic figures, think Japanese honorable Samurai type characters. I think what I admire about these characters is they can say 'no' to their desires in pursuit of something 'higher'.

I feel like this type of character is shunned in modern 'woke' communities because we associate it with repressing desires and dogma. But in situations like mine, I feel it is very appropriate.

In spiritual communities we are also often told we can have everything, which from what I can see is just not true. Think law of attraction, 'you can do everything', 'you deserve everything'. I generally find it BS, I find it much easier to accept the idea that - the point of my life might be to learn how to accept I may NOT have those things. For me I still find meaning in that but I do not think it is a popular opinion.

Even though I want to watch more porn and sleep with more women, I need to get a grip and say no to it, and sleeping with more women and watching more porn (burning through karma?) isn't ever going to make my situation any better or make me any happier.  

As Leo discusses in his recent happiness video, there is also some kind of joy in being able to say no to your desires and trying to become someone 'better'.

If I don't have sex for a long time, I find I get really horny until I release again. Sex becomes my number 1 desire. I fantasize about being single, having sex frequently with new women. But as soon as I release, I go back to being in a more 'normal' state, and I spend my time pursing living a better life and that stuff doesn't even cross my mind.

I find it really disturbing and scary how my life priorities can change so drastically depending on the last time I released. This is one of the reasons I think discipline is so important and why following your desires is not necessarily a good thing. We are often told things like 'You're supposed to have XYZ and use your emotions as a compass, follow your desires' - but I feel like there is not much wisdom in actually what desires are worth pursuing. If you're addicted to sex or alcohol then pursuing your desires is not necessarily a great idea! (I am not talking about total repression, I just mean making making major life decisions around it like choosing to be a bachelor for example)

When I see a man say in his ~40's+ (this is a massive generalization which I know isn't true, I am just trying to make a point so you get my message) who goes around and sleeps with women just for the fun of it I feel repulsed. To me I associate this with lack of self-control, someone who has allowed their base desires to dictate their life, and to me seems like the slob/easy path 'fuck everything I am just going to satisfy myself and what I want'. I don't really see that as an admirable character.

Conclusion

So I am choosing to go down the route of settling down (I am in a relationship btw) but yea I am trying to improve the relationship part of myself which still fantasizes about more women.

I also feel its a bit unrealistic to expect people to be in 100% alignment within themselves. Like when you go to the gym there is a part of you that doesn't want to go, but if you try and 'wait for 100% internal alignment' or slob around to 'burn through that karma' I feel like you just ain't ever going to get there or do accomplish anything, although I feel like this is the general message sometimes that gets passed around communities? To me its like an unrealistic expectation which sounds a bit dumb.

Like there is always a part of you that generally wants to fuck, kill stuff and gorge on food so there will always be some amount of internal resistance when you are not doing these things.

Thanks for reading and welcome your comments and views.