Becoming Superhuman

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@Not me If you're interested in optimizing your study methods, here's a good site for you:

 

http://calnewport.com/

[Not me]

My waist has gone down from 91,5 centimeters to 89 centimeters in two weeks which is good. My goal is to be at 78 so it will be a while before I'm there. If I keep dropping my waist size about one centimeter per week it should take me about ten to twelve weeks. I'm so grateful for fixing this area of my life now that I'm young instead of having to deal with all the diseases and fatness when I'm an adult and having much harder time to change.

I ate 2300 calories, meditated for 30 minutes and self-inquired for 20 minutes. My sleep rhythm is now steady and I feel much more alert all the time.

[Not me]

Yesterday I had eaten about 1800 calories by the evening. I felt super hungry and I tried to make it go away by eating a little then waiting and then eating some more. That didn't really make the hunger go away so I though maybe it's just because I have been eating so low calories for too long and decided that I will have a refeed day (basically just eating higher calories for one day). I ate some protein pancakes with jam, grapes, cottage cheese and one big sweet potato. My calories were 3600. I didn't intend to go quite that high but I din't count my calories right there and then so it happens. This amount of calories should really reset my leptin levels and make the hunger go away for a while. I will probably fast today or eat something like 500-1000 calories to really burn that fat.

I have been doing two upper body workouts and one lower body workout each week and not much cardio. I also walk about 40 minutes to one hour each day.

I meditated for 20 minutes before bed. I was supposed to do one hour but I spent too much time on the net and eating so I just got 20. I could have sacrificed sleep but I didn't really want to do that.

[Not me]

Couldn't go quite that low in calories. Just the thought of fasting the whole day made me so damn hungry. But I ate around 1700 calories + a few drinks worth probably 300 calories. I had some serious hunger in the afternoon and I realized that by breathing deeply for a while I'm able to shut down any false hunger. I also did a 40 minute bike ride and a one hour swim.

I didn't meditate at all. I threw a party at my house and I just totally forgot to do it. After a few drinks me and my friends had a genius idea (not) that "hey let's do some shrooms" and so we did and tripped hard together. At first I though it was a big mistake cause I was feeling like shit and couldn't even talk with people but after the climax passed I felt soooo good and loving towards everyone. It just felt so beautiful to be alive and when I looked myself in the mirror I almost started to cry from joy. I had done shrooms before but my friends hadn't and they were just laughing and running around all the time all excited and shit . After they had calmed down a bit we sat together in my room and tripped together. The experience was just so beautiful and connecting. One of my friends even experienced ego death and he started to really understand what's going on in this life and I felt like "thank god finally someone understands me". Anyways it was a great night and we had a blast. 

I should probably start doing meditation before anything else so that I in the evening I can't tell myself I don't have time for it.

[Not me]

I slept only like 6 hours yesterday and I was struggling with hunger all day long. I ate a moderate lunch and a small dinner but between them I had one meal where I ate normally at first but then my hunger wasn't going anywhere so I decide to just eat until it's gone and right there I destroyed about 1500 calories worth of food. And of course I was soon hungry after that. For the rest of the day I just dealt with the hunger. I need to improve my tolerance for hunger when I'm sleep deprived because it's not going to go away. I do feel it has already improved but I need to avoid going completely overboard when I eat because that tends to happen. I think I also eat way bigger meals than normal people and I often feel full in my stomach all afternoon and evening. I will try putting all food I will eat on my plate at once and then just stick to it and stop eating when I feel fullness in my stomach, not in my throat .

I ate 3400 calories and meditated for 20 minutes before bed.

[Not me]

I ate three quite moderate meals yesterday and I stopped eating immediately when my stomach was full. It felt really good to not be so stuffed. I really don't want to eat until I'm stuffed ever again. It just feels like shit and I never really feel good about it even though the eating feels really good. It doesn't matter if the foods are completely healthy it still feels like crap and takes away my energy. I thought I ate about 2000 calories but actually it was 2400. Sometimes I still feel hungry even though my stomach is full. It is not that bad but it's quite exhausting to be hungry all the time. Perhaps my body will adapt.

I have been going for walks much more now that it's getting a little warmer here in Finland. I always feel so refreshed when I walk in nature and at the moment it's probably the thing I like to do the most. In a couple month's time when it's summer here I will spend all my days outside and probably only sleep inside.

Not quite sure what area of personal development should I focus on next. I will definitely keep improving my eating and sleeping habits but they don't take that much effort anymore. I will of course increase meditation and self-inquiry but besides that I don't really know. Pick-up sounds kinda fun and I would like to have amazing social skills so we'll see if I'll try that out .

I meditated for 30 minutes and did self-inquiry for 10.

[Not me]

I stopped eating when I felt full in my stomach and I did this with every meal. It felt really natural and good. I think modeling lean people can be quite helpful and it is probably the best way to learn proper habits for being lean. I have tried it before but haven't really had that much people who to model because even though most of my friends are very lean they are not that muscular and don't eat that much protein. And because I want to be both lean and muscular I haven't really known who to model.  Now  I realized I can take the approach of eating as much in quantity as they do but focusing more on protein rich foods.

I ate about 1900 calories. Today I ate fish, potatoes, vegetables, chicken soup and some fruit. Lately I have been eating mostly lean sources of protein with lots of vegetables and some fruit for snacks.

I also think I might wanna do more swimming. I just realized how much I love it and it's of course very good for getting in shape. I'm really grateful that we have swimming once every two weeks in school. It's so much fun to do morning trainings with friends before school. 

I meditated for 40 minutes. My new way to make sure I fall asleep fast is putting my phone away two hours before bed and spending the last hour before bed in completely dark room. I usually meditate during this last hour but I'm not sure how much it helps.

[Not me]

Oh god. I had eaten completely moderately but I was still a bit hungry and I decided to eat some more food. We had some food left on the table and I ate some of it and then I just felt I need to eat more because I thought my hunger didn't go away but I soon realized it was just thirst because the food was so salty. So I ended up consuming 3800 calories because the hunger just didn't seem to go away. Quite a lot I say but I instantly recognized that I had failed and told myself that I'm only human I can't always be perfect and just fully accepted what I had done. This way I made sure I don't continue bingeing and eating everything in the house. In the past I couldn't accept myself for failures like this and that's why they always lead to horrible binges. Actually I didn't even eat that much but the food was just super greasy so it had tons of calories. 

I meditated for 20 minutes before bed. I feel like I spend way too much time doing things like preparing my clothes for the next day and packing my bag. It always takes me at least half on hour each evening .

[Not me]

I got full points from my English essay and my results from exam week were great. Now all of a sudden I feel crazy motivation for studying. This is weird because I haven't been very motivated to study in a long time. I have usually thought homework is a time waster and takes energy away from more important things. Now I actually look forward to doing my homework. Weird . This is my last period of school before the holidays so perhaps I could study hard now and go to holidays knowing I did my absolute best. I'm actually interested in seeing how good grades I am able to get with intense studying. 

Logged 2400 calories on myfitnesspal yesterday. I still experienced some hunger so my calories might have been even lower. I find it easier to eat less and more healthy when I have listened to videos about fat loss or fitness in general. It gives me a nice extra boost. I have also come up with a solution to my sleep deprivation induced overeating. I take 10 grams of creatine in the morning and in the afternoon. Then I take some magnesium in the afternoon as well. I find this makes my brain work much better and can withstand cravings almost as well as if I had slept properly. Of course the case should be that I'm always well rested and I shouldn't have to rely on supplements. But sometimes it just happens that I can't get enough sleep so this is my second best option.

My confidence has improved hugely in the last year. I can have effortless conversations with almost anybody even with random girls from my school. I probably seem very confident outwardly. However I still experience a lot of nervousness when I have to give a speech. Maybe it's just a normal thing but I would rather be completely open and confident.

I meditated for 20 minutes in the evening. My concentration was nowhere to be found and my mind wandered all over the place. Anyways feeling really calm and happy.

[Not me]

Yesterday was a really chill day. I woke up, did some self-hypnosis, journalling and studied Portuguese for three hours. Then we went for a long walk in nature with my family. At first I felt tired and didn't want to go but when I just started walking I began to feel much better and ended up having really good time. It's still very cold here in Finland (around 0° Celsius) so you need to always wear tons of clothes when you go outside. After our long walk I exercised a bit, played some video games, ate and watched youtube videos for the rest of the day .  I really like to be productive in the morning and also in the evening. Yesterday I just decided to let go and relax a bit.

Seems like I'm still measuring the amount of protein I get wrong. My goal is to eat about 130 grams of protein but usually I end up getting something like 200. So now I will shift my thinking so that I realize food has often much more protein than I think it has. I also don't have a food scale so I just have to eyeball the amount of food I eat. And I don't think my parents would like me measuring everything I eat.

 I ate 2500 calories yesterday. Enjoyed some chocolate and didn't eat the healthiest foods but I ate totally within moderation so it was fine. And it seems like I'm making decent progress since my waist has gone down even more. At the moment it's 86,5 centimeters (2,5 smaller than last week). I'm really excited to get completely shredded but I try to enjoy the journey as much as I can.

I meditated for 20 minutes before bed and did a couple short concentration practices throughout the day.

[Not me]

Missed a day of journaling. I always do my journaling in the morning but yesterday we did a long bike ride and started at 6 am so I didn't have time to journal. We rode about 160 kilometers and I was totally exhausted . I ate something like 4000-5000 calories both yesterday and the day before. It was quite bingeish. We had lots of food with grains and cheese and those foods really triggered me to overeat. I did notice my cravings were just my animal brain going crazy but I still though the cravings were mine. They felt so uncomfortable I had to get them to go away. I really must realize I don't have cravings, the pig inside me has. And I don't need to do anything about the cravings because they are not mine. I must really hammer this down because I can't just be controlled by food for the rest of my life. This week I will reread never binge again to  make it fresh in my memory. 

Having a really empty feeling at the moment and not sure what to do today. I have a sense that what I'm doing in my daily life is not quite right and is just escapism. I always have this feeling I must do these things but of course I don't have to. I just don't know what to do instead. Feeling really confused. 

I meditated for 20 minutes yesterday and 30 minutes the day before that.

[Not me]

Having hard time accepting myself after overeating. Ate 2400 calories yesterday. Also realized I'm way too obsessed about losing fat and I should probably put it on the background of my life for a while. I will just focus on eating in a caloric deficit and not obsess about it. The self-hypnosis should soon kick in so that should also allow me to use less conscious control.

I realized I have a limiting belief that hypnosis won't work for me and I spent some time yesterday changing that. I have a sports psychology book called Mental mastery and there's a section for belief change there. I did some techniques there. Basically questioning my limiting belief from many angles and creating an alternative empowering one. The limiting belief lost some of it's power but I think I will do the process again to weaken it even more. I think I will also spend a couple of days changing my other limiting beliefs because it seems I have quite a few of them.

I meditated for 20 minutes in the evening.

[Not me]

I have cut my meal size to that what a normal person would eat and I'm feeling really really good. I'm not stuffed at all, I feel so much lighter and fitter all the time and I even have more energy . I decided to qualify any eating beyond my stomach being full as binge eating. I will keep eating clean foods and only eat grains or desserts if I'm at a party or somewhere where it would be impolite not to eat. And even in those situations I will eat only one serving of the food and dessert. Any urges or thoughts that will try to make me eat outside these lines are not mine and I won't even consider acting on them. I got a super strong why that I will use whenever temptations hit to remind me of what I actually want: I will think about my upcoming exchange year and how much binge eating would fuck that up. I definitely want to make it great so this is a very strong reason for me to stop.

Ate 1900 calories yesterday. Meditated for 30 minutes. Started listening to Power of now again. Every time I listen to it I realize how unaware have I been in my daily life and how I have started to believe the stories of the mind once again. This book really reminds me to stay awake. I have almost finished my notes from The willpower instinct and I have to say I'm surprised by how many good practical insights the book has. I just saw it on my dad's audible and thought it was just some random not that good self-help book. Decided to listen anyway and it turned out to be really good.

 

[Not me]

2200 calories yesterday. I had some strong hunger before meals but I didn't feel the need to act on it. Just a couple weeks ago I couldn't stand the feeling of hunger and always had to eat something. Now it's just like fuck yeah I'm losing fat!! 

I'm not sure if normal people at my age do anything else than watch netflix, study and party. Sometimes I feel judgmental towards them but I do my best to understand them, I could be one of them. I spent almost the whole day studying and cleaning the house. I studied Portuguese and maths. I should be able to speak Portuguese in four months so I'm in a little hurry . I don't  feel the need to spend much time chilling when I'm at home, school is for that. 

Meditated for 30 minutes and did self-inquiry for 10. 

Edited April 21, 2017 by Not me

[Not me]

Feeling how self-hypnosis is starting to change my self-image. I'm not that lean yet but I feel that I am . I was tired yesterday and I ate some ice cream and some dessert my dad had made. After that I felt the same old binge urges kicking in but this time I remembered my exchange year and  how  much binge eating would harm it. That immediately made me it so painful to even think of bingeing that I didn't even need to fight the urges. I ate 2500 calories. Today I'm going to do a one to two hour swim just for the sake of fun and getting some aerobic exercise.

I'm feeling good about my progress and I don't have that strong need to get to low body fat levels anymore. I will still keep installing this habit of eating at lower calories and cutting my body fat. I just don't want to obsess over it. 

I meditated for 20 minutes.

Edited April 22, 2017 by Not me

[Not me]

Did my 90 minute swim after which I of course compensated by eating a ton. I ate till I was full but then soon after that we had our family dinner and the food was too good I ended up overeating that too. I ate 4000 calories but didn't feel at all bad about myself because I was fully in control. Next time however I will make sure I drink more water so I get full faster. And because I don't wanna eat until I'm stuffed I will make sure I don't eat this much in the future.

I feel I'm super easily influenced at this point in my life. Not sure if it's because I'm a teenager or if it's just me but for example I immediately start to believe everything Leo tells in his videos without much questioning. Even just people telling me something I usually don't even consider it could be false. I guess I will just have to avoid bad influences.

I really like changing and improving things in my life. It makes me feel like I'm doing something cool with my life and always on some kind of adventure.

I meditated for 20 minutes. I'm still lost in thoughts most times and don't realize that my mind is controlling me but I try to be aware of it as often as I can. I have also noticed I love thinking about stuff. It's like I don't even want to stop thinking. Guess it's true we are quite addicted to thinking. 

I'm feeling really happy at the moment. Things are going well, I'm mostly free of binge eating and I just get these bursts of joy through my day .

[Not me]

Not sure if I calculated my calories right or just ate a whole lot of chocolate . I got 3500 calories. I was soooo close to bingeing. My mother brought us some chocolate because she came back from Sweden and I decided to have a bite. Ended up eating a little more than just a bite and I felt the same old emotions and thoughts rushing into my body. There were thoughts like: "Aaaah fuck that you already blew it" "Eat now it doesn't matter you can fast tomorrow". I ate one omelet and then I was just like OK let's not fuck this up and totally accepted that overeating. Then I drank some water and the urges disappeared. 

Today I will reread never binge again. I want to focus on building habits of lean people so that maintaining low body fat levels becomes effortless. I'm definitely going in that direction but there are still some quite big slips.

I meditated for 30 minutes.

[West]

Very cool journal! Have you given a lower-carb diet a try? Such as a ketogenic diet or paleo. I currently eat a ketogenic diet (high fat, low carb, moderate protein) and I feel less hunger and more focused. Perhaps something you can play around with. 

[Not me]

@West Thanks!  I have tried it and I actually lost a ton of fat but it is hard to maintain now that I'm in school because a lot of what we have for lunch contains carbs. Maybe I will try it in a month when my school is over.

[Not me]

I tried to fast the whole day yesterday but I was feeling so weak and unable to focus that I had to stop. I fasted till 6 pm and then ate a lot of chicken, some potatoes, rice and salad. Didn't count my calories but I would assume they were around 2000-2500. I probably didn't lose much weight this week but I got five solid days of good eating. I will continue to focus on eating moderate meals and improving. Doing long cardio sessions and fasting for long usually trigger binge eating in me so I will eliminate those this week and see how it affects things. I have usually done those to lose more fat but I have to admit they have almost always backfired. 

When I want to overeat I never have in mind why I should stop and why this is harming me. I have to keep reminding me of the exchange year thing and how binge eating will totally destroy my life. Practicing self-acceptance has helped me so much but it's time to get serious and totally eliminate any overeating out of my life.

I meditated for 60 minutes.