___ b_sex

[Tyler Robinson]

Have you ever been bedazzled by someone that you met? Totally bedazzled??? 

Yea I have been after I met Eric. I didn't want to meet anyone else. 

I am bonded to him.

 

Secretly Eric gives me husband vibes

 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I have truly madly madly deeply fallen in love with Eric. He is the one for me. 

Recently people have been stealing me from Eric. It feels weird. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

So my bf texted me as someone else, a random stranger. And tried flirting with me. He  did this to test if I'm loyal to him or not(that's what he told me later). I told the random stranger (that is my bf posing as him), that I have a bf that I wish to remain faithful to. He openly confessed about it later and I really did not feel disgusted. Just amused that he would pull something like that. He apologized and he felt sorry for not trusting me enough and testing my loyalty in this weird way. Do you think he is being weird? I didn't mind it that much or probably I wanted to hide my disappointment and still keep it cheerful. I don't want him to feel bad or get mad at him. I know guys can sometimes feel like that about their gf and it's okay, I don't want to feed into his insecurity by challenging him. 

A friend of mine told me that they would break up or get totally mad if the same happened to them. That got me quizzing if I'm being too lackadaisical. 

He is very guilty about it and he can't stop fussing about it constantly. He brings it up and then keeps apologizing. I told him it's okay and no worries. He is feeling a bit sloughed by the whole situation. I don't know what I can do here. 

I care about him deeply and I don't want him to feel like I'm disappointed in him.. 

 

 

I think he wanted to call me a slut and find an opportunity for it. I'm laughing because he got caught. 

Don't mess with my energy. I see through shit. 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

51 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Recently people have been stealing me from Eric. It feels weird. 

Yea this shit feels weird. I have observed this phenomenon with men and by now I'm quite aware of this (very sure this is the case) that men always want a "taken" woman. They want a woman who is someone's girlfriend. They won't go too far if she is a wife

 But I guess a girlfriend is fair game since her man hasn't yet married her. 

Like why do this? There are so many single girls you can hit on. Why do you always want a girl who is someone's gf? Why you wanna steal her from her man? Is it because it makes you feel better inside that you had your hands on another man's woman? 

It's disgusting.. 

[Tyler Robinson]

Even if Eric did this to me, I didn't take it too seriously. I know he sometimes feels insecure around me. He thinks I talk to other men or I flirt and it makes him worried or tensed 

And I always go back to assuring him that my heart is with him no matter what 

 

Other guys can't steal me from him.

 

 

He is too sweet for me to ever think of any other guy.

 

 

 

You are gor - jee - ous in a male kinda way. 

I love you way too much to think of anyone else 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm soaking in all the joy that Eric has brought to my life recently. 

He makes me feel alive. Fruitful. Blessed. 

I belong to him. 

 

I felt horny as fuck yesterday.. 

I wanted Eric to fuck me.. 

And I wanted Ancient Egyptian music playing  in the background for a heightened effect. 

 

Dude I'm your wifey. 

The chemistry between us is intense. 

I wanted to be licked. 

Last time he thrust so deep inside me. I felt nice afterward. I asked him how many times he would want to fuck me every week. And he looked a bit confused. So I told him that I want it at least twice a week.. And he sort of nodded and kissed me on my neck. 

It's a blessing truly. Everytime I'm in his arms. I feel this intense powerful connection. 

Nobody can rob these feelings from me

 

 

 

 

 

For some reason this is kinda memorable. 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

Past three days I have been a horny motherfucking toad. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

This is making me so horny and I got girl problems now. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

This is pure torture now hun. Whatever you do to me. I feeling it in my skin.. The way you squeeze my breasts. You really want this so bad. Just fuck me then. Your desire is so strong, it's making me crazy. 

I can feel your penetrations deep and intense. 

I love your penis. It's making me horny. I'm losing control and I will let you do anything you want. 

Push it inside. I'm feeling it. You are sexing me up so much. I just can't do anything except surrender to your dick torture. 

And you are kissing me, biting 

 

my lips so bad. I just can't. You are making me crazy. 

 

I love what your penis is doing to me 

 

I'm your submissive slave now 

 

I'm getting this tender feeling in my breasts. They feel more beautiful when you touch and play with them. They are yours 

 

Grab my Tits by your teeth. Do what you want and I won't complain 

This is yours. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I'm cold. Just hold me tight and don't let go. 

Then turn me around and fuck the shit out of me. 

Take everything from me in return for your affection

 

Do me (as dirty as you can). 

Make me your sex slave 

I want your masculine sexual energy 

 

I want your cum really badly 

All over me. I want to be your princess. Your little good girl. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I want you inside me 

I want to be seduced, raped, tied down and then fucked really hard. I want to see your balls drained. 

I wanna feel your cum inside me. 

It's pure pleasure and fun. 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

My sexual intensity has calmed down a bit. 

It took almost a day for my heat to calm down 

 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

that's not the real problem. I don't like relying on objects for orgasms. It's like every time I want an orgasm I will need to carry an object around. I don't want to feel that way. It makes me not feel the joy of pleasure. Even if I do it with my partner, I actually feel upset because it means they don't have ability to give me an orgasm. I have had guys give me an orgasm on the phone (when my boyfriend is in another city on work he would call to pleasure me), that kind of  orgasm is an art, it's a skill, it needs proper escalation, emotional stimulation, buildup of sexual tension, foreplay, romance, sexual energy, development of deep intimacy, trust, knowing each other's sexual fantasies, knowing how to turn the other person on, sexual, emotional and psychological logic, connection, sexual fire and sexual chemistry, sexual compatibility in terms of arousal and climax. 

There's a whole gamut of factors and skills that need to be learned in order to give a proper arousal and orgasm. 

I don't want sex to be reduced to something as mere stimulation of organs. I miss out on the emotional and brain stimulation part of it if I took the support of porn and sex toys and technological objects. 

It's like taking diet pills and not exercising instead. Quick solution but exercise is much more wholesome. 

I want sex to be wholesome. 

Last time I had sex with my bf, we lasted for 3 hours in bed before we both orgasmed. The whole three hours were full pleasure and intense bonding and intimacy. The climax and orgasm were very wholesome and organic and extremely romantic and rewarding.. It was pure bliss not just stimulation. 

I could have achieved orgasm with clitoral stimulator or a vibrator within seconds and I could have jerked him off right away. 

But we didn't do that. Instead we took time to gradually seduce each other and bond in the process and finally reached orgasm that were long lasting and intense. 

My body was pulsating the whole time because he gave me multiple arousals. 

Such intense chemistry, intimacy, wholesome pleasurable orgasms with euphoria are not possible with such objects. 

In fact these toys ruin the fun by not allowing space for slow romantic escalation. 

They are meant for instant gratification and I don't want that. 

A real man gives me delayed gratification and that's much more natural, organic, wholesome, romantic, filled with his masculine seduction and very intense and powerful. 

Sometimes my boyfriend is out of town(for work) and those days can be difficult if I'm horny for him. 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I have been moaning all day and night. 

Thinking about him. 

Imagining his penetrations 

 

Sweet moaning. Sometimes painful. 

 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

I want to be his cuddlebug

 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

This perspective is important. 

 

My perspective here is probably incomplete and not fleshed out entirely, but i thought i'd give it a shot.

Pronouns have a grammatical function, they are literally pro-nouns, meaning they are grammatical fillers used to replace names and nouns. It only makes sense for pronouns to be a limited group of words, so that they are used at a high frequency and everybody knows them. If you want to be specific about the thing or person you are talking about, the name or noun is the more precise choice. It can obviously be tedious to repeat a person's name a billion times throughout a conversation, which is why pronouns were invented in the first place. Having more than about 10 to 20 different pronouns or so kind of defeats the purpose of the grammatical medium...so either get rid of them, or acknowledge that pronouns are meant to be a very imprecise and abstract category.

I believe that we need to strike the right balance in this regard. People want to be respected for who they are and that's part of the LGBTQ empowerment. Their standing up for their identities and for the first time owning their inner and outer diversity is a big step up for most of them, and the public performance and acknowledgement thereof is a central part of this. However, i would argue that an excessive demand for other people's respect and validation is a bit of a shadow side of the LGBTQ community. It's powerful that they begin to introspect their identities, and naturally they do find a lot of inner diversity, subtle and conflicting energy forms, masculine and feminine energies opposing and collaborating within themselves. But it is neither practical nor necessary to force people to acknolwedge your identity in every conversation you ever have. That's like wanting your boss to acknowledge that you don't like coffee or the colour blue but do like earl grey tea and a pale shade of purple when that is actually completely irrelevant to the conversation.

In other words, a category is useful in that it always always always reduces things down to one or a few shared characteristics. If we were to be 100% accurate, we would not be able to communicate at all, because every single thing (or worse, every holon) in infinity would need its own name. The power of language lies in its ability to abstract and conceptualise. While we can definitely adapt language to our social needs (....also, the more we investigate something the more disctinctions we make and the more labels we invent for it....), especially in this case, given that gender is quite important to our current society, we should remain aware that there are limits to this. After all, you can respect a person for who they are, without all their identity aspects and preferances being known to or verbally acknowledged by you.

In this specific context, i personally think that it makes much more sense to focus on pronouns that emphasise our shared identity as "human", rather than going down the rabbit hole and feeling like we need to invent a new label for every subtlety of expression and energy that we find within ourselves. 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

I need to do a bit of ranting to get things off my chest. 

[Tyler Robinson]

 

 

You don't understand the depth of my desire or passion for you. 

You should feel it in my vagina. 

 

 

       

 

 

     

 

 

 

Edited October 4, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

 

I'm a human being not an animal. 

Before judging me know that a human being is sitting behind this computer. 

I don't deserve to be judged. 

I have only done what humans do. 

 

I truly loved you. I never meant any harm 

 

You were a part of my soul family. You came into my world and gave me hope in situation where I had no hope or desire to live. 

My future was very bleak. 

 

You gave me some support and I felt really good. I did what a hungry child would have done. I grabbed your hand out of desperation. 

I did wrong to you and I hurt you. And I accept full responsibility for it. 

Your forgiveness means a lot to me. 

I was unable to communicate my fears, worries and situations to you. There was simply no chance to do that. It led to a lot of misconceptions and hostility. 

Even if there was a chance to communicate my situation, I wouldn't have successfully let you know how I felt because I suffer autism and it's not mild. It's severe autism. And because of that I'm unable to express my thoughts in exact words. I am never able to say how I really feel or what's happening with me. That's why I get misunderstood a lot. 

I think people with autism should not have relationships. Because they will never be truly understood and misunderstandings will cost them their life. 

 

 

I hope some day you would be able to Intuitively feel my pain, my reasons, my intentions without me needing to communicate those to you. 

 

Back in those days I really thought you were my husband. I should not have pressured you with such a huge responsibility. 

I wish I had a husband who would understand me and spend their life with me. I would do so much to heal. 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

You were an important part of my life in a spiritual context.. 

You helped me understand intimacy. 

We did a lot of trauma and karma to each other. 

Day before yesterday you talked about forgiveness and closure. 

It helped me a lot. At least knowing that you don't hate me as much as I believed you did. 

I was very panicky while talking to you. I was literally exploding with fear from inside. 

I thought you just wouldn't be ready to talk.. 

I'm glad that you tried to allow me some openness.