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ShardMare

Anxiety while watching a film (close to Emotional numbness, alexythimia,emptiness)

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I have anxiety and i feel upset or weak idk how to describe it when i see a movie. It doesnt matter what type of movie it is.

There are just too many emotions.

I like to be serious, i cant be that emotional.

What causes this?

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@ShardMare 

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I don't know you or your situation but it sounds like you could be triggered by something, perhaps associated with past trauma or childhood. You mentioned the anxiety occurs during any type of movie. But perhaps while you're watching any random movie, you are actually having a strong emotional reaction to a particular and recurrent theme/emotion/mood/scene.

You say you feel emptiness and numbness. Many times this can derive from generally feeling disconnected to love, joy, people, and things. Do you find that you are feeling socially isolated or disconnected at all? If so, this could be causing you to feel empty. But I think that it is perfectly okay to feel into these emotions and to notice them. Your emotions can teach you so much about yourself and help you grow. And I believe it's best to sit, watch, and learn from your emotions, rather than dismiss them. So it's great that you are noticing what's happening, opening up, and asking for advice. 

Emptiness itself is an emotion, which tends to arise out of lack of fulfillment. And it's okay to feel this way. In fact, if it's any consolation, I've found that "emptiness" can often show you what you are missing in life and therefore, guide you towards that thing you are currently deprived of; towards the things you deeply desire, and ultimately help you to regain your sense of fulfillment.

@ShardMare If and when this occurs again, I invite you to try noticing what was presented on the screen before you had a reaction. This could help you gain deeper clarity on what exactly your triggers are and develop effective preventative/coping strategies as well. Also, try to check in with yourself and feel into your body when this is happening. Ask yourself what type of sensations are you experiencing in your body? Perhaps ask, "What is it about this movie, or scene, that is causing me to feel so bad?" You may surprise yourself as to how much this could be related to deep internal wounds you may need to work on healing. And movies are in a way, great for this (as a self-assessment/self-inquiry exercise). They can offer clues and details which can help you determine and analyze what you need to work on about yourself, when you notice the emotional reactions you are having to them. But if you are finding that it's too much right now, you could always stop watching movies for a while and see how you're feeling.

The thing with trauma is, after we experience it, we start to learn how to become hyper-aware of emotions and hyper-attuned to emotional cues. It's like we're on high-alert all the time, and we actually become highly sensitive to the moods, energies, and behaviors of other people. This acts like a shield; like a defense mechanism, because it helps and teaches us how to respond to specific behaviors and how to react in certain environments/situations. And this applies to watching people in films as well. Watching movies can actually successfully improve our capacity to empathize with various emotions, which can heighten our sensitivity to emotions--especially if you already have a lot of unresolved trauma. Also, movies contain a myriad of complex information/imagery/content which is deeply buried and connected to our sub-conscious minds. This is how and why we can relate to them so much. And this is why we have triggers; revelations of our traumatic experiences/repressed memories, or even just moderate nostalgia, while watching movies. This is because our brains recognize the sub-conscious associations, relate to them, and then essentially, we re-experience the event (i.e.; mentally or physiologically). 

For me, personally, I like to deliberately re-watch movies because I enjoy exercising my ability to see from multiple perspectives and to put myself in the shoes of various characters. It's like, you know when you watch a movie for the first time, we don't always notice the true colors of someone right away, or the truth to the situation. We can't always predict what's going to happen because we don't know the full story yet; we haven't seen the "big picture" yet. But, once we watch it for the second time, we know exactly what's going to happen, so it gives us more room to focus on each individual character, and to deeply understand what unique challenges/obstacles/emotions each one is going through and feeling throughout the course of the movie. Whether the character is "good" or "bad", haha, you know? It just works as an exercise to gain a deeper perspective towards all types of people, situations, and circumstances.  

Anyway, I promise you, it does get easier over time. I hope this advice was helpful for you and I wish you all the best along your journey. ?❤️ Please feel free to reach out if you ever need to vent.


"Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand." --Patti Smith

"Lately, I find myself out gazing at stars, hearing guitars...Like Someone In Love" 

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@VioletFlame no i've worked my way through emptiness. I dont know why i wrote emptiness and numbness. 

I just have this anxiety trigger. 

When i watch a film i start to become more quiet and emotional and not confident. 

The weird thing is i cant even watch 5minutes of a film because its so umcomfortable for me. 

 

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