Looking Back

[ndm678]

It's kinda like the 'Use Your Illusion II' album from Guns 'N' Roses in the 90's

I don't want to be here long, dwelling in the past brings depression.

5/13/22-

OMM- Ms. O Pants - Froonis Baggins of The Shire

My 'little girl' turns 16 today. Oh, the difficult time it was just to bring her to birth. 90% chance she wouldn't come to term. Oh, how I prayed to my Christian God!

She became, on this day, with known complications and variances. Every specialist 'wanna be' up the east cost was there. I overheard a doctor from Tufts say to a colleague  "I don't care about getting paid, I just want to be here."

Damn, this is truly a unique thing going on.

The treatments and surgeries that followed in the months after;

" Where do you think she is?
Does she feel our gentle kiss?
Is she coming back?
Can I hold her in my lap?
Away from these machines
Monitors and IVs"

"Oh, my girl, it's ok
Let the machine breath for you
You'll breath again
As soon as you can
Maybe open up your eyes
I think I saw a smile
When I put the SOX game on
On the radio
When the light is getting low
And still they do not know
And we can't get any answers
But you know that it ain't dark
In the middle of Fenway park
And the crowd sings with all their heart
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah"

And now we are here.

4 years ago started the chain of events that lead to my divorce. At my daughter's birthday party. Oh, how I lost faith in my Christian God!

Let's not dwell there.

So we will be here, on our slice of earth, for a little while, to celebrate. My peasant hands surely won't provide much for earthly pleasures for you in this endeavor. 

But, you see, she seeks not for those things. She's an older soul than I. My daughter, my student, my social experiment, my Guru, my Mentor. I have shown her how to live in the world, she's has shown me how to live in the spirit.

And she's physically alive. We made it, for real.

"And your so much like me, I'm sorry"