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Nicoleta

How do I tell a guy what's wrong with me?

3 posts in this topic

Here's my proboblem: 

I'm an attractive, funny, intelligent, kind woman. This is not all in my head, all my life I had guys come on to me and some even fall in love. From the outside I look unbelievable, hard to find kind of girl. The one that will play video games with you, top your every dirty joke, instantly liked by your dorky or arrogant friends and absolutely adored by your family. I know how to give a guy his space and let him have the balls, but I'm also rock solid when time comes. Not screwing around, never taking lightly a man's pride and on top of that a sexual freak ☺. In my life I have my sht together and I'm not expecting from a relationship nothing else but deep connection, love and good company. 

Too good to be true? It is. 

I wasn't like this all my life, I grew up as a pretty girl and that was it. Always expecting guys to take care of me financially and in any other way. I never cared to bring to the table anything else but my vg and that worked for a while ... until I started loosing my hair. I was in my mid 20's when I saw my first bald spot. A few weeks later I found out it was lupus and there's not much I can do about it. My confidence went down the drain instantly and at first I just wanted to kill myself. I thought: If I'm not pretty then I'm nothing and I wasn't very far from the truth. 

Anyways, I decided to go on and see if hair is actually everything or not. I started dealing with ... you know, sht. I started from scratch and dealt with all my childhood, god, life purpose, relationships, discipline, basically figured out who I am and what makes life worth living. And now I'm kind of stable and somehow at peace. I'm still young, good looking ... with a head full of bald spots. You can't see it at first because I use colored hair products to cover it, but if things get intimate it must be talked about.  

My question is: How do I bring this up to a guy who asks me out? 

He's like: hey, can I have your number? 

And I'm supposed to be like: does it bother you that I have bald spots?

Also guys from work or friends group feel super rejected because I keep saying no when it's obvious I'm single.

Any thoughts?  

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we all bring assets and debits to the table ... this is a first date conversation, need not be worried about before that ... will not be a deal breaker for everyone though it will be for some ... but it is good that one has this kind of conversation at the beginning ... it is a way of weeding out the players, the creeps, the losers etc

bless you today, you will bag a fantastic guy in time i can see that

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