Dealing with girls expectation of you in a relationship

[Atb210201]

Hi this is just me writing this after a breakup that I just had with a girl whom I love very deeply and we were talking for about 6 months online and video calling each other almost every night and sleep together on the phone but we never met each other because we were cities apart and I was gonna see her in two weeks and we had planned a lot of things to do together and we dreamed about hugging and kissing each other when we saw each other and all these stuff 

But I saw in my interactions with her that she has a concept of love in her mind and that she has to be special for the one who loves her (I mean totally understandable and it's true to some degree) and she expects to see me prove to her that she's special for me in my heart (which she was actually) and I did that to some degree too but I saw myself craving for sex more and seeing the possibility of us having sex was the most important engine that drove me to continue with her but deep down I was also afraid of hurting her in the end so it went on and on till tonight that I decided to break up with her finally after realizing the fact that she had became attached to me way too much and I was afraid of letting it go further than this so I broke up with her and broke her heart but I'm having a hard time drawing a line between how to be straight up with girls about sex and how to show them that you also love them but not neglecting your wants to have sex with them because of the possibility of them not thinking that you only want them for sex and you actually also care about them so how do I do this in the future to have better relationships with my partners 

and also I'm very worried about her I told her to delete everything we had in our chats and not ever coming back to me and forgive me and herself for what happened and let go and go on and live her life lovingly and she said she hates me and blocked me but I'm worried about her broken heart because I had some similar experience in my own past with another girl that broke my heart and I even killed myself but didn't die so I'm worried for her not doing the same things that I did I know this is all just in my mind and I did some meditations and contemplations for letting it go and they helped a lot but still I'm worried 

I would love to see the feedbacks from this forum. Thank You