Grant6

Daily Life Lessons

21 posts in this topic

Hello. This is my Daily Life Lessons Journal. 

Every day, I will reflect on my day, what went right or what went wrong, any insights no matter how big or small, and any other valuable lessons that I gained that day. Then I will post my discoveries here. 

 

My vision is that over time, this journal will become a massive collection of wisdom that I have pulled from my own life experience, and my hope is that when others come across my life lessons, they will be inspired to reflect on their own lives, or the lessons will be useful to them for understanding situations that they themselves are going through. 

I'm sure others have already done something like this; in fact, it is similar to Leo's blog where he posts insights of his own. But these will be my own unique insights and/or lessons that I come across in my direct experience. I will try my best to post daily. 

I am not sure what form this journal will take. My intention as of now is for the posts to be very digestible. Short and sweet. A paragraph at most. That way there is no fluff, just the main idea that I am trying to get across. My hope is that keeping these posts concise will allow me to practice becoming more articulate as that is one of my personal goals in life, but also it will be much easier for others to read and follow along with. However, I can see a future where this journal could change to become more of a stream of consciousness where I just write my thoughts and let it be what it wants to be. But I think I would like to keep that separate for now as that is how I write in my personal journal, which I will not be sharing here. I think others would rather enjoy reading quick and concise nuggets of wisdom versus long-winded in-the-moment thoughts. They both have pros and cons, but—ah, I digress. I have to stop myself from becoming too verbose haha. 

——

To begin the journal, here is the lesson I learned today:

When life gives you lessons, you write that shit down. 

Because life is going to be full of mistakes, full of failure. If you don't gain any lessons from those mistakes and failures, you won't grow from them, or in other words you will be doomed to repeat them. Reframing mistakes and failures as positive is key. I like to frame them as learning opportunities. Then after you discover the lesson from the experience/situation, don't just keep the lesson you learned in your mind. You will forget it. Instead, you gotta write that shit down so you remember it and can further reflect on it later on. 

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Growth is paradoxical; you have to love yourself as you are, but simultaneously change yourself. 

I had to reconcile this today. I had a humbling experience where I was forced to face my own shortcomings. And in that moment I did not love myself. I felt pathetic, and worthless... Until this thought came into my head: if I don't love myself now, as I am, flaws and all, I will never actually be happy—even when I do overcome my shortcomings. There will always be growth to do, so if I wait to love myself until I reach some destination, what I'm really doing is chasing my own tail—it's infinite. I will never reach that destination, and will forever feel empty inside. That's why I have to love myself now. Don't put conditions on your own self worth. After this, I found some affirmations that I said to myself that really helped.

I have a lot to offer. I love who I am. I am a gift to the world. 

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3 hours ago, Grant6 said:

I have a lot to offer. I love who I am. I am a gift to the world. 

This is sooooo beautiful @Grant6 you ABSOLUTELY do!

❤️ 

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16 hours ago, Esilda said:

This is sooooo beautiful @Grant6 you ABSOLUTELY do!

❤️ 

Thank you @Esilda :) 

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It's ok to be a noob. It's a part of the journey. 

Have you ever tried to learn something new or start a new habit, only to quit soon after beginning? It might have been because you were embarrassed or ridiculed for being a newbie. For being inexperienced, for being unknowledgeable, for making rookie mistakes. It probably hurt. But everyone was a newbie at one time in their life. Everyone had to learn to walk as a baby, but no one ever judges a baby for crawling first. There's a process, it's developmental. So never let others—or yourself, convince you that you can't be successful in something, just because you make mistakes, or aren't perfect at it from the start, or don't know the how-to. If it's your passion, if it's your vision, if it makes you happy, do it! And don't give up!

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Posted (edited)

Approval seeking keeps you from being your authentic self. 

One thing I have been discovering about myself is that I am addicted to approval. I seek it out through other people because I expect it to fill a void inside of me. But I am realizing that no matter how much approval I get from others, it is never enough. And it not only keeps me from being happy and truly loving with myself, but it keeps me from creating genuine relationships with others. I have been becoming more aware of when I am engaged in approval seeking, and that awareness alone is very curative. But journaling has also helped a lot. I still have a lot more work to do on this, but I am making a lot of progress. 

Edited by Grant6

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The pain of doing is much less than the pain of not doing 

A little context: I am a student at a university, and currently working on a research-heavy presentation due tonight. Well, I only started yesterday. And I had basically the entire semester to start. And even today I have still been resistant to starting. I have been avoiding the pain of working. Overwhelmed by the amount of work, and being generally uninterested in it, I have procrastinated until the last minute. But after lots of distracting myself, I finally started, and I noticed... it's actually not that bad. The pain of procrastinating and putting it off has actually been a lot worse than the pain of doing the work. In fact, doing the work hasn't actually been painful at all (in this case of doing research). I approached the whole thing with an attitude of wanting to learn about the topic I am researching, and that changed my whole motivation. I found myself actually wanting to do the work, and being genuinely interested in it. So next time you're in a rut, or you have to do something you don't want to do. Just do it. Simple as that. You don't need any tricks or shortcuts.

Well, one tip: courage and curiosity. Have the courage to face the pain head on, and then be open-minded to the possibility of learning something from it. 99% of the time there is a lesson to be had, and after finding it you'll come out stronger, and more wise than you went into it. 

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Waiting until you feel guilty to take responsibility is not sustainable

In my previous post, I noted that I tend to procrastinate. Well, I ended up getting in a little bit of trouble from my professor for turning something in late. I had a meeting with the professor and I felt guilty about, and now I feel obligated to change the behavior. But this isn't the first time this has happened. I often wait until I am caught, or get in trouble to take responsibility. Because those negative feelings are my motivation towards action. Now I am actually beginning to see the importance of positive motivation as negative motivation just isn't sustainable. I cannot wait until I feel guilty about things to take action. No one is going to guilt me for not self-actualizing. No one is going to guilt me for not sticking with habits. Well, that one is possible. But in that situation where someone is being guilted into maintaining a habit (from others or from yourself), that is not sustainable because then the guilt becomes something they are dependent on. And in addition, it's the waiting to take action/take responsibility that's the problem. Don't wait! Did anyone who achieved anything extraordinary in their life accomplish that because they were guilted into it? I don't think so. Most likely they had a vision for what they wanted, and they didn't wait to take action on it!! 

Also, here are a couple articles I found that helped lead me to this insight:

1. https://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com/what-does-taking-radical-responsibility-really-mean/

2. https://devintheraven32.medium.com/guilt-isnt-required-to-take-resonsibility-b22485d022dd

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Don't forget to eat

I really tend to slack off when it comes to eating properly. First and foremost, I don't eat enough. I often skip meals, because I would rather be doing other things, and with following Leo's videos for so long, being exposed to all the amazing metaphysical insights he talks about, I have put food and nutrition on the back burner—unconsciously labeling it as less important compared to everything else. But I am so wrong. And Leo has talked about food health in some videos. But for the past 6 months, I have slowly been increasing my appreciation of the importance of nutrition. My girlfriend has really helped me with that. I have always felt like diet is unimportant, especially compared to other facets of personal development that take precedence over my life such as spirituality, reading & learning, and emotional mastery. But nutrition is entangled in all of that! It really does effect your mental clarity, your energy, your consciousness, and more. So I have been baby stepping it, and one of those baby steps is just eating in the first place. So today I had to remind myself to take a break to eat. I know you want to keep reading that book so bad! Or keep watching that video! But it really is worth it to take a break, and take time to cook. Be conscientious about it. 

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There's always someone better than you

So I am a musician, I play piano and guitar, and I was at band practice. Not my band, but a friend of a friend's. It was this open practice thing and it was really fun, but seeing them play, it was inspiring. They were so good and I just thought to myself I want to get to that level. And whenever I see other great people doing great things, whether it's music or other forms of art, or people like Leo who accomplish really incredible feats, instead of comparing myself to them I try my best to use them as inspiration. I am a pretty humble/modest guy anyways, but experiences like these are good reminders to check yourself if you notice yourself getting a little too cocky or arrogant. 

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If you don't challenge yourself, life will challenge you instead

This is so profound, and I really need to remind myself of this one every single day. It's hard to challenge myself, but that's what's necessary. Challenge is an inevitable part of growth. If I want to grow myself, challenge is something I have to embrace. Otherwise, like Leo said in the clip (link is below), life will challenge you instead, and demand things from you that you may not want to do...because you were expecting life to be easy. But really, to create a good life, it's not easy. It's challenging. Not impossible, but it will take hard work, and require me to set challenges for myself (not wait for life to do it). It connects to my previous post about taking responsibility. Life can be seen as taking increasing responsibility for the challenges in life

clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJm6TmxHRQE&list=PL5sAdIYkxtORT0dPVRis47bPwqod14Nmq&index=29&t=310s

 

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Have confidence in your work

I had a presentation today that I gave for class. I pulled an all nighter to finish it and I was sure it'd go over poorly. But I gave it and it actually turned out really well, and I think I got a good grade on it. It sparked a lot of interesting conversation afterwards, so just goes to show not to be so quick to judge your own work. It might be better than you think. Of course just because you get approval for it doesn't mean it's good, so watch out for that trap. But overall having confidence in what you create is a good thing. 

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When strategizing, expect the unexpected

This weekend, I went "camping" in an RV with my gf, it was something we had never done before. We brought a lot of food, and put it in the refrigerator that was provided. Well, the refrigerator broke over night, so we didn't realize it until the morning and all the food was spoiled. Sucked. But I was thinking, was that really our fault for not planning too carefully? I don't think someone could ever plan for ever single possible thing that could go wrong, and that would be pretty neurotic anyways. But, I think the lesson here was that expect the unexpected and plan accordingly, to a degree. No need to be anal about planning for every little detail, but thinking about things you might be taking for granted is a good idea.

This is also part of why I did not post the last couple days, I wanted to relax this weekend and I didn't feel like I had worthwhile lessons to post. And it was nice to getaway for a bit, and not think about daily survival responsibilities. I have another post though after this one to make up for it. 

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I hold limiting beliefs about myself that I am unconscious of

I just realized that I hold a belief about myself that "I am lazy," and I think that is why I tend to procrastinate so much. Not sure exactly where it came from. Then when I feel like I should be working, I tell myself "do not be lazy," and sort of guilt myself into doing something. It never works. I just still engage in laziness. One angle I am approaching this is through The Sedona Method. Fundamentally, I want to change the laziness. But instead I am trying to let go of wanting to change the laziness, and see how that affects me.

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I highly value self expression

I was just reflecting on my life currently, and I am a bit stressed right now, but then I was in my car just driving, and I was listening to music/singing, and I just felt so much love in that moment. After reflecting on it I think it was because I felt like I was expressing myself, and when I thought about it further I think that's what makes me most happy, when I am doing something where I feel I am authentically expressing myself. On the flip side, I think I tend to get tired of things or give up when I feel like I am not able to express myself on a level I am satisfied with. 

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Set deadlines, and take them seriously

I am pretty much done with the semester now, and one thing I feel like I have all this free time now, which is nice, but I don't want to waste it like I have previous years. I think one reason why I feel into that trap is because I didn't have deadlines for myself like I do during school. One of the only reasons I have ever got shit done in school is because there are deadlines forced upon me. If I want to accomplish anything beyond school I gotta set those deadlines myself, whether I like it or not, and actually take them seriously. I have to pretend that they are actually consequences for not following through, maybe I could actually make consequences. Or have an accountability friend, something like that. 

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On 4/13/2022 at 9:15 PM, Grant6 said:

Growth is paradoxical; you have to love yourself as you are, but simultaneously change yourself. 

 

the paradox is an illusion, really theyre interconnected. when you love yourself, you still can desire change, it's just the motivation is different. one arises from self-love whereas prior it may have arisen from self-hate 

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@Jacob Morres  Ahh thank you for that distinction, I think that's a helpful question to ask oneself: is my motivation coming from self-love or self-hate?

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Celebrate your accomplishments

I just finished the semester, and I am just happy to be done. One thing I rarely ever do for myself though is actually celebrate when I accomplish something. This semester was a little rough for me, and I kinda feel like I didn't really give it my all, but I still made it through, and instead of feeling bad that I could have done better, I'm gonna try to acknowledge the fact that I still made it through and that's worth celebrating and being proud of, even though it feels kinda weird to do at first. 

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