100mcg Rectal LSD Trip Report 005 - Freedumb Convoy Edition

[ZenSwift]

LSD Trip 005

February 12th 2022

Imagine taking your most potent hit of acid and then when you're at your peak the world starts going into chaos and there's riots and shit outside. That's what I experienced. 

Like I was going for it hard in this trip.

My Intentions were:

Quote

What am I if I'm not the body? What is direct Experience?  What is PHYSICAL? WHAT IS THIS? Try to see A=A.

Come in contact with the absolute. Deny all external authority and take back all of my authority over reality.

Assuming direct experience to be true, how could that be the case? Seeing direct experience of what is.

Becoming the whole. Becoming the room. Becoming being.

 

 

 

What is the CORE ESSENCE TRUTH OF REALITY RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

What is Being? What is Actuality? What is Direct Experience?

What is Existence? What is Reality? What is ISness? What is ISing?

What does it mean to IS?

?> IS <?

What are all these pointing to?????

YOOOOOOOO????????!!!

What is THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So those were the intentions, basically self inquiry.

 

Dosage: 100mcg Rectal administration. Definitely my favorite ROA because I don't get much body load.

Putting one whole tab in rectally that's not cut up is A LOT easier to do because it's a nice big piece.

Dropped at 10:28am

 

26 min.

Nothing noticeable yet

30 minutes

Very awkward and vibratory come-up.

Very hungry, tired and a hint of nausea. 

 

34 mins Visuals inbound.

1 hour in, feeling very conscious.

Time to start doing the work.

 

Seriously

What if I'm God?

What if I'm just a field of awareness that needed to create a body and an environment to fool that it is not itself?

 

>So I just sat on the couch and tried to do some self inquiry, the best I could.

 

YOOOOO

Your mind is going to come with every excuse in the book to distract you from looking at truth, especially the absolute.

If I was just a field of awareness in the room with nobody it wouldn't make any sense. Which is why I created the body. The body grounds my field of awareness in a context so I can fool myself that I am a "perceiver". And as long as "I perceive" I will have a body to back it up.

What can I put my Awareness on to prove that I exist?

I have no face.

I created eyes as an excuse to "see".

 

I'm so stoned that when I close my eyes, I hallucinate like I'm a camera in a different part of the world. Like I'm over at an assembly line of people or I'm literally just a drone flying somewhere.

 

I need 5meo lol.

>At this point I am thinking that it's pointless to try to get to the truth using LSD when I can just use 5meo, because I have access to it.

 

This is literally the best stage of consciousness I've had in weeks and I'm just fucking chillin here on the bed...

 

I'm SO DISTRACTED.

I don't think I've been this bored while high.

 

There is nothing that my mind doesn't do that is outside of my control.

>Yet at the same time I control nothing...

 

 

What is the substance of substance?

What is the substance of substance of substance of.......

 

>So there I was, staring at my reflection in the mirror, doing self-inquiry. Closing one eye, poking the the other eyeball as I observe my vision shift. Also thinking about how ugly I appear to be in that moment, you know, in a loving way, just chilling really, loving the moment.

>Then out of nowhere, the ringing from the silence that was in my ears got louder, it got really REALLY loud.  I heard it coming from somewhere. I opened the window of the bathroom I was standing in, I realize that I'm hearing honking, SO much honking. I thought some building was on fire. It was complete chaos. I had NO IDEA what was going on. I step outside and I see these people speeding down the streets with their loud as fuck horns and honking the horns of the cars. I swear someone had a war horn or something. Shit was loud as FUCK. The entire neighbourhood was screaming loud. It was really distressing. Instantly, the whole world was chaos, and I was basically in fight or flight mode, WHILE peaking on a very potent dose of LSD. I was like “YOO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!” I was thinking like there's like a group of terrorists, extremists something. I was also laughing at the chaos. I asked people that were in the house what the fuck was that, and they didn't know! I felt like I was in the middle of WW3 or some shit lol. Like I was genuinely concerned if I needed to defend myself and the house.

I only found out several hours later that it was this thing called “the freedom Convoy” that's been happening all across Canada. Dude what the fuck. I had ZERO idea of what this was.

 

>So this basically threw my LSD trip off the rails. I eventually just gave up and used my LSD state to think about survival. This has basically been my fallback intentions anytime I can't focus on the more metaphysical stuff.

 

>Side note, when you close one eye and poke your eye, (touching your eyelid, not the eyeball itself.) and your vision shifts that is literally changing reality as it absolutely is, isn't it? Using a perception to change a perception? It's like how a taking a psychedelic is a perception that changes reality, which is nothing but perceptions. So in this case instead of consuming a psychedelic, it is your finger poking your eyeball. 

 

 

Reality is the device that contains stories. The social matrix is a system to create a homeostasis around the loudest stories. Without the story of the freedom convoy, I would be very worried about what the fuck this group was up to.

 

>Thinking about how I imagine everything in reality.

I'm going to imagine the rest of my life.

I'm going to imagine what it feels like to create myself. (Align with my life purpose) That is the gift I give myself.

To be able for the first time, survive as this "being of consciousness" in this "given reality" to discover his place in the world that HE FUCKING IMAGINED.

>We are the Director, the Producer, and the Viewer.

 

We come into this world to create attachments, to grasp onto something, otherwise, it wouldn't mean anything if we realized we were just grasping sand.

 

Here's a decent question: What would I have to do to fool myself that I am not GOD?

 

Why you need to track your time:

You need to sacrifice a bit of your time to keep track of the rest of it. If you can spend 10% of your time to make sure you're spending the other 90% really well, you're good. That's like 1-2 hours a day planning. That's plenty of time.

>For many this is obvious, but for me this hit different.

 

To construct a life purpose, you must know first how to deconstruct it. You must be the knower that you are the one that constructs all meaning, purpose and value.

 

I really need to train my consciousness more. I need to set aside time to Meditate. My ability to focus is shit, and it's causing problems.

 

 

Here's an interesting insight. States of consciousness.

• Creativity is a state of Consciousness.
• Inspiration is a state of consciousness.
• Motivation is a state of consciousness
• The mode when the ideas are flowing to you effortlessly IS a state of consciousness.

Dude what the fuck!

• Success is LITERALLY just a state of consciousness.
• Feeling like you're going to be successful is a state of consciousness.
• Feeling like you're on the path is a state of consciousness.
• Being focused is a state of consciousness.
• Your state of consciousness determines your life.
• Having the motivation to turn your life around is a state of consciousness.

And all of these states of consciousness can be induced manually.

 

Being unfocused as I am is the gift I give myself. Because when I can figure out how to focus THIS DUDE, I'll know a lot about how I can train others.

 

I want to write a really inspiring piece of poetry. Just like Prince EA. https://youtu.be/ja-n5qUNRi8

 

To have motivation, I need to put myself in the grip of life, I need to put myself in touch with death. I need to CAPTURE that state of consciousness.

 

The one that doubts themselves the most can teach themselves to doubt themselves the least.

 

How can I get myself into the state of consciousness so that I FEEL like I'm on the path. While knowing that I'm not fooling myself. A state of consciousness where you KNOW that you are giving it your all, where you are pushing yourself to constantly grow yourself. Stay in that state of consciousness long enough and you'll manifest the success you want.

 

One of the greatest joys in life is to create something beautiful.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to make your life a work of art.

 

At the end of the day I proceeded to have a 5 hour conversation with my good friend, making plans to move out, talking about a bunch of motivational shit.

 

>The following morning...

So I had mega broken sleep for the entire night. I was basically trying to sleep while half high. So THAT was interesting.

 

I kept constantly thinking about the ramifications of the conversation I had, and I think because I was still on acid, I actually programmed in some of that drive because this morning I am realizing just how real it's going to get when we are living together. I laid in bed for a significantly shorter amount of time and I got up, made my bed and got myself dressed and ready to work.

 

I'll need to practice self inquiry sober for awhile before I get into doing it again on psychedelics. Gotta crack open the neti neti book.

I need to practice the Enlightenment guides a lot more as well.

 

But I'm also just going to see what 5meo can do for me as well.

 

Sometime this year...

Edited March 8, 2022 by ZenSwift