What I think is my spiritual ego is really frustrating me

[cataplin]

Greetings from Peru! 

I wanted to see if I can get some advise or feedback on a certain situation that apparently I don't know how to handle well. About 8 years ago (I'm 33 now) I started my consciousness path, to say it in a way, by going to Medicine ceremonies and just trying to keep this knowledge with me. Of course in the middle of this process I have had many downs and gone back to bad habits and everything, but in general terms all this time I have been aware that reality is way bigger or complex than we think or normally experience. Just trying to point that I'm not enlightened or anything. On the outside I appear to be a regular guy.

Now the thing is that specially after ceremonies or actually in general I'm dying for people to know about all of this and experience the wisdom that I have experienced. Like I can't stand knowing about this just by myself. For some time I tried to convince friends and family but not a good idea. They are mostly very close minded and they don't believe me when I have told them about THIS. They think it is just hallucinating from substances and it is not real. Even if they accept what I say they just don't want to know more about it. I really don't know why I have this urge for everyone else to know about this, the truth, spirituality. I feel lonely in my surroundings. Is it insecurity? I know the question may be silly and the answer is as simple as "just don't care about it" but wanted to check if someone is kinda on the same spot and has any thoughts. Like

Thank you all

[Cathal]

"The moment truth is asserted, it becomes false."

Is the real truth to spread your truth exactly as you experienced or is there a deeper truth, that everything is as it is and has no need for you to assert your truth into it? If you actually care about helping people, go beyond your truth and see things more clearly and develop skillful action. Here's what I mean.

A teacher has a disciple that wants to get closer to God, so he says fast for 2 weeks. 2 weeks later, the disciple comes back and says he hasn't eaten in 2 weeks, the teacher says 'congratulations I admire your devotion'

The same day another guy walks up to the teacher and says 'I haven't eaten in 2 weeks' the teacher replies 'congratulations I admire your devotion'

Can you see how retarded that is? You dont ASSERT your truth, because that is not truth. You do your best to meet people where they are at. That is real compassion, compassion is not asserted. Your desire to convert people to fulfill your needs is highly unethical and isn't helping you at all.

You might have just become far too attached to your spiritual experiences and I don't think you shouldn't 'not care about it' but investigate the nest you built for yourself more clearly,

'who' is the one bothered by peoples dissapproval of its truth?

 

[Thought Art]

Maybe you gotta find your tribe.

family and friends simply don’t care about the spiritual stuff until they do… 

[Vincent S]

Thanks for sharing ✨

I think most if not all go through this phase. Its normal.  
And the spiritual ego will show its head here as well.  
But in time, that passes too. The more the ego shows itself, the more it gets unraveled.   
It subsides more and more, the further you go.   

For me, just recently there was a big shift. And what I can share is that:  
Through Direct Experience, Everyone Will Know. They Will Know, When They Will Know.  
Not Only Will They Know: They Will Become It. What They Always Longed For.
 

[cataplin]

Thank you for your answers! its a matter of accepting, true