Happily ever after collapsing into the infinite orgasm singularity

[iboughtleosbooklist]

Only to respawn back into the chain of being.

This has gotta be a myth surely?

But then I think of the best moments of my life, really what was behind them but an incredible feeling. You know those feelings with friends where you are crying so hard you are laughing. Seems to pair up well with the cosmic joke. But surely that feeling is totally relative. And it doesn't last long.

Is hedonism enough to cope with infinity? Or does God just want to stay eternally in blissful ignorance. I honestly don't know. I can only remember this life. But memories are weird in themselves, isn't it just wholeness appearing as a memory? I need DMT, but 0self would just tell me DMT is part of the dream. I don't want to be God, it's too lonely, it's too much responsibility. I just want to know if this situation is okay. I've always been pessimistic.

[iboughtleosbooklist]

I'll admit I'm extremely selfish. But aren't I just an expression of God? So how can I feel at blame for this? God chose my life. Is my life the perfect one? Will it just repeat forever? I wonder if anyone ever finds out. Only time will tell. I've never enjoyed puzzles.

[iboughtleosbooklist]

Nah this is it. FML. Great news when I feel good, damnation when I'm suffering. Time for more meditation