Involuntary Stomach Contractions And Backsliding

[NutellaTC]

Hey guys . how are you , I hope we'll  

 

well lets get get to the point , about a month ago i was stuck in some type of phase while meditating where I was having involuntary movements ,contractions , screaming and other weird shit then I had an awakening experience  my ego desolved a little but came back stronger within a day or two  , the contractions continued while meditating  after my ego came back then a couple of days later I had another awakening experience this was quite strong (made me feel super silly btw) after it I felt a sense of meaninglessness stopped meditating , indulged in really unhealthy food , bought a PS4 and a huge tv moved by myself  ,  Stoped exercising  played video games for 10 hours a day and that life style lasted for like a month  that's how my ego came back lol , now I'm back on my meditation and I'm having the involuntary contractions again had one episode of involuntary screaming , I feel a super tigh sensation in my chest ,   i can't  speak  I want to but I just feel awful when I try , during the day I become aware of the sensations in my body and stop functioning , I start to walk super slow at work and I just don't respond how I should I want to but I just can't . 

 

Any thoughts on this ? 

Thanks  

[ajasatya]

@NutellaTC why are you doing all this? are you trying to escape from your social anxiety?

your body is pointing to your lies. actually it's not just pointing. it's SCREAMING.

you have to heal yourself before trying to transcend your ego. i'd say you're lacking forgiveness/humility.

stop running away asap.

[Arman]

Hmmm sounds to me like energetic openings and release of charges as a result of meditation. 

I think it is a common experience for people to swing all the way back into unconscious behavior after minor 'awakenings' or energetic shifts. There's kind a pendulum effect.

Anyway it sounds to me like you're holding on to something you refuse to let go of. The experience wants to release and integrate but you may be resisting it.

Rest more, meditate more, and completely allow the experience to happen.

Hit up a doc if you feel too bad.