Toxic Masculinity - The only solution

[Striving for more]

The only solution right now is toxic masculinity. 

There's a time and place for everything. 

I was "confident" at the club, but it wasn't strong enough, wasn't convincing enough, hence why I didn't get the girl, I self sabotaged. 

My guess is that I just haven't gone deep enough with confidence, I need to be arrogant, I need to be toxic & near sociopathic. 

I need to not care what people think to the point that it's rediculous, I need to be agressive, I need to have literally 0 fears. I need to walk & talk & act like it's my last day on this fucking planet. 

Fuck education, fuck life purpose, fuck this fucking forum & all the fucking nerds & even fuck myself, fuck the bad parts of me, fuck my subconscious mind, I consciously decide what to be. 

Iraqi girl did you catch my eye, & so close did I get to seducing you, I had done the hard part but I self sabotaged & ruined the moment, & now you won't respond to my text. 

Iraqi girl I will find you again, either literal you or a girl very similar to you, & I won't settle for less. I may have to fuck some more boring 6's to get better at the sex but Im not exactly enthusiastic about it. 

Toxic masculinity & nothing else now, because I feel depressed, but therapy won't get me that girl, therapy won't give me supreme confidence. 

& I can't be paranoid walking at night alone anymore, if a big mean guy comes with a knife I'll tell him stab if me you want, you're not taking my phone, & I'll go down swinging. 

& I'm not apologising anymore or supplicating, I'm fucking angry & i'm fueling that anger right. 

But I Still feel depressed, but I have to bury it for now, I just need a girl like that, my ego is fragile so I have to make it right to my ego, I can't bang average girls anymore I'm past that stage now. 

That beautiful fucking girl, So so beautiful, 9.9/10 they wouldnt give me a chance but that 1 chick felt the connection & I fucked it up, so angry. 

I aint even looking at this forum, I am not at that stage anymore & I don't care about health anymore I just care about becoming a bad motherfucker & going down swining (No not in literal physical sense but, I have to do things when I feel scared embarassed I have to be more acgtive & more decisive & more persistent & stick with something until I succeed).

Toxic Masculinity is back.