Content vs Structure in Dating

[Kalki Avatar]

Just to let you know, both are equally important. 

Structure: The strength of your mind's frame work (personality strength). Which also translates as confidence. 

Content: the type of your personality. Likes and dislikes. Your style, energy, nationality and anything else you can add into it. Basically concepts and meanings. What is crucial about content in socializing more than your own content, is being good at reading the social content for contextualizing the situation. 

 

I struggled with Structure (confidence in the past) and thought the extreme of only one being particularly important. Well, I actually did quite well without having that much confidence to be honest. Now that I have more pride, many girls dont like that, but at the same time they do on a sexual level. Having too much pride creates a frame of somewhat more war between you and the other. I would say in my experience that Structure is even more important in person and mid/long term. The reason confidence is necessary is not just because its attractive. Its attractive because it is useful. It makes you capable of doing many things for survival. 

Anyone trying to get good with people. I would say is better not to focus on the content first. Focus on your structure strength (confidence) by accumulation of experiences, habits and knowledge to build a solid ground in your mind. After finushing the path of building confidence, you dont have to think about it anymore, nor even try. The confidence is automatical and unconscious. After confidence is built, you can place your awareness on content inside social situations. 

Then after getting that solid Structure, you can focus on creating a strategy, changing your style, being positive, learning how to pickup, neg, shooting interesting openers, playing games, seduction, etc. Leave all that for later, you will waste time doing it all together. 

Content. Now about content. It is just as crucial as the Structure, specially at the pickup and beginning phase. Because it is what intrigues the girl for getting to know you. In person, Structure has more value. Vía facetime both have the same amount of value. But via text content has somewhat more value at first. 

So, the only way to get a girl out vía text is if practically if you have a great ig profile. Even thou you might waste alot of time. The way ig works is the following. 

First, having no expectation of if you will get the girl out. When doing a pickup, you cant even be thinking is pickup what you are doing. You just approach. Follow her, then see if she follows back. If she does, now you can text her in order to appear at the top of her dm. But before texting her, see if you really like her. If thats the case, like at least 4 pics from her in order for her to notice you in her notificacions and check your ig while knowing that you are interested in her. The reason for going for ig instead of dating sites is because you can comply actions without having to talk. Like following and liking her pics. After this, you can send one post  you like from her vía dm and comment something you like or unique ("This is a vibe"). If she respond, you then answer vía voice note to create more attraction and comfort. All of this has to be done from a source of simply wanting to do it. You cant feel like she should do anything (expect to go out with her). Through this, you can continue uploading stories for her to like you more and you commenting on hers. The only thing that will create the possiblity of both of you going out is if you did all these without hurry/expectation and from an attractive/we frame. She has to feel in the way you talk that you feel attractive for her to also get attratcted unconsciously. You literally have to imagine/visualize a new frame, practice being into it and then snipe it out onto her. Only after sufficient attraction and comfort, she will proceed to go out. It will be obvious. Other wise you are just gambling into loosing. Social media gives you more control but takes alot longer. In person, everything is at ligthing speed but just as fast you can fail too. 

All of this is easier said than done and takes patience, non-compulsiveness/relaxation/self completeness/non expectation/inner space. 

Language can be tricky in dating too, specially when learning from others. There is stuff that only you will have to figure out. 

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Kalki Avatar