Mom

[Gianna]

You can't make sacrifice the core of your definition of Love. Like, "I know this person loves me if they would sacrifice themselves for me." Can you see how unloving this feels when you are on the other end of it? It feels unloving because it feels like a condition– because it is one. 

"I will love you if..."
"I know you will love me if..." 

 

That's not true love. True love is: 

"I am going to give you whatever I can; whatever I am capable of giving. And if I can't give it to you I am going to give it to myself so one day I can share it with you." 

You see, if you believe sacrifice signifies love it is because you sacrifice yourself for the people you love. It might seem– in the moment– like giving up your needs so you can give or help another person is the most loving thing to do. You might even do it without them asking because the feeling of love towards them makes you want to do it anyway. Love will do that to you; it makes you want to share it with another person. But you– Mom– you don't share it you just give it away. Do you see? Giving is not sharing. You cannot share with someone when you are taking it away from yourself. That is not what sharing is. I never thought I would be teaching my mom about sharing. hehehe. But think about it like this...

Picture a little girl giving her toy– that she loves– away to another little girl she is playing with. Now, this is a sad scene from an outsider. You just see sadness wash over the little girl's body as she gives her favorite toy away. Because she thinks it is the 'loving' thing to do. As a parent or a teacher, you might say, "No don't give away what you love. Share what you love by sharing the happiness it gives you with this other person. Share your happiness because it is the best thing you can share with someone." 
 

If you give away your love, your love is gone. You feel only the void it left which makes you resentful and angry, maybe even a little confused (because you thought giving it away would bring you more love). But now, the only thing you can give is hate because someone took what you love. Except, nobody took anything. You gave it away by taking it from yourself and now you are hating yourself for it and blaming the person you gave it to. 

When you make sacrifice the definition of love, one person or the other will lose. Either you give and lose or you keep and they lose. You either take away from yourself or take away from the other person. You are constantly playing a win-lose scenario which is really a lose-lose scenario because the love is gone. You are not sharing love in connection with another person; you are forever creating disconnection by creating this dynamic. Disconnection is not Love.

Love is together not apart. 

Love is joined not separate. 

Love is shared not given and received. 

Love is not a transaction, it is union. 

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by Gianna

[SriSriJustinBieber]

So true! Love can never be a transaction. Therefore, there is no such thing as 'unconditional' love, because there is no 'conditional' love to begin with <3 <3 <3

[SriSriJustinBieber]

Here is Bentinho Massaro's take on this :

 Osho says interesting stuff too about this

[Gianna]

14 hours ago, lxlichael said:

@Gianna

Just beautiful. Just beautiful. What a breath of fresh air it was to read this.

 

Ah, thank you!!! 

[Gianna]

13 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

there is no such thing as 'unconditional' love, because there is no 'conditional' love to begin with <3 <3 <3

Ooo amazing!!! <3 Also, unconditional love to something else is not very loving to yourself. Especially when that other thing is hurting you but "it's okay" because it's "unconditional love". Pfff!!!!

[RickyFitts]

On 9/2/2021 at 0:18 AM, Gianna said:

Love is together not apart. 

Love is joined not separate. 

Love is shared not given and received. 

Love is not a transaction, it is union. 

So beautiful 

[Gianna]

You can't make sacrifice the core of your definition of Love. Like, "I know this person loves me if they would sacrifice themselves for me." Can you see how unloving this feels when you are on the other end of it? It feels unloving because it feels like a condition– because it is one. 

"I will love you if..."
"I know you will love me if..." 

 

That's not true love. True love is: 

"I am going to give you whatever I can; whatever I am capable of giving. And if I can't give it to you I am going to give it to myself so one day I can share it with you." 

You see, if you believe sacrifice signifies love it is because you sacrifice yourself for the people you love. It might seem– in the moment– like giving up your needs so you can give or help another person is the most loving thing to do. You might even do it without them asking because the feeling of love towards them makes you want to do it anyway. Love will do that to you; it makes you want to share it with another person. But you– Mom– you don't share it you just give it away. Do you see? Giving is not sharing. You cannot share with someone when you are taking it away from yourself. That is not what sharing is. I never thought I would be teaching my mom about sharing. hehehe. But think about it like this...

Picture a little girl giving her toy– that she loves– away to another little girl she is playing with. Now, this is a sad scene from an outsider. You just see sadness wash over the little girl's body as she gives her favorite toy away. Because she thinks it is the 'loving' thing to do. But how unloving is this towards herself? This is what she is missing. She is not seeing the big picture of Love. As a parent or a teacher, you might say, "No don't give away what you love. Share what you love by sharing the happiness it gives you with this other person. Because sharing your happiness is the best thing you can share with someone." 

If you give away your love, your love is gone. You will feel only the void it left which makes you resentful and angry, maybe even a little confused (because you thought giving it away would bring you more love). But now, the only thing you can give is hate because someone took what you love. Except, nobody took anything. You gave it away by taking it from yourself and now you are hating yourself for it and blaming the person you gave it to. 

When you make sacrifice the definition of love, one person or the other will lose. Either you give and lose or you keep and they lose. You either take away from yourself or take away from the other person. You are constantly playing a win-lose scenario which is really a lose-lose scenario because the love is gone. You are not sharing love in connection with another person; you are forever creating disconnection by creating this dynamic. Disconnection is not Love.

Love is together not apart. 

Love is joined not separate. 

Love is shared not given and received. 

Love is not a transaction, it is union. 

Edited September 4, 2021 by Gianna