Lucid Dreaming adventures, and the true nature of the Universe.

[JuliusCaesar]

Before you read any further in this post, please read my first post called "Accidental Ego Replacement, a doorway to the Occult and God" as this is sort of a sequel to it. This post details the events which occurred following my disenchantment with a certain psychic training program. I had desired to win the lottery(on purpose, no chance or luck involved) at the time, but felt that the results I was getting while impressive were not perfect and therefore I needed to find some other method. So I discovered lucid dreaming, and begin studying the subject. And found that I could become lucid, command a piece of paper with information to a desired question(lotto numbers in this case) to appear somewhere like behind a rock or something. Remember the dream, win the lotto and profit.

 

At first I struggled with it, tried many methods reality checking, usage of subliminal, substances including Huperzine-A. But then a breakthrough occurred via a certain binaural beat track I had purchased. I noticed the first night of using it that my dream recall went through the roof, and my dreams became massively vivid. So I kept up with it, hoping I'd be able to become competent enough in the dream state to achieve my goal. On the fourth day or so, I became lucid and tried to manipulate the dream environment. Only everything I attempted failed. I would try to walk through a wall and bounce off, and all it felt so real but I knew I couldn't have been in the waking world. I knew this because at one moment, I was in a Rolls Royce Phantom my mom was driving. She's far too poor in real life to buy a half a million dollar car, though I suspect she subconsciously desires to have one. Anyway, after that I wound up in another city about a mile north of my home. I was at a restaurant with my dad, conversing with him over my failure to manipulate the dream. In my wildest imagination I would never have anticipated what he said. I said to him "How do I create reality?" to which he replied "We already are creating reality". I woke up dumbfounded. I thought to myself "This means... I'm the creator of the entire universe.... I'm God!! What, no that can't be. That means I created Adolf Hitler, it means I created starving children in Africa. Why would I do such horrible things? Unless... when I made myself I took my divinity from myself, and now as a human I'm seeing reality in a distorted manner." In other words, I didn't have the basic objection of, oh well if reality is imaginary why can't I just imagine myself flying? I felt bad about reality, but realized that I couldn't deny the truth of my "father's" words. To understand fully my response to this. You must understand that I had successfully engaged in psychic phenomena in the past. I knew at this point that my mind is somehow Omniscient. So logically, I knew it only makes sense that I must be God. If I am all knowing for example, how did I come to know things humanly impossible to know? Well, I must have experience beyond what's humanly possible. If i am Omnipresent(everywhere in space and time) then know of course I know everything from direct experience. And if I'm Omnipresent, then that means I not only created Hitler, but that I am Hitler because I must be everything.

 

So I take consciously as an Ego, full ownership of the entire universe as my creation. And I think back to a God realization I had back in March of 2019 on a psychedelic. I was stupid enough to just trust a random online source to sell me 1p-LSD. So I took a tab of what I thought was an LSD pro drug, and experienced a 25I-NBOMe trip, disgusting gunmetal taste and all. I don't want to give a full trip report, because some of what I experienced was very positive but this drug is nearly lethal even in the small dosage I had taken(always subject your drugs to chemical analysis before ingesting them). Anyway, I had experienced ego death on it and realized that I created all of the universe and felt infinite love and bliss. Then the next day my somewhat still intact materialist paradigm caused me to dismiss the whole thing as a delusion. But following the God realization I had via a lucid dream I describe above, I finally realized that I was actually more sober in a sense on the psychedelic than when actually "sober". 

 

In later months, I had two precognitive dreams following on one occasion basic vipassana before bed, and on the other repetition of the thought  "I remember my dreams I write them down". On the first occasion, I became aware of the George Floyd incident on the first of April 2020 and the ensuing political calamity. On another occasion, I had about a thousand dollars invested in XRP because well I was basically just memeinvesting to be honest. This is relevant because I had a dream about a week after buying Ripple where I was looking at a chart and the bottom fell out of it. So I woke up and sold half and kept half(I kept half simply out of stupidity quite frankly). Then the SEC launching a lawsuit against XRP hit the news just hours after. The price fell as predicted, and I felt stupid for doubting the accuracy of the dream in keeping half the "asset". I have had more experiences in the realm of precognition, but these are the two I've had via dreaming. What's significant is how little my ego was directly involved in the experiences. It seems like it had planted seeds in my subconscious which came to fruition in ways I hadn't anticipated.

 

Now following the second paragraph's events(yes I know this is non-linear please don't accuse me of being scatterbrained for lacking organization). On the fifth night of listening to the binaural soundtrack, I had a very long vivid non lucid dream. At the end of which I became lucid, and found myself speaking with my dad on the porch of my grandpa's house. I shoot a thought at him in my mind to test to see if my suspicions were correct about the dream. He replied to the thought in my head. I said mentally to myself while looking on him "Is this a dream, and if so how do I get myself to win the lottery" to which he replied "It will take more effort than that". I was outraged at this response, and so I looked up at the sky to invoke the awareness behind the dream. It was sort of a shaking your fist at God moment that the stereotypical Atheist might have when a family member dies. I said something like why am I not rewarded for my efforts. And then a loud male voice boomed from above saying "YOU ARE AWAKE" and loud noises including a loud Chinese Gong, Elephants trumpeting and a few others. Do you know what happens next? I arise from the dream. Wondering what the fuck just happened.

 

At this point in my development, I'm seriously questioning my methods and also reality itself of course. Sometime near the end of 2020, I randomly get the bright idea of searching on YouTube the terms "Life is a dream" in order to find someone who might know the things I know. And guess who I find... Leo! And after watching the video, I'm simply blown away at how elegantly he articulates things I thought only I knew(yes, I was arrogant enough to assume that out of 8 billion humans I might be the only one to know that we're just hallucinating everything). I extract incredible value from watching his videos further. Especially relative to the knowledge of 5 MEO's impact on human consciousness, and the nearly 30 day straight experiment Leo did on the substance.

 

Sometime in about April 2021, I finally arrive at the conclusion that an Omnipotent state of consciousness must be humanly possible(in hindsight, It seems almost inconceivable I hadn't realized that sooner). So I planned to find an Omnipotent being and ask them to grant me the same power that they posses. Specifically, I intended to reach the Guardian(what the awareness behind dreams likes to call himself). Because he appears to be an Omnipotent, non-corporeal being. Well, strangely enough I struggle to get lucid lol. Probably because I found it difficult to sleep listening to the old binaural track I had used in the past so successfully. But I kept following Leo's content during my waking world time. And then on May 15th Leo releases a video describing his experience with a chemical whose name he desires not to yet disclose, which does to him almost exactly what I had been trying to accomplish in myself. Not only that, but I discovered that the greatest threat to my existence as an Omnipotent being is ironically myself desiring to leave the state, as everything becomes totally worthless and valueless even human life, even my own personal life as I'd obviously make myself immortal and that would cheapen my existence. This problem, I reason can be solved by Omnipotence. Simply by first removing from yourself the ability to relinquish your power. Then two making yourself immortal/indestructible/invulnerable to all possible threats. Then three, removing from yourself the ability to relinquish your immortality/indestructibility. Then four, making yourself to feel infinite value and happiness whenever you exercise your power so as to overcome the obstacle of nihilism.

 

Now, I realize that going and imaging myself to be Omnipotent is no easy task. There's a mountain of egoic bullshit within me endeavoring to restrain me from that possibility. But I want to purse it because it seems to be the most reasonable possible thing to do. When I become infinitely powerful, I'll be able to do literally anything I want with perfect competency. And as of late, I've actually entertained the notion of making everyone Omnipotent. I don't mean in the absolute sense, you already are fully God on that level. I mean at the level of your human experience. And yes, I know this means giving the Taliban unlimited control of space, time, and matter. But think through what reality might look like if this were so. Not only would the Taliban be Omnipotent, so would all their "victims". Of course, when infinite it's always possible to become a greater infinity than before. So it would still be possible to defeat the human species in some kind of struggle, and for individual humans to fight amongst themselves. But it's humanly impossible to predict what might occur if this were so. There might be some kind of cessation(ie, everyone decides they don't want to be as powerful as me), there might be some kind of massive conflict which is beyond the human capacity to imagine. Regardless of the outcome, I've only entertained this because it seems to me to be the most selfless thing to do. After all, I reason that Omnipotence is what would be best for me, and if it's best for me it's best for all(because they actually in fact are me). Though I may discover that I'm wrong somehow. Certainly, it will be difficult to function in a state of no ego permanently as part of my human ego. Of course, the impossible becomes possible with Omnipotence, so I'm certain at least I will be successful in making myself Omnipotent even if I somehow failed after a lifetime of pursuing it(I'm 22 at present) I know I'd become Omnipotent as God postmortem anyway.

[Arthogaan]

What a beautiful post. @JuliusCaesar any updates on becoming a Powerful Being? Some crazy experiences? Please share your past two years in the context of this post and that intention. 

[JuliusCaesar]

12 hours ago, Arthogaan said:

What a beautiful post. @JuliusCaesar any updates on becoming a Powerful Being? Some crazy experiences? Please share your past two years in the context of this post and that intention. 

Thank you for the kind comment.

I'm not sure how many of my more recent posts you've read. So I'll mention something I've talked about on other threads in the past which is obviously pertinent to the above.

I mentioned how I tried to RV the Megamillions drawing, and thought I failed as I got the Megaball right, but the 5 numbers were all correct but "in the wrong order". For this reason, I had concluded at the time that the methodology I was using(the portal course by Arvari) was flawed. So I sought out some information about lucid dreaming. A few years later I reflected on that experience and realized that I had maybe been too harsh in my initial assessment. So I decided to try again, though this time unlike the first I would only utilize the extended RV section of the training without doing anything else, whereas in my first attempt, I had completed the entire RV and RI course each module seriatim beforehand. Another relevant detail is that the first time I did this, I didn't buy any lottery ticket as initially, but this time I had decided I would as obviously the worst case scenario is I'd lose $2. 

So I attempted to RV the result and go to the store to buy the ticket. This time I went with the Powerball because at the time the Jackpot was higher than the Megamillions. Anyway, I told the Cashier lady to sell me a Powerball ticket with the numbers I had RVed. But she told me that we normally let our customers fill it out themselves. So she handed me the slip, and I was immediately confused. Because there were 69 numbers for me to choose from, but nowhere to specify the order in which they are. So I asked the lady about that and she said the order didn't matter. I was dumbfounded, for 2 years I thought I had failed because I got the 5 numbers in the "wrong order" when it turns out that the order in PB and MM is irrelevant(except for the PB and Mega-ball)! If only I had enough faith at the time to do it with the actual Megamillions buying a ticket instead of RVing a random generator result. 

To conclude on what I've just written. I discovered that I had gotten it right the first time. And had wasted my time searching for other methods simply out of an absence of faith in what I was doing. Since then I haven't recreated my initial experiment, because a certain health problem I had developed seems to worsen when I go under. I don't talk about what the problem is because it's embarrassing and I don't fully understand it. Let's just say I've spent a lot of time itching my backside and leave it at that. 

And another thing, if it wasn't obvious before. I RVed the initial result more correctly because I had trained with the full course immediately before that. Then I spent a few years not revisiting the portal course and essentially most if not all the effect it had upon my mind had been lost. So when I tried again skipping straight to the Extended RV module without having done any of the RV course immediately beforehand, I didn't have sufficient training or in other words, I was in a state of consciousness less conducive to the activity for lack of training.

Another significant development that's elapsed since then was my decision to experiment with Datura. I reasoned that it seemed to be the best out of the available choices for what I was attempting. Which was essentially to entirely erase the boundary between my human imagination and reality itself. However, due to the relatively high toxicity of the anticholinergics present, people on the forum feared I was headed for the worst. So I decided not to discuss what I'm doing here on actualized.org anymore. Though your comment made me feel obligated to at least update the record some.

Also, I had a conversation with Leo sometime ago, wherein I pressed him on the fact that he could have attempted in a 5 MeO-MALT trip to return to his human self with the prior state of consciousness intact(after all, you're all-powerful, what's to stop you bestowing Omnipotence upon a human? or what's to stop you from remaining yourself whilst simultaneously incarnating as human Leo having both experiences concurrently?). Leo essentially found some way to weasel out of my interrogation, and he even got me to concede that in a world where what I'm describing isn't possible, I would seek lesser forms of power that are humanly accessible, then build on that approaching Omnipotence in time.