A friend

[Gabith]

I have a friend for a few years with whom I got along well. But for a few months I don't feel comfortable with him anymore.
He seems to me very egocentric, since I know him he is often in depression, he complains a lot, he judges a lot the people who disrespected him or who did not act as he would like.
He thinks about the past all the time, imagines a lot of negative scenarios for the future. I've talked to him a lot to try to help him but even though he agrees with what I say, he doesn't do anything to change and he continues to live complaining and playing the victim.
He has also developed paranoia in the last few months, he checks 10 times if his car is locked, he goes to park far away or he thinks he has less risk of being robbed, he always imagines a lot of scenarios that seem impossible or ridiculous.

Yet he is not bad, he seems nice but I feel that something is wrong.
I'm writing here because I'm wondering if he is toxic or not and if I should cut contact with him?

I have the impression from some experiences with meditation that the people who have the most problems are also the most self-centered. And can be toxic without meaning to be

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[flowboy]

On 25/06/2021 at 11:57 PM, Gabith said:

Yet he is not bad, he seems nice but I feel that something is wrong.

Trust that feeling.

On 25/06/2021 at 11:57 PM, Gabith said:

I'm wondering if he is toxic or not and if I should cut contact with him

Whether you do or not, you will drift apart anyway.

 

On 25/06/2021 at 11:57 PM, Gabith said:

I've talked to him a lot to try to help him but even though he agrees with what I say, he doesn't do anything to change

Then he's not ready to, and you can't save him in any way. Nothing you can do to change people who are not ready to and directly asking for your help. A life lesson we all learn at some point.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

 

It's even a bit misguided, although well-intentioned. Who are you to decide for someone else what's best for them? He is currently choosing to stay in this dysfunctional way of being, and that is perfectly appropriate for him at this point in his journey.

You are uncomfortable with it, so you must move on.

Edited June 27, 2021 by flowboy