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Bournebee

Having Zero Family Support?

8 posts in this topic

Hi Guys 

A question about having zero family/support.

I'm a single Dad of one. I could really do with family support but I've got no one. 

My mother has died and my father is schizophrenic and has nothing to do with me. The same for my extended family Aunts and Uncles. My brothers are not interested and actually I feel like they take pleasure from any misfortune I experience in my life. Which I just don't understand??

I'd really like to build a new family and friends network. One that is loving and supportive. 

Anyone else in similar situation or has been in this situation and come out the other side??

Thanks guys

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@Bournebee

Its great that you are aware of the Schadenfreude others are sadly a victim of.  It shows you have come far and that life is removing these negative people for you.  Seems you're on the right path.

As to tips on finding the right support.  It will find you.  Just let life continue to clean the garbage out of your life and sit, wait, do your development work and I believe things will turn out for the best.  However things work out are for the best.

Faith is not a big thing these days, but it does work.  Believe me

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@Bournebee Hello!  I'm afraid I have no life experience to match your particular situation, but I'll match @GTITurbolover's suggestion that 'it will find you' - with the caveat that you are open to it, and not desparate.

Desparation closes things, and close-mindedness (it must be this kind of friendship or NOTHING) closes things.  So long as you open yourself to routes to find people - even if it's at a slight inconvenience - I don't think you can go too wrong.  Of course, I've never raised a child, so please bear my bias in mind :)

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I refuse to accept support from my family because they think there's something wrong with me when it's all them.

I won't allow myself to be the scapegoat.

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17 minutes ago, CuteYTDog said:

I refuse to accept support from my family because they think there's something wrong with me when it's all them.

I won't allow myself to be the scapegoat.

Haha. Spot on. If someone thinks there is something wrong with you, in the garbage they go. 

The problem with that however, is you're going to be on your own, because 99% of people think there is sometbing wrong with them, and if they think there is something wrong with them, they also think there is something wrong with you too!

Welcome to samsara.  Least the weather is nice now and again :P

So the issue is, what can be done about this condition? 

Nothing. Cos you can't win here, it's a zero sum game and the only solution is to understand what this here really is.

Edited by GTITurbolover

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1 minute ago, GTITurbolover said:

Haha. Spot on. If someone thinks there is something wrong with you, in the garbage they go. 

The problem with that however, is you're going to be on your own, because 99% of people think there is sometbing wrong with them, and if they think there is something wrong with them, they also think there is something wrong with you too!

Welcome to samsara.  Least the weather is nice now and again :P

So the issue is, what can be done about this condition? 

Long story.

Right now, I'm just trying to make sure I get the right amount of sleep at night.

Before I start applying for jobs again.

Sleep is so much important to me right now.

All I care about right now.

Sleep.

My appearance has changed for the better recently because of the amount of sleep I've gotten.

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Thanks for the comments, suggestions and support guys.

Keep any practical suggestions coming! 

Good to see some positivity, hopefully I will be successful in building a new network / family / friends. 

It is a struggle at this moment but I do feel optimistic about the future. :)

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You dont really need your family expecially if they are behaving that way towards you. Build your own social circle.

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