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Preety_India

My voice from the grave speaks to me

47 posts in this topic

I'm trying to take a break from the whole situation right now. The Suicide and the aftermath have taken a toll on me.

I wish  I never read that thread and never watched that video. It's cursed.

My haunted spirit is never going to forget this nightmare. 

I felt on the verge of dying 

I felt hyper emotional.

This wasn't okay by any means.

 

I'll consciously stay away from anything that makes me emotional in this place..

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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And the whole fallout of the incident and how it takes a toll on you. 

It's hard to grasp and I had little foresight going into it.

Like I said before, whether you move within a system or away from the system you're still a part of the system.

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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But I tell myself this- 

That I'll still emerge stronger out of this.

 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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Whatever happened here in the past week has triggered me big time.

I have to essentially learn how to stay away from triggers because triggers will always exist.

And trying to fight these triggers will only make these triggers bigger.

These triggers exist for a reason and the greater system eventually takes care of it.

Trust that greater system.

Let it do it's job 

 

But for now, the wisest thing to do is to stay away from triggers if you're an emotional person because triggers are always exactly pointing at emotional people to get a rise out of them.

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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I'm learning a lot of lessons about social mastery here as well as how to be more compassionate to the self.

It's easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want when you are surrounded by an ocean of triggers.

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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The biggest lesson that I learned from this fallout was - be compassionate to the self.

Something I so deeply wish that Soonhei had listened to.

Why wasn't he compassionate to himself?

Why wasn't the search for truth less important for him than being compassionate to himself?

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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One way of being compassionate to the self is to look into empty space like the ocean.

5aiz6t.jpg

Just forget that anything around you even exists.

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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