Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

Power statement: 

I have a lot of disadvantages and vulnerabilities. 

"There are qualities that overcome the disadvantages that I have"

Specifically who I really am and what my body truly is will/has overcome. I've seen it and see it even now.  

[Proserpina]

Service to Self and Service to other are like fractured awakenings that become whole.  Neither is superior.

I prefer Steven Pavlina's take.  Neither is superior and polarization remains even when full awakening occurs. 

Thats my best explaination, yet

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

The masculine and feminine symbolize that fractured awakening.

Service to other comes with a host of awakenings related to 'other' like infinity of Gods, sovereignty of the other.  She struggles with seeing her body as God. Just as the masculine struggles with seeing her body as God but has no problem seeing his body and ego as God. 

A woman's gaze is powerful. 

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

"All of life boils down to fear vs love. Either you will side with fear or you will side with love. If you side with fear you will become a devil and if you side with love you will become God." Leo Gura.  

Polarization results in siding with Love from two different positions,  eventually siding totally. While still holding a preference. Its an alignment with God.  

It is a way to see awakening in practical reality,  in relationships.  Everyone already has degrees of awakening.  

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

If you know Love, you know that sucking in, consuming,  indulging, savouring all result in an awakening to the Body being Love. As well as simply mindful attention.  Investment in the self. 

Masculine typically does this.  

Uplifting, giving, loving all result in the awakening of the other being Love. As well as mindful attention. 

Feminine typically does this.  

You can see this play out in real life between the masculine and feminine.

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Love is the natural state of our world.  The default. 

"When you stop thought, you stop resistance and you naturally float to the top" AH

The body feels amazing as love. You are more likely to invest in the body if you know it is love. 

The body is Love. Others are Love.  Stop thought and the nightmare ceases and Eden appears. 

Its only our resistance and fear that stops it. 

 

[Proserpina]

It's not a coincidence that AH says source is Wellbeing. 

Any kind of Wellbeing will pull us into source.  

Just like a beautiful painting pulls us into source. 

Service to self is the wellbeing of the self and service to other is the wellbeing of the other. 

Service to other- Realizing Wellbeing (source) promotes wellbeing (investment in the self) which promotes realizing Wellbeing (source).

Service to other- Realizing Wellbeing (source) promotes wellbeing (investment in the other) which promotes realizing Wellbeing (source). 

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

That's just my experience. Certain things pull me into the absolute very quickly. Wellbeing is one of them. 

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

When the cork floats Wellbeing (source) and wellbeing ('relative'- world of objects and form) 'occurs'. Passive principle, yin. Through passivity default state of things occur.  

With service  Wellbeing (source) and wellbeing (relative) 'occurs'.  Active principle, yang. Through activity default state of things occur. 

Pathway to healing. It's how to heal the body and others.  

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Body naturally returns to a state of wellbeing with the realization of Wellbeing (source). It is not a huge jump. They are on the same frequency. Body naturally and easily converts Wellbeing (source) to wellbeing (relative). 

[Proserpina]

Maybe if you focus on Wellbeing long enough, it becomes a belief and then solidifies into a form that sticks. It has to become engraved into you/the thing. 

It's easy to convert Wellbeing into form but it doesn't normally stick. You have to be repetitive and consistent in your focus.  

I don't know how Jesus did it. 

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Vortex manifested = Wellbeing converted into form

Translating non physical vibrational escrow = Wellbeing converted into form

I think.  

You're in the same frequency as everything you want (which is fundamentally wellbeing) through Wellbeing (source)

Edited June 9, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

('relative'- world of objects and form)

[Proserpina]

I think it does no good to demonise immature 'God' individuals,  service to self (like my Dad).  At its core,  service to self is beautiful and equal to 'Love', service to other, which is clear especially at the final stages of development.  

Polarization and distinctions are a necessary evil and really blossom at later stages according to my visions.  Demonising them only holds them back.  By all means,  stay away from them.  I have an intervention order against my Dad, but don't demonise or you're just as bad as them only unpolarized. 

Many people with personality disorders are immature service to self.  They understand something the vast majority of unpolarized society don't. 

[Proserpina]

I just want to be able to write in peace.  There are people whom I support and defend by default it seems,  default friendship, that's how it is with xxNJs, but I don't really want excessive conflict in any form. Those people are both worthy of support and friendship as well of course. 

[Proserpina]

Continu'd 

the body reacts strongly to Wellbeing (source), especially around the spine and head. 

Wellbeing (form) occurs, positive feelings in the body. If held long enough beliefs form and further manifestations occur I've experienced. All rooted in Wellbeing (source). 

[Proserpina]

Matured service to self energy: 

Singular, self investing,  self loving, contented, introverted

"The beautiful ones"

Mice experiment- "Some – dubbed the “beautiful ones” – spent their time eating, drinking, and grooming themselves in seclusion. Elsewhere, mice formed gangs of cannibalistic, raping plunderers. Gradually, with a cohort of mice who would no longer actively mate or engage constructively in society, the population died out."

 

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Service to other energy:

Their power lies in their gaze.  They are witches.  Bewitching. 

 

 

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Service to other typically get taken for granted because they are giving.  If they become unwell or self isolating people can become sick who were otherwise relying on their gaze to remain healthy.  

In my visions I was service to other.  I must be integrating service to self.  

Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting

And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here soothing my narcissism
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out
Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away
Before I pine away

Edited June 11, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

They anchor and hold the vibration of the planet.  Their gaze isn't noticed,  because it is the default vibration of the planet.  Until it isn't,  then it's appreciated.  

When they start to integrate service to self they take their own love and turn it on themselves,  reaping the benefits.  

That's why Matt Kahn encourages the feminine to speak I love yous to themselves,  integrating service to self.  Like the masculine already has mastered.