Proserpina's Journal

[Proserpina]

On 10/8/2022 at 0:39 AM, Proserpina said:

Yang - Life energy

The world had grown cold.  Depressed.  I could feel it.  The planet was full of Life energy at the expense of Breath. Difficult to explain. The collective had become narcissistic (Life energy) due to too much Breath.  Without Breath Life energy started to drain.  Then there was a calling for Breath. The rebalancing involved the balance of Life energy and Breath. There were individuals who came forward who had the qualities required for the collective to have hope, love, and faith again.  Not saying I am some kind of savior but I have always had access to a level of consciousness where I could Breathe Life energy into things, where I was warmth and fullness.  Maybe in spite of my fool archetype or maybe because of it.  I don't know.  When the individuals came forward the rebalancing of the planet occurred.  I required Life energy to be heard, which my communications with my unconscious/entities provided. 

Pandora (Breath) opened pandora's box by Breathing too much Life energy.  Life energy (collective/masculine) then became stagnant, narcissistic, and self-worshipping.  Life energy is seeming perfection, not in need of Breath.  Blind to its own limitation.  Love created the Evil of this world. 

You can see The Origination Story play out in relationships between men and women.  Women are Breath and men are Life energy. 

Love and Life or 'God and Love' are also ever-present qualities with us, right now.  They are either in balance or they are not.  They are either full or weak.  Frequently weaker in the non-heavenly sphere and strong in the heavenly sphere.  In the above example, there was a fullness of Life and not a lot of Love, due to too much Love.  There were half angels (fallen angels).  Lucifer is an example of a half-angel, full of Life and not Love. 

Edited December 26, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Sublime gaze turned toward the self brings the self to Life.   Love brings you to Life.  Be your own fairy godmother.  In reality, the fairy godmother is a sublime gaze reflected back in dreams and visions or purposefully.  I see it in words, dreams, visions, and imagination.  I would often say that a small creature would remain small until they transformed themselves through dreams and visions of their hidden sublime gaze reflected back to them.  

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Meditation for sublime gaze

Meditation stops thought which releases resistance and so sublime gaze can fully emerge, what I would call 'beautiful energies' but in actuality was sublime gaze in full.  You can then, from that stance, turn your gaze, on yourself and transform yourself, bringing yourself to Life through Love.  I would experience visions during Jhanic activation.  

Edited December 27, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I think it's particularly tricky when you are under some kind of guardianship or dependency on deeply unconscious people.  It can be truly debilitating and disabling.  I've tried every trick in the book.  Your body will still burn up with a fight or flight response in unsafe conditions even when you don't act on it.  It's easy to give solutions and ideas from afar but up front and personal it's a very difficult situation because your body is constantly betraying you and putting you in pain. I do face the pain, you can't not face the pain. Either you act out from the flight or fight (which is what most narcissists learn to do from their narcissistic parents) or you face it and let it burn through you.  Take the high road, as Matt Kahn would say.   Remain soft and open.  Not bitter. It's still highly debilitating and disabling.  To act out the fight or flight,  would be the easy way out. 

That said, venting and emotional breakdowns will occur inevitably as a result of the above.  Preferably not publicly but sometimes publicly.  You have to have the right attitude and gentleness to be able to deal with such a problem, that comes up over and over and over.  It's grating on the nerves.  How do you deal with such a problem?  I've found that if you can view it from the angle of it being contrast when leading with the general/meditation/joy then you are coming from the 5th step in Abraham Hick's paradigm which is enjoying the contrast.  And you can apply this to any contrast, as long as you are leading with the general.

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Quote

I turned back to look at him and he took my hands in his and placed a small windup monarch butterfly in the center of my palms and closed my fingers over it.  "I made this for you."  He explained.  "Sometimes the smallest things have the greatest influence, such as the movement of a butterfly's wings."...... I looked out at all the people, took the butterfly that I had in my hand and wound it up before throwing it out towards the crowd.  Its mechanical wings caught the air and it flew amongst them, just above everyone and remained mostly unnoticed. - Loba

 

[Proserpina]

When you have intellectual weaknesses and deficits and spiritual strengths the most important thing is to rely on your strengths and to drop your weaknesses mostly I've learned.  Although you can sure up your weaknesses in your spare time, it's best to rely most on and lead by your strengths.  My strength lies in spirituality and my weakness lies in intellectual prowess and understanding.  If I focus too much on my weaknesses I get burnt.  When I focus on my strengths I am successful.    

[Proserpina]

When sublime gaze is reflected back to you and you are brought to Life your intelligence raises.  Hence why it is best for a small being to focus on their strengths.  Seek ye first the kingdom of God and everything else will follow.  Sublime gaze or Love is often gifted to someone close to Death or Death Energy, I think (a small being can be a being close to Death).  Someone who knows Life and Death, who is well acquainted with Life energy and Death energy.  Death has a purifying effect.   

[Proserpina]

Speaking in tongues

Speaking in tongues is leading with your strengths (spirituality) while perhaps having an intelligence or understanding deficit fundamentally, even while Life runs through you.  I think an intelligence or understanding deficit is common for a small being or Death energy acquainted being.  You have two ways you can approach it, overcoming a deficit: leading with your strength and boosting your Life energy. 

[Proserpina]

Death energy

I've literally been acquainted with and shaped by Death energy over the last few years, in smells and visions.  You have to rely on sublime gaze to get through with streams of Life energy flowing to you.  Streams of Life energy in visions and in smells.  I thought something was wrong with me to be fronted with Death energy like that.  But I realize now the meek's path was familiar with Death energy from the start and he was made for spiritual purification and mastery over Life and Death. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Overcoming Death energy 

Death energy can be overcome by directing sublime gaze toward it.  Life or Love defeats Death.  I have overcome Death several times from Death energy (in the dream it would have looked like dehydration or starvation death) directed toward me, burning up and I overcame it by allowing the Death energy to purify me and directing sublime gaze toward it.  Something (perhaps the universe, perhaps God) was challenging me to overcome and master Death. 

Edited December 28, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Mum

You took the burden of Death energy from me when it was too great for me.  You absorbed it all.  All the Death energy that I would absorb into my body would transfer to you, for some inexplicable reason.  You took it all from me.  Because the greater part of you loved me.  I'm sorry for doubting your love. 

[Proserpina]

Where is this in the spiritual community?  It's sorely missing.  I only really see it in dreams and visions. I guess be the change you wish to see?:

"I am the way and the truth and the life."

"The thief cometh not but to steal and to kill and to destroy. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

"but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."

"So I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and spacious land, to a land flowing with milk and honey" 

Edited December 29, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

A voice was speaking to me in a dream last night.  The voice alleged to be me and alleged that I set up the whole encounter beforehand.  It answered all my questions (I don't remember a lot of the encounter).  It told me that I had some schizophrenia sometimes.  It told me that many of my experiences were real.  It told me to listen to ASMR, to loving entities.  I had an encounter with an 'entity' right after waking up in an ASMR video.  In the background was the word 'Bloom' (flowers are significant symbols for me). 

I had some 'delusional' thoughts after waking up and wrote them down.  After some time, grounding work, and meditation they passed.  I either grounded in actual reality or went back to 'sleep'.  One of my 'delusions' (?) is that God puts me to sleep.  

Edited December 31, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

My boyfriend, Joseph Maynor who I spend every waking moment with:

 

Edited December 31, 2022 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I'm starting to love the frustration and pain that comes with the spiritual path.  The constant frustration and pain makes you appreciate 'nothingness'.  I had this realization during the neti neti video by Leo:

maybe you have to realize that its nothing
maybe you have to appreciate that its nothing

(my partner said to me in response: Aha, I see a lightbulb just went off)

So much relief came over me along with profound waves of beauty as I pierced the fabric of reality. Just relief.  Just peace. Just nothing. Please God, let me have nothing. 

The spiritual Guru knows what he's doing.  Lighting a fire inside your heart for nothing. 
 

[Proserpina]

Insight

I had the insight that since I have a 'suggestible' or agreeable (I prefer that terminology) nature I can utilize that nature by steering what inclinations I might have at any given time through right action and more specifically my journal for audio productivity.  I can use my nature to my advantage as a strength, which would otherwise be a weakness.  Steering my strongly feminine nature with my masculine. 

[Proserpina]

Being perception

Being perception is Sublime gaze.  I'm excited to explore this side of "I Exist" or Being or Joy within myself for the fun of it, even though I'm pretty sure I'm already familiar with it but I'm being overly humble. Being perception turned toward others streams life energy.  Others are infused with Life (God from God and Love) as a result.  They glow with Life.  Life inspires Love.  

Edited January 2, 2023 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

I am the Jewel!  I will never let go of that realization ever again!

Do not turn to look at every beggar that beckons – you belong to me!

Do not sell yourself short, for you are priceless.

Part the waters with your staff – you are today’s Moses.

Tear through the cloak of fog! You are of the light, the same light as Mohammad.

Shatter the mirrors of the beautiful, you are the dazzling Joseph.

Blow the breath of life like Christ – you, too, are of that air.

Break away from the unscrupulous; do not fall for the deceit of ghouls.

You are of noble origin – you are from the highest high.

By spirit, you are deathless – imperishable; magnificent from within.

You belong to the glorious – you are of divine radiance.

What have you seen of your own beauty?

You are still veiled…

One dawn, like the sun, you will rise up from within yourself.

It is a shame to be shrouded this way like the moon under a cloud.

Tear through the cloud of body! You are the magnificent moon.

You are like a hawk whose feet are bound, tethered to the body –

It is with your own claws that you must untie the knots.

-rumi

Edited January 3, 2023 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Journalling

Public journalling and community is in service to right action.  Just talk, whatever (stupidity or wisdom) comes flowing out of your mouth it is in service to right action (in my case my audio productivity journal).  Whatever comes flowing out of your mouth is you!  Be yourself!  Infuse your work with yourself.  However silly you might think you are.  Even if you are ignored, or dismissed.  It's better than doing it alone in most cases (I've tried).  Journalling or being a part of a community infuses your soul into your work.  Public journalling is just a safer way to be a part of a community for some who feel overwhelmed by typical communities and enjoy introspection and writing. 

Edited January 4, 2023 by Proserpina

[Proserpina]

Quote

A pure heart could be another way of saying 'Love'. You can tell someone's truth perception by their heart or clean perception.  Using all this terminology extremely loosely and as a pointer of course.

A God-realized being with a pure heart is an Angel. 

You can become God realized through other means than a pure heart.

Quote

A being with a pure heart can trigger God realization in another being. If you have a pure heart you can visualize a being with a pure heart to trigger God realization.

'God realization' just means the realization of "I Exist" or Personal Presence or going from Personhood to Presencehood.  A pure heart means outer "Presence".  The realization that 'others' are made up of presence as well.  You will see that they have a pure heart and 'clean eyes'. 

An 'Angel' is someone who has realized both "I Exist" (Life) and "Presence" (Love).  They are the same, but yet there is a distinction.  You can tell the difference between someone who has had the proper realization of "I Exist" and not the realization of "Presence".  "I Exist" will give off an energy of 'Godhood', Greatness, Splendour, Beauty, and larger-than-life energy that demands respect and admiration.  They will inexplicably radiate warmth but will lack the warmth of "Presence". "Presence" is love, breath, and life-giving energy.  You need both realizations.  Masculine tends to have "I Exist", and Feminine tends to have "Presence".  Masculine tends to think he doesn't need "Presence", he only needs the realization of "I Exist".