What sort of a man can handle me?

[Preety_India]

I'm very difficult to handle I admit 

 

I can be very pleasant sometimes and then very difficult at times. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

The man who can handle me has to be extremely loving and affection. 

Because I thrive on raw affection from a man. 

If he can't show me affection, he can't win me. It's impossible. 

He has to be extremely gentle and patient with me. Because I'm the polar opposite of the word "patient." 

I have a short fuse and a volcanic temper. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I go into psychotic rage. 

But this is also years of abuse triggered PTSD that shows up in moments of rage. 

 

That's when I literally EXPLODE. 

 

Nothing funny about it. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I think I need a violent boyfriend. 

 

[Preety_India]

So the kind of man I need has to have some violent energy about him. 

I can imagine a Libra or a Scorpio. 

Even a Sagittarius. 

The bottom tier of the zodiac is good for me. 

So far the boyfriends I dated and the first crush I had were in this order - LIBRA =>> ARIES =>> TAURUS =>> PISCES =>>PISCES. 

 

No longer Pisces boyfriend for me. They are very exhausting to my energy. They brought me nothing but trouble. 

I am tired of dealing with the upper tier of the zodiac. 

Whenever I fall in love, it is usually Aries, Taurus, Pisces. 

I rarely fell for an Aquarius. 

And I almost never end up meeting a Libra or A Scorpio or Cancer. They are usually already taken. 

 

I'm a bit scared of Sagittarius 

They are too much for me. My mom is a Sagittarius. Just too much 

Their domination and cockiness puts me off. 

The other most annoying part of a Sagittarius is that they never keep their damn annoying mouth shut. 

 

I like Scorpios. They and Libra. 

Libra is generally very understanding of me. 

Libra does give me a weird look from time to time but then understands my crazy nature and makes peace with it eventually. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I can say with confidence that the upper rack of the zodiac (which also includes me btw) is kinda shitty. 

 

The lower rack is dark and mysterious and is good 

 

The middle rack with Cancer and Leo and Virgo are just too too calculated and clever. Not my cup of tea. They are too rational. 

 

The dark tier or lower rack of the zodiac begins with Libra and ends with Aquarius. 

 

The sunshine upper rack begins with Pisces or Aries and ends with Taurus. 

 

I can divide the zodiac into triads. Four triads. I created exciting titles to describe these triads. 

First triad. 

The warrior triad 

 Aries. Taurus. Gemini. 

 

Second triad 

The Orderly Triad

Cancer. Leo. Virgo. 

 

The third Triad. 

The Dark Mysterious Triad. 

Libra. Scorpio. Sagittarius. 

 

The last or fourth Triad 

The broody  Triad 

Capricorn. Aquarius. Pisces 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I end up getting confrontational with the first and the second triad. 

I get along smoothly with the third and the fourth triad. 

The zodiac that I find the most triggering. Is Taurus. 

I get very fighty with TAURUS. 

Even if the Taurus wins the argument with his rationality and pragmatism, I end up getting offended and mad. 

In fact I hate that he wins every time and my dreamy side loses.. 

 

With Scorpio, I tend to shut up. 

 

With a Libra, I get very animated but they quickly calm me down with their rationality, calmness and effective judgment.. 

With a Sagittarius, I generally do not get along and I end up finding them mean. 

With an Aquarius, I tend to get protective of their gloominess in the beginning and then I get bored seeing their level of self control and static behavior. They also upset me because they themselves are too Broody for me to handle. I can't see them as uplifting to my energy. 

With Pisces, I get a warm sisterly feeling, but I tend to get overwhelmed by their attention and drama (my drama and their drama together is double drama). So NOPE. they are a sibling i must avoid no matter how well I get along with them. 

 

Aries. My first real boyfriend was Aries. Very dominating. I instantly end up contradicted by their objectivity and brutal approach to life. Their hardness is a dent on my softness. They are too blunt and sharp. To the point that I get defensive and close up forever. 

 

Taurus makes me talk talk talk through arguments. 

Scorpio makes me go mute. Because their argument is far superior than mine. They also get freaky with me. I better obey them or they would go nuts on me. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

My most disappointments came from the upper stupid rack of the zodiac. And I'm counting myself into it as well. 

All these Aquarius, Pisces, Aries Taurus are good at melodrama. (myself included) 

They will cheat, lie, manipulate and find every trick in the book. 

Not saying that others can't be manipulative. 

I have myself been manipulative many times. 

 

[Preety_India]

The lower rack of the zodiac that is Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius are objective in a classic non annoying way. These are the classic people.. They cherish nostalgia and things of substance. 

Also they are unusually calm to hyper angsty person like me. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I have understood that the person who can handle me correctly has to be a strange mix Of Libra and Scorpio. 

The calm non chalant pacifying accommodating nature of Libra combined with the muted aggressive dominant nature of the Scorpio is a great companion to my character. 

I have never tried my luck with a Leo. 

 

Leo loves me with passion and adoration.. I usually find them waiting for my response and I tend to reject them because they are too mild for me. I won't have much to discuss with them. They are like guests 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Sometimes I get annoyed with the stupid sarcasm of Libra. The one that comes to mind is Eminem.. They end up triggering me massively because they say objective truth 

 

And the last thing a Pisces wants to hear is truth blown into their face at full speed. They would rather not. Their delusions are better than brutal truths. 

Although I secretly despise and envy  the graceful way in which Libra deals with the brutality of truth. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So I was busy imagining my ideal man. 

And I have realized that he got to have some violent vibe in him. 

This brings to mind images of an actor who resembles the role of my fantasy boyfriend very closely 

He is SKeet from the Scream series. 

He is the perfect imagine of my ideal violent vibe boyfriend. 

Some images to describe what I imagine my fantasy boyfriend to look like. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I have begun to find violence attractive. 

I don't mean actual physical violence. 

I mean something that generates extreme negative energy. That positive and negative energy are two sides of the same coin. 

Love and Violence are the same. 

Love is gentle. Violence is brutal. 

Love can uplift and violence can pull up. 

Both do the same job. 

One is to grow, the other is to protect 

Many years ago I had written in my journal, that there are only and only 2 forces in the universe - growth and protection. You see that in nature as well. 

My prime nature is love. My complementary nature would be violence. 

That is what will fulfill me is the magnetic opposite of what I possess. This is the law of the universe. Opposites attract.. 

I will be attracted to the diametrically opposite of me 

If I'm the Christ, I'll be attracted to the Anti-Christ. 

If I'm the Hero I'll be attracted to the Anti-hero. 

In this essence, I use the archetypes of the duck and the dragon. 

The dragon being a ferocious reptile or lizard, such as the komodo dragon. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

So this is the physical description of the guy. 

 

I'm thinking about his physical attributes. More like in the pictures above. Men don't realize this but looks can be a killer, like that curtain haircut on the guy. Johnny Depp always has that. Haha, guy knows girls still like him from Edward Scissorhands. He was my crush when I saw him in that movie for a few weeks. Dude can pull off the desperate Romeo look. 

So the other physical attributes are 

Skinny. Tall skinny. Not too tall. I'm 5, 6" so maybe a couple inches more like my ex was 5, 9"and he considered himself short. So maybe 5,11" or 6. 

Then hair color and eye color doesn't matter, whatever it may be. 

But needs to have a killer look in his eyes. Like staring straight into my face and eyes. He got that look. 

Skinny but athletic. I don't want a skinny feeble guy, nothing wrong with it, but I don't feel like he can sexually conquer me in bed if he is lanky slim and no muscle. Like what will I hold during sex? I don't want to see a plain boy chest with no manly muscles (thin arms like tentacles, oh no, that would be a pity) need natural grown man muscle on his arm, not too much muscle, not that gym muscles, no no, that's a no no, that's artificial and cringey, I don't want buff,... skinny, muscular athletic is just fine, I don't want any extra muscle, I want to be able to touch his arms and play with him. 

Nice lips. Because kissing is my main thing. 

Eyes are the most important because that makes all the difference. Piercing eyes that are fiery when he looks at me like he is going to kill me just with his stare alone. Intimidating. Serious look. Yea. 

Flat checks. His face has to be flat. Because any mass on his face will ruin the killer punk look. 

[Preety_India]

 

 

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

Romanticising images of a violent looking boyfriend. 

(Okay, I don't really want him to be violent, like who wants that, I just want the flavor and vibe of a guy who is super dominating and tyrannical in a violent way, kinda killer brutal look ) 

 

These images perfectly fit my imagination. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

So traits of this less than ideal but ideal boyfriend. 

• Dangerous 
• Cavalier 
• Possessive (psycho) 
• Violent (vibe) 
• Mean 
• Bully 
• Protective 
• Mentor 

 

 

I want my future boyfriend to have a sense of ownership, like he is owning me every time, both sexually, mentally and emotionally. Psychically. 

Someone who is supposed to drag me out of my darkness by being a Darth Vader of Darkness himself. 

 

The Violent Romeo. The Tyrannical Lover. The Mentor. The Disciplinarian. The Tamer. The Bitch. The Oppressor. The beast. The Punisher. The  brute. The bully. The creep. The Powerful. The Tyrant. 

 

 

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I want a boyfriend who knows how to put me in place when I'm going out of line or getting cocky or frivolous. 

 

 

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

OK. 

So this is the physical description of the guy. 

I'm thinking about his physical attributes. More like in the pictures above. Men don't realize this but looks can be a killer, like that curtain haircut on the guy. Johnny Depp always has that. Haha, guy knows girls still like him from Edward Scissorhands. He was my crush when I saw him in that movie for a few weeks. Dude can pull off the desperate Romeo look. 

So the other physical attributes are 

Skinny. Tall skinny. Not too tall. I'm 5, 6" so maybe a couple inches more like my ex was 5, 9"and he considered himself short. So maybe 5,11" or 6. 

Then hair color and eye color doesn't matter, whatever it may be. 

But needs to have a killer look in his eyes. Like staring straight into my face and eyes. He got that look. 

Skinny but athletic. I don't want a skinny feeble guy, nothing wrong with it, but I don't feel like he can sexually conquer me in bed if he is lanky slim and no muscle. Like what will I hold during sex? I don't want to see a plain boy chest with no manly muscles (thin arms like tentacles, oh no, that would be a pity) need natural grown man muscle on his arm, not too much muscle, not that gym muscles, no no, that's a no no, that's artificial and cringey, I don't want buff,... skinny, muscular athletic is just fine, I don't want any extra muscle, I want to be able to touch his arms and play with him. 

Nice lips. Because kissing is my main thing. 

Eyes are the most important because that makes all the difference. Piercing eyes that are fiery when he looks at me like he is going to kill me just with his stare alone. Intimidating. Serious look. Yea. 

Flat checks. His face has to be flat. Because any mass on his face will ruin the killer punk look. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

What should I call him? 

Wrett. That's what I can think of. Pronounced as Rett.