lmfao

On fasting, food insensitivities and exercise. Exercise doesn't make me feel better

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This is a random text dump of things I've been thinking of with my health.

In regards to potential food insensitivities. I'm learning recipes for things without diary and gluten. I've had meals where I feel incredibly stiff afterwards. That might happen if I eat pasta with tomato sauce + cheese. I then replaced the pasta with squash cut into spirals and put in the oven. The meal felt lighter, but I still had the same feeling afterwards. Too much cheese maybe.
Obviously I will consider the physical first, but I haven't let go of the possibility this is a mental or spiritual thing as well. In this sense https://learnlettinggo.com/2014/03/04/letting-go-of-allergies/ . "What if you're just allergic to life?". But I'm also open to it being wrong, and ofc its a nuanced topic where the material, psychological and spiritual intersect

I had a water distiller for free from someone who didn't want theirs, but after playing around with it for a week I decided its not for me. It was fun, but 1) distilled water doesn't suit me 2)It's too much faff and set up to be practical. 
I'll probably get a simple filter at some point, or one of those  jugs. Something simple and implementable

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They say exercise is supposed to make you feel better, but for me it doesn't do that really. I feel good immediately afterwards.  But after that, I'm tired and sleepy for the rest of the day. I'm not productive at all. And if I eat food after exercise, it's a done deal. I'm just food comatosed.  

I don't know what this means or what I should do. I think maybe just do low-mid intensity and stick with it. Yesterday I went for a nice long walk in the country side, today I might do something but idk. 

Intermittent fasting is an interesting thing. Food leaves me so comatosed that it might just be worth it. On the other hand, I don't want to feel forced into fast just because I feel tired and sick from eating. I don't know.

I used to do some Ramadan fasts when I was younger.

I forgot what exact year, it was 2015 or 2016 summertime, I would be fasting in Ramadan. I wouldn't drink any water during the day, but on top of that I would go to the local park and run very large laps. Running 9km (or more?) in a day in the sunshine and hot weather. Then I would drink water and eat at 21:00 for sunset . I used to run that distance back in 2015 for sure before ramadan.
Could it have been 14km on those days? I'll have to calculate it again. It was 9 laps around that very large perimeter I think. Maybe 9 miles roughly. 
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I can't imagine myself doing something like that anymore. What happened to my energy levels and fitness? My stamina and fitness endurance is half or third of what I was when I was 14-16, and now I'm 20 . Quite pitiful lol. 

Ever since then I became depressed and fatter ofc, late to hit proper puberty, with all sorts of brain, personality and interest changes. I have DPDR, and I feel very little connection to my past and my memories. But the fact that I used to have such stamina tells me how psychological/spiritual everything might be. 

Edit: Reflecting on it, I think I have a fracture in my personality, whether actual or imaginary/unreal. Correction, it's imaginary/unreal. I feel there is no such fracture, but that I've aged, things changed, and my mind gets lost in stories and explanations. 

Edited by lmfao

Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough.

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