soos_mite_ah

Nourishment

115 posts in this topic

1/13/2020 Food Diary 

I woke up with a headache and even though my stomach wasn't feeling hungry, I thought it would be a good idea to eat anyway. That was really the theme for today. Even if I didn't feel like I needed to eat from my stomach, I still made it a point to eat more than what I'm used to in order to ensure that my body gets what it needs. After all, I have goals pertaining to that. I made it my intention today that I'm going to eat more than what I'm used to in order to see what will happen and see if my headaches and nausea goes away. 

Breakfast: 

2 gluten free pieces of toast with an avocado and an egg: Originally I thought about eliminating bread entirely from my diet, even the gluten free kind. I thought that maybe that would help with the insulin resistance that is related to my PCOS. Yeah, that's not a good idea, for me anyway. I need to get some carbs and I think that is one of the reasons why I have been getting these headaches. I'm not eating a crazy amount of refined grains and I think I should be fine considering I have a lot of vegetables (and now incorporating more fruits) in my diet. It's not like my diet only consists of simple carbs. 

A handful of grapes and some pineapple: I feel like part of me didn't gravitate towards fruits because I thought that they are filled with sugar and that they would mess me up. I'm starting to question that and incorporate more fruits into my diet. I think an easy way to start is just having some fruit on the side with my regular breakfast or maybe as some type of snack. 

A glass of water with half of a lemon: I'm just getting back into lemon water. 

Lunch: 

Gluten free spaghetti with shrimp: I used some onion, tomatoes, garlic, bell peppers, shrimp, tomato sauce, parsley and a bunch of different spices to make this spaghetti. As usual, my spaghetti tends to be mainly vegetables and meat if I include some rather than noodles, but I don't mind that since that is usually how I like my spaghetti. I opted for spaghetti instead of a salad or zucchini noodles because I'm trying to get in more carbs and see if that helps anything. 

Snack: 

A handful of peanuts: This will help my iron deficiency. 

A green apple: again, trying to get in more fruits. I ate this apple when I caught myself feeling tired towards the evening and I found that it helped. Because I ate breakfast and ate a heavier lunch, I found myself feeling less tired around this time of day even though I still wanted to doze off. 

Dinner: 

Black eye pea salad with some spinach: I just had some of this salad remaining in the fridge and thought that I'd finish it up. 

2 pieces of salmon: Trying to make dinner a little heavier than what I'm used to. Normally I opt for only one piece of salmon. 

 

Overall, I felt more energetic today, my mood felt more stable, and my headaches, though they were there, only lasted for a brief amount of time (maybe 45 minutes total in the entire day). I mainly felt tired in the evening but after I ate dinner, I felt energized again. I'm really starting to think that my tendency to want to take a nap in the afternoon/ evening is related to how much food is in my system. I also had a doctor's appointment today, specifically for the PCOS. I told him what I was doing with my diet and how I was feeling both in terms of the PCOS symptoms but also the headaches and the nausea that I was experiencing. He told me that it is likely that this is due to me restricting my calories too much and restricting too many carbs. And if I restrict more carbs, the headaches are going to get much worse and so will the PCOS symptoms. So, taking this into consideration, the gluten free toast, the gluten free spaghetti, and the gluten free tortillas are here to stay. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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I ate some white bread to deal with the headaches I was experiencing yesterday because of a lack of calories and carbs and how does my body repay me? By giving me a nice juicy pimple on my face that's how. 

God.... I hate this condition. 

I just want clear skin :| 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Looking through old posts

On 12/26/2020 at 6:55 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

Cravings 

I have been craving pizza for the last week or so. I haven't gotten it because my digestion has been a little off and I really want to fully clear up my skin but the craving hasn't been overwhelming

I just realized that I haven't thought of pizza since the time I had a flatbread about 2 weeks ago. I guess in some cases, just letting yourself eat the food you're craving and moving on is the best way to deal with the situation. I remember while I was writing this post, I was thinking about pizza almost everyday until I finally let myself have some. 

On 12/25/2020 at 4:44 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

Future Goals

So in short my future goals going forward include: 

  • Reducing the amount of meat I eat outside the house (I haven't done much to address this but I could keep it in the back of my mind since it isn't much of priority right now and since I don't really eat out) 
  • Reducing sugar by doing the following: (I realized that I don't have much of sugar problem as I have a chocolate problem.)
    • avoiding ice cream (Had no problems with this.)
    • switching gluten free tortilla chips with celery (I actually like eating celery but I think the gluten free tortillas are here to say so I can still get in my carbs.)
    • focus on portion control when it comes to desserts in social situations  (I think that when I was writing this I was definitely in the nit picking/ perfectionistic mindset. I do pretty well with portion control tbh in general even in social situations)
  • ****Getting rid of my chocolate cravings  (working on it)
  • Introducing soy in the form of tofu and miso (I want to do this just to expand on what I eat on a regular basis but my mom is currently freaked out by soy in the moment and is under the impression that soy will make PCOS worse so I'm holding off on that for now)

I responded to my future goals from a few weeks ago in the bolded words within parenthesis. 

 

I also have a couple posts where I talk about cutting down on wheat and soy based on what I saw on Leo's video. I knew that I wasn't going to follow that video exactly since a person's diet is a very individualized matter and isn't one of those things that can be fixed for many people with a one size fits all solution. I used it as a starting point since I didn't know what I was doing. Wheat isn't necessarily bad for me personally because I have issues with getting my carbs in as I have described numerous times with the headaches and the nausea I have been experiencing for the last few days. I believe that I still need it in my diet but I do have to be mindful of what kind of wheat I'm choosing, specifically whether or not it is gluten free. As for soy, I think things like tofu and tempeh can help my condition specifically even though this might be something that really messes with some people.  Now unless any of that changes or I get any other type of new information, wheat and soy are here to stay in moderation. 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Food and Mental Health 

This is a subject that is interesting me more and more since I am seeing differences with how I feel emotionally after I eat. Hangry is a very real phenomenon lmao

 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/14/2021 Food Diary 

I woke up feeling exhausted for some reason today. I rolled around in bed for an hour and a half and I couldn't get myself up even though I had a proper amount of sleep last night. Then again, since I'm on break from school, my sleep schedule is likely off because of that. 

Brunch: 

A sandwich: I made a sandwich using two small slices of gluten free bread, an avocado, some balsamic vinegar, a couple slices of tomato, a couple slices of cucumber, and some pesto.  I got up too late for breakfast so instead of my usual bread with avocado and an egg, I opted for a sandwich. 

1 hard boiled egg: Thought I needed some protein in my breakfast. 

A handful of berries: I took some blueberries, black berries, and raspberries into a small bowl so that I can get a serving of fruit. 

A tomato: Even though I only used a couple slices for my sandwich, since the tomato was small, I thought, eh might as well eat the whole thing. I'm one of those people who sometimes eat as they make food. 

Lunch/ snack: 

Spinach and banana smoothie: This has spinach, one banana, some peanut butter, a little bit of vanilla, and unsweetened almond milk. Since I didn't eat breakfast, I thought I would make myself a snack/meal of sorts that is rather light but will ensure that I'm not fatigued later on in the day. 

A handful of nuts: for the iron. 

Dinner: 

2 pieces of salmon: I marinated them with parsley, chives, basil, pesto, olive oil, lemon, Mediterranean dressing, onion powder, and a little bit of red chili powder, cooked them, and then served them with some bell peppers and onions. I normally would have only one piece but I'm trying to get my calories in. 

Sweet potato fries: I took one small sweet potato and then tossed it in some olive oil, red chili powder, lemon pepper, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning. Then I put them in the oven and cooked them til they were like fries. 

Cauliflower rice: the usual recipe. Had some in the fridge thought I use it up.  

 

I had a little bit of a head ache today. The headache I had yesterday was very mild and the headache I had today was about half as intense as the one yesterday. It lasted about 20 minutes. My energy was up today, I would say more so than yesterday. But around 3:30 pm or so I caught myself feeling tired. This was also around the time when my headache kicked in. I let myself close my eyes for about 30-40 minutes so I can get in some rest but I won't fall asleep and ruin my sleep schedule (I had an alarm on my phone). I felt better afterwards. No headache. No fatigue for the rest of the day. I think my body is taking a couple days to adjust back to me eating in a larger amount. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Manifestations 

Some things I want to manifest through improving my diet and my relationship with food. 

  • I am nutritionally complete
  • Everything is covered by my diet. 
  • I have enough calories in my diet. 
  • I can eat whatever I want and be comfortable in my weight and health. 
  • I feel free around food. 
  • I am confident in the way I look. 
  • I am free from cravings.
  • My healthy eating habits are so normalized to me to where I can implement them effortlessly.  
  • I have a good sleep schedule. 
  • I have really strong hair and nails. 
  • I have a fast metabolism.
  • I have clear skin.
  • I am managing PCOS symptoms really well.
  • I am free from my family health history. 
  • I have a really stable mood. 
  • My head and heart are more in tuned with each other since biologically I'm getting the proper nutrition to regulate my emotions. 
  • I am calm. 
  • I am happy.
  • I am energetic. 
  • I can concentrate better than ever. 
  • I feel efficient in my life. 
  • I am healthy, mentally and physically. 
  • I have a good relationship with food.
  • I enjoy food and occasions regarding food. 
  • My diet is sustainable and nutritious.  
  • I have a healthy relationship with food. 
  • I am an amazing and efficient cook. 
  • I am well hydrated. 
Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Food and Mental Health: My Experiences 

I have noticed that on the days I don't eat enough I am more prone to depression spirals as well as more easily annoyed. I've been looking more into it and I have also posted videos about the link between mental health and diet in an earlier post. So apparently, in a nut shell, this can happen when you don't get enough nutrients which then effects the functioning of the brain, since your brain uses a large chunk of whatever you eat as fuel. 

The first time I believe I heard about this was when I was about 13 years old. I remember in school, there was this one girl who had a lot of issues with her body and she would "diet" a lot (I'm putting diet in quotes because she would literally starve herself). She would also mention, either in a neutral tone or in a bragging kind of way, on how she didn't eat for a couple days, or how she skipped breakfast and dinner. I remember someone pointed out to her that she is much more upbeat, bubbly, and just generally emotionally alive on the days she does have something for breakfast, even if it's something small like a yogurt or some coffee.  I wonder how she is doing with her life and if she got proper help. I hope she is ok now. 

The other times when I was exposed to how diet influences your mood was when my mom would try to dismiss my emotions. I remember all throughout my teen years, when I would try to vent about something that was making me sad or annoying me, instead of hearing me out and empathizing, my mom would just say "oh you're only feeling this way because of your diet. You eat too much junk and too much in general that's why you are reacting like this." While diet might be a factor in the intensity of my emotions, it's also important to acknowledge the context in which my mom is saying what she is saying. Emotional repression is a very common thing in my family. No one is allowed to actually express how they feel and if they do it is seen as a sign of weakness so if there is something wrong, lets just say you're more likely to get yelled at instead of given compassion. And to me, knowing this context, bringing up my diet after I talked about something that had nothing to do with it, felt like scapegoating my problems and taking an irrelevant turn. I think a small part of me gets on the defensive when people are like 'oh just exercise and eat well and your depression will go away" when in reality moods are much more complicated than that and trauma along with stress are huge factors that need to be considered. And because I focused so much on the trauma and stress to solve an issue so that I'm not upset, I didn't pay enough attention to the biological components that could be contributing to a problem even if it is a smaller way. 

I have seen a lot of people have a similar attitude. Saying a single food will cure your depression is a very broad stroke that doesn't do the food and mood connection any justice. That type of thinking is often what causes people with depression and anxiety feel like they aren't being heard because a lot of times people know vaguely what is causing them distress. Like for example, if someone lost a family member and is now depressed and grieving, it isn't the right time to go up to that person and say, "oh this is because you aren't eating right." While eating right can help that situation, you still need to address the grief first or else the whole thing will look very tone deaf. 

Finally, I was exposed to this connection between mental health and nutrition before me choosing to clean up my diet. I noticed that almost every time I had a panic attack, it was followed by barely sleeping, barely eating, and feeling pressurized at school. While I do feel pressure from school, I sure that not sleeping and not eating exacerbates the stress and puts me in a position where I'm biologically more likely to have a panic attack. I remember once I had a panic attack and I went to my therapist about it, she and I came up with a way to cope with these panic attacks and one of those ways was to eat something that has a lot of protein and fats after a panic attack so that  my body can calm down and so I can think straight. I feel like that resonated with me more than what my mom used to tell me because in those sessions, she was still being empathetic to my situation and she treated diet as one piece of the larger puzzle rather than the end all be all. 

Now I'm starting to consider diet as a component to my mood because I have direct experience in that regard and because I have new, more in depth information on it. Also, I think that where I'm at my journey now with self actualization, I can receive this information about how diet effects mood in a more constructive way because I'm not getting defensive about the claim and I'm also not going over board to where I am using diet and exercise as a way to avoid my problems. I have been meaning to clean up my diet and eat right for years now. It's like the stereotypical new years resolution. But I think I failed before because it was coming from a place of self hatred, usually on the basis of not liking the way I looked. In those cases, I wasn't looking at a long term sustainable solution, I wanted a quick fix. A lot of fad diets really mess with your body and isn't loving towards it at all. Also it came from a place of self hatred in the sense of me seeing eating healthy as a chore that I need to exercise discipline to do rather than something I enjoy doing and something that makes me feel physically and mentally good.

I think the reason why in these last couple months I have been able to go into really looking into my diet is not only because of the PCOS, but because I cleaned up the other areas in my life to the point where I have minimized any amount of resistance I had to this process. None of this, whether it is the food diaries, any of the entries I post on this journal, what I'm cooking and eating, none of it is forced. It feels like I'm in a state of flow because I'm learning a lot and I feel like I'm making a lot of progress but I'm not pushing myself to do any of it. It's coming naturally from a genuine place. Looking into my health and learning more about what I'm putting into my body feels like a natural step in my self actualization journey at the moment. Because I am tackling a lot of my limiting and beliefs and emotions towards dieting and body image, I feel like I cleared up a lot of resistance surrounding the subject. At this point I genuinely enjoying this whole process and this whole subject is really interesting to me. I don't have to push myself or discipline myself through resistance that isn't even there anymore. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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I remember having this show be in my YouTube recommended a few years back. I remember binging a few episodes of the show, getting tired of it, and then a few months later binging a few more episodes. I haven't thought of Supersize v Superskinny in a long time. In my mind, it's always been one of those trash overexaggerated reality TV shows you watch to feel better about your life and decisions. I  clicked this video as soon as it came out because I wanted to see someone break down the premise of the show in a more critical lens. Actually, now that I think of it, between 2008-2014, there were a lot of weight loss related reality TV shows. Supersize v Superskinny was pretty bizarre and overall pretty problematic. I didn't watch the particular episode that she was reviewing but yeah, it's not the best media you should be consuming. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/15/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast:

2 slices of gluten free toast along with an avocado and 2 eggs: I normally have 1 egg but I'm trying to up the calories and the amount of nutrients I get. More on that in the next post. 

A handful of berries: Same as yesterday, consists of blueberries, raspberries, and black berries

A glass of water with some cucumber and mint: thought that would be a good mix

Lunch: 

Kale salad: Had kale, romaine lettuce, and a little bit of left over spinach. I also added in half of a red bell pepper, carrots, olives, red onions, and cherry tomatoes. Topped all of this off with tahini, flaxseeds, basil, and balsamic vinegar. I had lunch a little later than usual. I normally have lunch at around 12:30 to 1pm and today I had lunch at 2:00pm. I wanted to see if this would prevent me from feeling sleepy between 2-7 pm because I notice that tends to happen, usually because I didn't eat enough. And it worked!!! I didn't feel tired at all. Also my headaches are finally gone. I'm super happy about that. 

Banana and peanut butter: I would save this for a snack but I didn't feel like it so I had this immediately after my salad. 

Dinner: 

Chicken stir fry: Has chicken, red bell pepper, broccoli, kale, bok choy, garlic, and green onions all cooked with olive oil. I marinated the chicken with red chili powder, balsamic vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, basil, and this Mediterranean dressing that I had. I also added in some pineapple because I remember the last time I made this, I thought *hey this would go great with a little bit of pineapple for an extra bit of sweetness.* I think pineapple goes well with savory dishes (I'm also one of those people who like pineapple on pizza don't come for me) because it balances a dish out with it's sweetness. I also think pineapple goes really well with spicier foods. This stir fry is both savory and spicy since I add in quite a bit of red chili powder but as a bonus, the balsamic vinegar adds a little bit of sweetness and sourness to the dish and the pineapple really brings that out. Overall adding pineapple was a really good decision. 

White Rice: My family always has rice laying around the house as it is one of our staple foods. Normally I opt for cauliflower rice because I like the taste of that, but I was like, I haven't had rice in a while and I'm trying to up my carbs so why not. I feel like this was more filling than the cauliflower rice. 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Tracking Macronutrients and Micronutrients

I'm not a person who really likes tracking. It's honestly a lot and super inconvenient. I try to eat healthy to where I wouldn't have to be concerned with tracking. But this time, I decided to track my macros and micros because of the headaches, nausea, and fatigue I was getting. I had this strong suspicion that I wasn't getting enough carbs or calories in general. I used an online tracker which is linked below. It reminded me of this assignment I had to do twice while I was in high school where we were required to track our food for an entire week and then evaluate the nutritional quality of our meals. The first time was for health class while the second was for gym. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm no stranger to this. The only difference I would say between when I had to track my meals back then and now was that back then, the website I used, I don't think they tracked macronutrients (or maybe this is just my memory leaving me since this was 7 years ago back when I was 14). 

https://cronometer.com/

I entered in a couple days before I did my regular tracking. I took sample days from my food diary on this journal. It was relatively easy since I do note down all of the ingredients in my meals. I took one day that I considered me eating normally and one day that I considered me eating light. On a normal day I was getting in about 1000 calories and getting about 80 grams of carbs. On a light day, I was getting in about 600 calories and 30 grams of carbs. I didn't realize I was eating this little because I felt as if I was eating a large volume of food, but since it's mostly vegetables, that large volume of food doesn't have that many calories. No wonder I had a headache. Upon figuring this out, I made it a point to eat what I considered more than my usual for the next couple days and track that so I have a better idea on what I need to do going forward. I took screenshots from my results from the tracking website. So here it is: 

1/13/2021 Nutrient Tracker 

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1/14/2021 Nutrient Tracker

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1/15/2021 Nutrient Tracker 

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Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Tracking Macronutrients and Micronutrients: General Trends and My Reaction 

So here is the general trend in my diet when I go out of my way to eat a lot based on the last 3 days:

  • I'm almost always high on fat 
  • I'm low on carbs and protein 
  • I'm low on calcium and iron 
  • I meet or at least come very close to meeting every other micronutrient. 
  • I'm quite frequently under my caloric needs

I found out that I'm almost always high on fat because I eat an avocado almost everyday. But I also noticed that the avocado is really important component to ensure that I hit all of the micronutrients. Same with eggs. 

The carbs is what I'm a little concerned about. I know that the lack of carbs is likely the reason why I was getting headaches. I found it difficult to get in all of the carbs I need even when I felt like I was eating a lot. I know that on 1/13 I came close to meeting my carb needs and that's because I made myself spaghetti that day. The gluten free bread and the noodles are here to stay. I'm also thinking of having cauliflower rice on occasion because I like the way it tastes and switch over to regular rice so that I can get my carbs in. 

I'm surprised that I came up this short on protein. I know that I build muscle really REALLY easily so I always assumed it's because of the protein in my diet combined with genetics. Now I'm starting to think it's mainly the genetics lol. But I'm also surprised by this because I always try to make sure that I have some type of protein in all of my foods so that I feel full and satiated whether that means having eggs for breakfast, chicken or seafood for lunch and dinner, or peanut butter as a part of my snack. 

I don't think I need to be too concerned about nutritional deficiencies when it comes to my micronutrients (basically everything else except the fat, protein, carbs, and calories). I think it's really easy for me to meet these since I have a lot of whole foods in my diet as opposed to processed foods that may be high in calories but not very nutritionally packed. The only thing I might want to have my eye out for is the calcium and the iron. I know I'm also low on vitamin D but I do feel like I get a lot of sun and I never had any symptoms of a vitamin D deficiency nor have I ever had a blood test result telling me that I have a problem. So, I'm not too concerned about that. 

I'm surprised but I'm also not surprised that for these three days I didn't meet my caloric needs. I'm surprised because I felt as if I was eating a lot of food. I felt pretty stuffed for the entire day to where I had to force myself to keep eating so I can get all three meals in. But at the same time I'm not surprised since I eat a lot of vegetables and those tend to not have a lot of calories. I'm also not surprised because I remember on 1/3/2021, the day where I went on a road trip and mainly had fast food meals, I had a whole day of eating and I remember I totaled up the calories because I was curious and I remember that it came up to roughly 1500 calories for the entire day and I remember feeling stuffed. So I guess part of my mind at the end of that day was like *I get stuffed from roughly 1500 calories even if I had a full day of eating.* 

I noticed that I frequently get in all of my micronutrients but not all my macronutrients. I also noticed before back when I first tracked my food in school for an assignment that I tend to get all of my micronutrients while still remaining well under my 2000 calorie a day requirement. That tells me that my tendency to meet all my micronutrients but not my macros is a consistent theme in my diet for a number of years now. I think this might be one of the contributing factors to both my slowed metabolism and my PCOS symptoms. Underfeeding can cause your body to think it's in starvation mode and make it want to release stress hormones. Both the starvation mode and the stress hormones can cause a slowing of the metabolism, called metabolic adaptation, and cause a worsening of PCOS symptoms since PCOS can get triggered by extra stress and hormonal imbalances.

Making sure I get enough calories, protein, and carbs is going to be very important for me. I have to admit, saying that feels very weird to me because I was always under the impression (that is when I wasn't tracking food) that I'm eating too much junk and that I need to cut back on what I'm eating because of my size. I'm not super big, but I always in the back of my mind had a voice telling me that I need to lose weight. Because of that, I fell for a lot of restrictive diets growing up. It's to the point where whenever I think about changing my diet, my thoughts are always what foods do I need to get rid of or eat less of, not what foods does my body need. Hell, the second post in this journal is a list of foods that I need to avoid and cut out from my diet. Even though I think I greatly benefited from going gluten and dairy free along with decreasing my sugar intake, I think my big thing that will really give me results is making sure I add more calories, add more protein, and add more carbs into my diet. 

Which brings me to my next issue. I'm not sure how much I need to add into my diet. This website told me that I need 1675 calories a day. I had other sources tell me that I need about 1800-2000. When it comes to carbs and protein, I'm getting different results from different websites. 

For protein these were my recommendations: 

For carbs these were my recommendations

After seeing all this, I'm super confused about macronutrients and I don't know how much more I need other than the fact that I need more. That interferes with my ability to think up how to go about achieving my goals. 

The only idea I got was to introduce a daily protein bar. I remember eating a couple of these protein bars that my roommate gave me in college. They were called Pure Protein Bars and they tasted pretty good. They were also chocolately so it scratched a craving which is a plus lmao. I'm a little hesitant to add a protein bar to my diet since they are literally like candy and because they have a lot of processed ingredients in them. But if one a day is going to help me reach my goals, I'm open to considering it. It is gluten free (though not dairy free however I don't remember it making me break out or cause any discomfort) and it is also low in sugar. It also has a good amount of calcium along with carbs and can add calories into my diet. That hits a lot of things that I'm low in.  

Here are the nutritional facts of the the protein bar that I am talking about:  

81lAXQwnpJL._AC_SL1500_.jpg

But yeah other than that I have no idea what else I need to be doing. I think it's best that I don't get too ahead of myself. For now I feel like I should just focus on eating breakfast regularly, eating more fruit, and increasing my appetite to where I'm comfortable with eating what I think is a lot on a regular basis. After I implement those things, I think that's when I can fine tune my macros :).  

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/16/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

2 slices of gluten free bread with some peanut butter topped with a sliced banana: I used to love making this breakfast as a kid. It was quick enough to make before school and I didn't have to use the stove or anything (plus as a child my mom wouldn't let me near it anyway, rightfully so, so I had to find other ways to make myself breakfast) 

An egg: Thought I needed a little bit of protein in this meal. 

A handful of raspberries: For the last couple days I did these little berry mixes but today I was only into having raspberries. 

Lunch: 

A bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds in some unsweetened almond milk: I was lazy with making lunch but I didn't want to have a salad like yesterday because that was too filling. I still feel full and stuffed from the last few days tbh. Plus I needed some more carbs. I know this isn't gluten free but I looked up the cereal brand online and I found that they have gluten free options as well. I could probably have some around the house to eat on occasion. I don't eat cereal that often. I think it's been a couple months since I reached for it. But I remember that as I child I would have some type of cereal for breakfast quite frequently. I opted for the more sugary kind when I was a little kid but as I grew up I grew out of it and opted for cereal with less sugar. My favorites were lucky charms, frosted flakes, and coco puffs as a little kid. Then once I hit middle school I switched over to cheerios and honey bunches of oats. Once I got to high school and college, cereal became a more and more occasional thing.  Brought back memories. 

A handful of blueberries: I put a handful of blueberries in there because I felt like it and I wanted to see what that was going to be like. I can see myself having cereal like this more often when I do get around to having cereal. 

A spoonful of peanut butter: I felt like it since sometimes I like having a spoonful of peanut butter but I also I thought I would need some fat and protein to go with my lunch. 

Dinner: 

Chicken stir fry: I had a small amount left over from the night before. 

Salmon: Had some marinated and just had to cook it and it was ready. 

Rice: Had it with my chicken and my salmon. Again trying to ensure I get in my carbs. 

Salad: This salad was smaller than what I normally make but I felt as if I wasn't eating as many vegetables as I normally do. That felt weird so I made myself a salad since I love getting in my vegetables. This salad had kale, romaine lettuce, bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, tahini, a few olives and balsamic vinegar. It doesn't have as many ingredients as my normal salads but it felt nice to get some more nutrients in. 

Additional Notes: I caught myself feeling tired around 3 today. That felt weird since I had around the same amount of food this time yesterday and I didn't feel tired then. I suspect that it might have to do with fast carbs like breads and cereals vs. slow carbs like vegetables. I believe that there is a difference with the way they release energy because of how quickly they absorb into the bloodstream. Idk, it's just a speculation. I ended up dozing off and taking a nap and that wasn't fun because I'm pretty sure that my sleep schedule is going to be soooo OFF tonight. I'm going to take a melatonin pill for that just to help with things. Not my usual go to solution but sometimes it really helps. I think it might be a matter of difference between fast and slow carbs. At least I don't have to deal with those headaches anymore and I have regular bowel movements again. I'm so grateful for that. I accept that the sleep and energy thing as well as the rest of my health issues will take some time to fix. 

 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/17/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

1 apple with some peanut butter: I REAALLY didn't want to have breakfast today. I was so tempted to skip. In these last few days I have been eating what I personally consider a lot of food so I felt stuffed from the moment I woke up. I have been having heavier breakfasts lately but I thought that maybe I need to have something light just to ease into everything. I was going to just have an apple but I went ahead and added the peanut butter just to get some fats and proteins in. 

Half a lemon and some water: Was in the mood for refreshing cold lemon water. 

Lunch: 

Homemade spaghetti with mushrooms: Since I'm still trying to get in my carbs, I opted for some spaghetti. I used these green spaghetti noodles that are made of green lentils, spinach flour, kale flour, and cauliflower flour. When I was grocery shopping these seemed interesting and I thought I give it a shot. They are pretty good, taste just like regular noodles really. They also have more protein compared to the regular gluten free noodles. I also added in some onion, baked tomatoes, garlic, parsley, bell peppers, and mushrooms along with some tomato sauce. I made my meal more vegetable heavy so I wouldn't have to deal with the tiredness I had to deal with yesterday when I ate the cereal.

Dairy free mint ice cream: Saw some at the store and thought I could try some. It was pretty satisfying. First time I had ice cream in a while. I don't really get ice cream cravings anymore but I can still enjoy it.

Snack: 

A handful of cashews: I wanted to eat some peanuts but I saw that my mom bought some cashews so I had some of that instead because why not. 

Dinner: 

Zucchini noodles: Just my regular zucchini noodles. I feel like I have been trying to get in more carbs and as a result I haven't been eating as many zucchini noodles. I actually enjoy eating zucchini noodles. It isn't just something I made myself eat because I thought I had to really cut down on carbs. Sure that was the reason why I discovered the zucchini noodles  but I also grew to love them. They will still be a part of my diet. 

hard boiled egg: wanted to make sure I get in a little bit of protein for my dinner to ensure that I stay full. 

 

Additional note: I didn't feel tired today and I didn't have an urge to doze off. I think it does have to do with simple and complex carbs (simple carbs being breads, noodles and cereals and complex carbs being fruits and vegetables). I don't think I work well with simple carbs alone as a meal because then I get energy in the moment since the body doesn't have to process it much to get the glucose into the blood stream, but then the energy quickly wears off. With complex carbs, the energy release is slower meaning you won't have a blood sugar spike and the energy will be released slowly but surely in a certain duration of time. Or at least that's what I understood. I think I can have simple carbs but I need it to accompany a good amount of complex carbs such as vegetables to balance things out. Either that or mainly vegetables will do.

Also I was expecting to break out from yesterday's cereal since it wasn't gluten free. That didn't happen! In fact, my skin has been clearer in the last few days. I think my lack of calories and my restriction was making my PCOS symptoms worse and was making me more sensitive to gluten and dairy in regards to the reactions in my body. I'm still going to avoid gluten and dairy when I can but I am going to be sure that I eat enough since that seems to be a huge factor in dealing with my condition. 

Speaking of eating enough, I know the amount of food I have been eating has been heavier than what I'm used to but I still struggle to get in a full 1800-2000 calories each day. I'm going to try to work up to that. Because the amount of food I have been eating has been feeling more than what I'm used to, I think it will take me a while to get used to that amount before moving on to increasing food intake in even more. That means I'm not going to be eating 1500-1700 calories every single day (that's usually how many calories my heavier days of eating consist of). Instead I'm going to have that amount for a few days, take a break where I eat what I consider a regular amount of food (usually totaling up to1000-1200 calories), and then get back to eating about 1500-1700 calories again. I'm going to be taking this slow enough to let myself adjust. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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14 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

With complex carbs, the energy release is slower meaning you won't have a blood sugar spike and the energy will be released slowly but surely in a certain duration of time. Or at least that's what I understood.

That's about right :) Try something like whole grains (buckwheat, oat, millet, or some of the other gluten-free ones) in a form of porridge. Very slowly absorbable, high fibre and lot of slowly releasing energy. These are also quite cheap so you can purchase them in bulk


“If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.” ― Epictetus

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Forgot about writing food journal entries in the last couple days. 

1/18/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

Gluten free bread, avocado, an egg, along with a handful of blueberries

Lunch: 

Starbucks Chicken Caprese sandwich: I felt myself craving this the night before so I went and got it. It has two slices of ciabatta bread, chicken, roasted tomatoes, mozzerella, and pesto. 

Dinner: I honestly don't remember what I had for dinner but I know it was a good amount to where I can get all my calories in. 

1/19/2021 Food Diary 

Lunch: 

3 pieces of Raising Canes Chicken strips and half of the fries it came with it: I skipped breakfast and I felt myself getting really hungry to where I was getting a headache. I was out of the house at the time and it was 2pm so I went to the nearest thing to me. Plus I remember I was craving something fried.  The order I got comes with 3 chicken strips, fries, toast, and a drink. I just got water and I couldn't finish the fries so I gave those to my dad. I didn't really eat the bread because of the whole gluten thing. The thing with this place is that most of their food is ok and nothing too exciting but I just really like their chicken and only their chicken. Compared to other places, they don't add that much oil so it isn't a greasy mess that makes you feel done with life later on and the breading isn't too thick (I personally like thinner breading because I think it make s chicken crunchier and less weighed down). Plus there is the sauce. I have no idea what it's made with but it tastes amazing to me. 

Snack: 

Banana and some peanut butter: felt hungry but dinner felt too far away so I opted for this instead. 

Dinner: 

Rui maach cooked with bell peppers, onions, and garlic and rice: Rui maach is this Bengali fish (maach= fish) that is really special to that area. Like you are not Bengali if you don't eat rui maach lol. I have no idea what the English translation for this specific type of fish is tbh. My mom made it and she makes fish in general really well.

Additional Notes: I woke up this morning feeling really self conscious in my body. I found out that I gained 2 in on my waist. I'm pretty confident about my body but I have one exception which is my stomach. I always had a little bit of fat there and even what I do work out, cut calories, etc. it's always there. This might sound a little narcissistic but  I feel that the rest of me looks amazing and then there is my stomach that throws everything off. In terms of the way I'm built, I feel like I would be a 10 if I had a flat stomach. And even though it is one main insecurity, it's so deep for me to where it can impact my eating habits. I hate to admit it but, I didn't want to eat today because I was disgusted by how I looked. Then I made a less than healthy decision to get chicken and that made me feel worse emotionally because it's like I'm making my situation worse. I forgot to make a food diary entry for 1/18 but for 1/19, I didn't do it because I felt ashamed of my decisions and not being on point with what I set out to do. It's great that I have this journal to make myself held to more accountability and so that I can check up on patterns based on what I recorded, but when I do have a less than perfect day, I do get self conscious of sharing that on here.   

While this whole thing made me want to restrict, I also have something that made me want to restrict less. I had a sandwich with cheese on 1/18 which goes against my whole gluten and dairy free restriction I have for my PCOS. But on the following day, I didn't break out. Normally I use breaking out as a measure of what foods I feel that I'm sensitive to because of the PCOS since if my PCOS is triggered more, it usually reflects on my skin. Gluten and dairy aren't the best foods because they can mess with insulin levels which are important to control if a person has PCOS. But I notice that on days that I do eat enough calories, I'm less sensitive to the gluten and dairy. I guess that means that I can have gluten and dairy in small amounts provided that I maintain other healthy habits including most importantly (for me and my condition) which is eating enough calories and carbs regularly 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/20/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

2 slices of gluten free toast with peanut butter along with a hand full of black berries: I wasn't hungry but I forced myself to eat something anyway because I felt myself feeling emotionally down. I felt better after eating

Lunch: 

Sauteed vegetables and grilled shrimp along with a gluten free tortilla: Had brussell sprouts, carrots, onions, shrimp, broccoli, red bell peppers, and ginger all cooked with olive oil 

Snack: 

1 Banana

Dinner: 

Vegetable soup: Made with vegetable broth, olive oil, a variety of spices, bok choy, broccoli, green onions, red bell peppers, celery, and carrots. 

Snack: 

1 bowl of cereal (Cheerios) with unsweetened vanilla almond milk and a handful of blueberries: I felt a little hungry but my main reason for eating this was my feet were cold. I know that sounds really weird but let me explain. I googled why the rest of my body felt warm and comfortable yet my feet were super cold and thankfully google didn't tell me that I was dying or have cancer as it normally does whenever you type in a symptom of something probably harmless into it's search engine:D. Apparently, when the rest of your body feels warm but your feet feel cold, it can be a symptom of low iron. So I decided to try something out. I once read the label of the cereal lying around my house and it said that it has 70% of a person's recommended amount of iron plus a variety of other nutrients. And it worked. I was surprised but also not surprised. Not surprised because that meant that google was right, but surprised because I didn't think cereal could fix my cold feet. That's just a weird remedy in my mind I guess. 

Additional notes: 

Before breakfast, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist in regards to some medication I am on and I left that appointment really disappointed. I didn't have this medicine for about a month because I had issues with getting an appointment in order to renew my prescription but I felt fine. As a result, I was hoping to get a lower dose and I was told that I have to take this amount for a year and it's going to take time to wean off of it. It hurt because I have been putting in so much effort with getting better emotionally so I won't have to need this medication. I am someone who places her self esteem on her ability to function and her ability to be mentally stable. I know that isn't the healthiest thing, but considering this, it makes sense why that would hurt. I have nothing against medication for mental health but in a way I feel ashamed for taking them. I came back and I just didn't want to eat breakfast because I was upset but I made myself eat anyway because I know that eating can help me stabilize my mood and even though my emotions might still be down, I wouldn't have to feel it in the full intensity because I don't have this biological hunger making my mood worse. 

Also with the Cheerios, I found out that this cereal has a lot of the things I mentioned being deficient in. It has a good amount of carbs, calcium, and iron so that about covers everything except the protein. It is also gluten free so that's good. Eating this can also increase my amount of calories as well (by a reasonable amount- 1 bowl has 150 calories). This might sound weird but I'm thinking of eating it like I would a vitamin/supplement on a daily basis so that I can plug in the stuff that is usually lacking in my diet. I want to stay away from supplements and try to get as much nutrition I can get with my food and because often times supplements have more of a nutrient that is needed in a daily value. I remember when I was taking iron supplements, each pill had 350% of my recommended daily amount of iron. This is tmi but it also really messed with my bowl movements and that side effect simply did not go away. I decided to get off the iron supplements because I felt that it was doing more harm than good. Plus, my iron deficiency is slight to where I don't get any symptoms of it. It probably was low because I got my blood drawn while I was on my period and that can mess with test results. But the Cheerios on the other hand has 70% instead of 350% of my daily need for iron and it also has fiber along with other nutrients that I need. Because of that, I think this would be a better option for me. 

Screenshot (93).pngScreenshot (94).png

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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1/21/2021 Food Diary 

Breakfast: 

Spinach and banana smoothie: Has spinach, banana, peanut butter, and unsweetened vanilla almond milk. This filled me up quite a bit to where I almost forgot about lunch 

Lunch: 

Vegetable soup: It's the same one from last night. I just had some left over. 

A bowl of cheerios with some almond milk: To get the iron and the carbs in. 

Snack: 

A small bag of sea salt and vinegar chips: I haven't had these in a while. I was out grocery shopping and I saw a small bag of chips and thought why not. 

Dinner: 

Miso Soup: Used this miso broth I found in the supermarket. I made sure to look at the ingredients and the ingredients were things that I could recognize so that's good (gonna be honest I'm too lazy to get the broth and type everything out in this journal). I also used some miso paste, added bok choy, seaweed, green onions, tofu, and mushrooms. This was my first time making and having miso soup and I can honestly say that I can see myself eating this more often. I would have done this sooner but my mom was freaking out about soy before and it was hard to get it past her lol. 

Kale Salad: Has kale, and avocado, an egg, bell peppers, tomatoes, green onion, olives, tahini, basil, and balsamic vinegar.

Snack: 

A handful of blueberries: I wanted something sweet and I instantly thought of eating blueberries. 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Understanding Weight Loss 

My initial understanding of weight loss was that if you cut out or reduce all carbs, all sugar, all fat, and all oils from your diet and go on a calorie deficit that you are bound to lose weight. However, as I'm learning more and more about food as a whole and many of the misconceptions that circulate around, I'm getting this impression that getting to a healthy weight is more complicated than this. From what I understand, if someone wants to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way, that person needs to evaluate what kind of habits they have and find the reason to their weight gain or lack of weight loss instead of going on some type of one size fits all diet. 

For a lot of people who struggle with weight loss, an excess of carbs, sugar, fat, and oils from greasy foods and sugary snacks is the culprit. But for some people, that isn't the case, it's something different. For example, lets say someone (person x) is going around telling how they lost weight by only cutting out soda from their diet. This person was drinking a soda with lunch and dinner pretty much everyday. Lets say another person (person y) hears that advice and wants to implement it but they don't normally drink soda on a regular basis. Person y might only be drinking one soda every couple of weeks. For person y, the remedy of losing weight from simply cutting soda probably won't work for them because that isn't the thing that is causing their weight gain nor is it the unhealthy habit that is messing with their health. Person y might have a different habit they need to tackle or they might have a different issue causing their weight gain that requires a different forms of action. Telling person y that soda is the devil and needs to be avoided at all cost won't be sufficient in getting results because for person y, soda was never the problem. 

Not only can one size fits all diets or dieting tips be a waste of time because everyone has different bodies, habits, and situations, but it can also be dangerous for some. For instance, lets say you tell someone that they need to go into a large caloric deficit to lose weight. That can work for a lot of people but for those who have issues with a slowed metabolism because of a past of restrictive dieting, eating at even more of a deficit can wreck their metabolism even more. A lot of people who diet a lot or for a long time can suffer from metabolic adaptation where after a period of restrictive eating, the body goes into starvation mode and tries to function in a way where it can sustain itself with fewer calories, therefore slowing down the person's metabolism. That's why a lot of people gain back weight and then some more after they lose weight from restrictive dieting. Their metabolism slows down therefore when they go to eat like a normal person again, the body stores a ton of weight because it thought it was starving before. Gaining weight like this isn't a lack of will power or discipline, it is a part of a person's biological survival mechanism that helps them from not starving. Also a lot of people who finish a restrictive diet find that to maintain their body, they need to eat less than what they were eating before. Their metabolism gets slower and slower until eventually those people find themselves obsessing over calories and barely eating anything. In some cases, this can be a recipe for an eating disorder. 

If I were to tell anyone anything, I would recommend them to see weight loss or gain as a symptom rather than the actual issue. Instead the actual issue should be geared around lifestyle change, changing, habits, and treating whatever health issue is causing the weight gain. For me personally, I was eating pretty healthy before but it was still wrecking havoc on my body because I had undiagnosed PCOS. To treat my PCOS I had to cut out gluten and dairy which did help my symptoms and did help me lose some weight because the gluten and dairy were screwing with my hormones that was already being screwed by my PCOS. While I was eating healthy, I did have some whole grain bread and some yogurt in my diet. That isn't bad for most people, but for someone who is apparently not dealing with gluten and dairy well, it can be a problem. But to people who don't have hormonal issues or PCOS, cutting out gluten and dairy probably won't have the same effect or do anything. I've also read other people's story with PCOS and how they tried to go on restrictive diets to deal with the weight gain they had and it got worse because when someone has PCOS and they go on restrictive diets, the body interprets that as a stressor which then makes the hormones go out of wack even more therefore causing more weight gain. 

Yes, for someone consuming too many carbs, too many oils, too many x, y, or z, reducing intake of those things can be beneficial. But for someone who isn't consuming too many of those things, cutting them can be redundant and time wasting or detrimental. I tried to cut carbs before only to realize I wasn't having enough in the first place and cutting them more led to me getting a lot of headaches and nausea. I would also add that when you get recommended to do something and it isn't working for you, it can be discouraging. If you followed my journal you know that I have had issues with not getting enough calories and in general I don't eat unhealthy fats, I don't have that many carbs, I normally eat things low in sugar etc. But every time I go to my primary care physician, whenever she sees that I'm 150 lbs, her immediate answer is to stop eating so much and count calories. I remember once I told her that I do that and that whenever I go to a restaurant that I look for foods that are around 500 calories and even then I make sure to not finish my food. She replied with "oh, you're painting such a rosy picture, if that were the case you wouldn't be classified as overweight." (this was also before my PCOS diagnosis so I had no idea that my hormones were behind this) And I remember in that moment that I felt like I was being gaslighted. I felt like I was going crazy and I was trying to think of different ways of restricting food whether that meant skipping breakfast, eating one meal a day, doing a juice cleanse, etc. That isn't a healthy mindset towards food or weight loss. If anything, any of those things would probably aggravate my case more, feed into my neurosis, and leave me feeling hungry and deprived of nutrients that I need. 

Hell, for some people, cutting out foods isn't even the answer. One example I can think of is that when someone craves a lot of processed sugars, it's because they aren't getting enough protein, fats, or fiber from their diet. Because the energy they get from processed sugars in being used up quickly judging by how fast their blood sugar spikes up, they are left feeling hungry and tired sooner causing them to crave more sugar to get out of the sugar crash. By incorporating more protein, healthy fats, and fiber, that sugar spike can be slowed down for longer and more sustained energy. Often times I hear about people who feel that they are addicted to sugar and that they constantly crave it, but simply cutting sugar might not be the answer for some. Going cold turkey on something like sugar without addressing what is causing the cravings in the first place isn't sustainable in the long run and people are more likely to revert back to their old habits soon. Instead, it's important to address why you are craving a certain food and solve that issue so that instead of constantly having to control cravings, you won't even have to deal with the cravings in the first place. Why spend time and energy controlling cravings and beat yourself up for a supposed lack of discipline when you inevitably give in when you can eliminate the cravings and not have to deal with them again. 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that weight loss and creating a diet that works for you needs to be treated as a very individualized thing. What might for someone might not work for you. It's great to get ideas and some type of starting point, but ultimately, people need to listen to their bodies, blood work, doctors, mental health needs, and physical sensations and use that as a guide instead of using someone else's diet as an end all be all. 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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Thought this was informative. I liked the whole thing of how you can't just analyze one nutrient or one component but you need to see how they all work together. The only thing I didn't really like was how at the end this guy started saying something along the lines of how people have health issues because of too many proteins and fats in their diets (it's a vegan channel) without talking about any of the nuances between different sources of proteins and fats which seemed a little ironic considering on what he said about fruit and carbs. He had me until the very end lol. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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I thought this video is interesting because not only does it touch on how one nutrient or component in a food doesn't tell the whole story rather you need to look at different compounds and how they work together instead, but it also talks about issues with modeling, using mice for experiments, the short comings of meta analysis, and why in nutritional sciences do some studies contradict one another. 

Going through this whole trial and error process with my PCOS and also looking at my own eating habits to find what is best for me is really giving me new appreciation for the complexity of a person's diet. The foods we eat can seem pretty mundane since we eat everyday and it isn't something that has that novelty factor that really drives our interest, but there is a lot that goes into it even if we don't recognize it in the rush of our every day lives. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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