Improving the relationship between my parents

[StarStruck]

My mother is very toxic for the whole family. I'm clearly seeing her traumas back in myself and the more I heal myself the more I want to do something about my mother who is ruining my dad's life.

She is a childish 50 year old woman. If you saw her on the street you would think she is a mature 50 year old woman but within relationships she acts like a 13 year old brad. She is stuck in the past and always brings old stuff up, although we told her she should let go of the past because it poisons the family. Friends is something she doesn't have. People avoid her because she is very egocentric: always talks about her self and she becomes vindictive very fast.

My father's career got ruined because of her. She would always call her to complain about being a house wife and about the kids. She was also very violent and emotionally distant to everybody really. It is all in the past and we can't change the past but I'm seeing that she is just continuing her behaviour (like calling him on his work to complain about being a house wife or starting fights about nothing at home). It really hurts my dad. Divorce is not really an option. My mother can't take care of herself financially.

They are going to therapy I believe. It doesn't work. My mother is just stubborn. I tried to talk to her about her past but she doesn't really want to talk about it. At this moment I'm focusing on myself and I have a lot of work to do to fix my own problems. When I'm "fixed" I think I can help them too but considering my situation my healing will take multiple years.

Edited October 9, 2020 by StarStruck