Parts Work session: Integrating the want to be comfortable at all times

[Loving Radiance]

I just had a Parts Work session with a friend concerning a disconnect between the part of moving in the direction of "I want that" & the part of "I want to feel comfortable".

 

In the past I felt like crying; I wanted to expand myself & go after what I want but then contracted myself & disengaged to be in my familiar comfort zone. I cried because of the difference in love I felt (expanded-contracted). I was more identified with the expanded part while the contracted part held me back. It felt like I was being torn apart, like my chest area was pulled on from two opposing forces... just frustrating.

In becoming the comfort-part of myself, I felt like being pushed out of my comfort zone by the want-part. Like, comfort gets left behind by want because comfort drags want down. Want wants to be free and radiate love. There seemed to be resentment and disdain in want towards comfort for being held back for years. It felt to be irreconcilable for comfort & want to have both their needs met. For comfort there was no way for want to go after anything and comfort being in safety & comfort at the same time. Comfort suggested want to make baby steps towards what want wants.

In visiting Loving Radiance who was more identified with want, it became clear that want thought it has to let go of comfort in order to go in the direction of inspiration.

When asked, comfort was ok & just fine with both having their needs met. Then it magically occurred for comfort that it wasn't needed for it to be let go of at all. There wasn't a feeling of having to be let go of to have want's way. Before it felt like there had to be a disconnect; it wasn't necessary at all.

 

Now it all became full circle: Want believed the thought of having to let go & never considered to take comfort with it. In choosing the good feeling thought, want can take comfort wherever it wants to. As long as Loving Radiance is in a grounded state of being comfortable & safe, the whole world is open for exploration. Loving Radiance chose to suffer & disconnect himself from himself by choosing the not-good feeling thought automatically.

In realizing the whole game, Loving Radiance recognized the difference in feeling & thinking & speaking. Speaking about the feeling to his friend couldn't encompass the extent & depth of feeling. Totally otherworldly levels which, if translated to another, are not at all that what is translated... lost in translation (btw, it's a good movie ).

Loving Radiance also realized the truth in "it is already here" & "THIS is it". There is nothing outside of reach. The universe is so loving, so eternally giving, it is here. Where else could it be.

 

TL;DR Insights

• Feeling is another language than speaking
  • Maybe downloaded trip insights can be on a kind of feeling level? That's why it's downloaded and not spoken
• It's so important to be grounded in one's presence anywhere at all times
  • Being with oneself includes letting thoughts of "having to let comfort behind" pass & includes choosing the better feeling thought
• Meditation is being with myself
  • Being grounded is like being in meditative state
  • Always being in comfort is being in meditative state 24/7
• It's already right here:
  • The choosing to belief the automatic thought of "having to let comfort behind to move forward to what I want"
    • causes me suffering
    • disconnects me from myself

 

Edit: She also commented on how well I can describe my feelings & inner workings in language & that this inspires her a lot. My other friends also noted that when we had deep talks... I know that my journaling got me there. I may begin to journal here in the forum for other people to get inspired by & to just feel good; let's see.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Loving Radiance
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