My wife altered my ego!

[Armand]

Lately I've noticed how my past is not as important and I'm starting to only live in the now. Before my wife, I would reminisce very often, thinking of past people I knew and how I "loved" them. My soul has never felt so connected to anyone. When we first met she told me I scared her because everything I told her came across as if "God" had made me for spying on her every move since childhood. I didn't say it but a lot of what she said to me sounded like she had been watching me in my house for years before we met. Past relationships hindered me from being completely myself and those people often tried to project their issues at me and pick at my massive shadow daily. It was exhausting trying to fit perfectly into a box that was never going to be me. There was never any moment of peace. I've discovered the true peace that comes with living each and every day with a person who accepts all the darkest corners and even smiles at them? She told me "I love all that's happened in your life, because without that you wouldn't be the you I know and love." She oftentimes will also say without me nobody would of ever gotten to see the rawest form of her soul. Never in my entire life had I known this feeling. At first my ego said "You're not worthy of this seemingly perfect individual", or "She's far more educated, physically attractive, and can get better." Now she's boosted my self esteem to the point I see myself on par with her in many aspects. 

I hope others know that if you ever feel you have to compromise a huge part of yourself to "not be alone" avoid doing that. Lonlieness is only in your mind and you can rid yourself from it by yourself or find someone who understands you and wants you to pursue what's best for you! Not them!

Edited June 24, 2020 by Armand

[Preety_India]

Great post. 

This thing happened to me when I was with my second ex. 

I wanted to be with his abusive self just so that I didn't end up alone. In the end I had the same realization that "if you ever feel you have to compromise a huge part of yourself to "not be alone" avoid doing that. " that's when I broke up.