Creating Reality vs Flowing with Life/Surrender

[OmniYoga]

how those two conepts merge into one ? 
looks like two totally opposite perspective on life - very confusing for me 

on one hand we have typical self-help paradigm - you are not a victim of circumstances, take responsibility develop yourself and create your own bubble of reality,

which goes even deeper with how much we just project things with our minds on to reality,

and even deeper Leo said that we created our bodies, parents etc I guess everything in our life - but that's beyond my level of understanding
it's that unfair for some ppl? with some real shit in their lives, abusive parents, being raped etc why would they do that to themself ? 

on the other hand we have the idea of surrender and just flowing with life - no goals, I guess it comes from Taoizm
often the metaphor with a river is used to describe it, going with a stream of life, not paddle against it,
I can't say anymore cuz it's just what I've read - but I guess most people are familiar with what I mean