how to keep motivation up in university while having adhd

[TheSomeBody]

i thought that i was set when i started university, i got my shit together and i had lots of techniques for dealing with adhd. i also thought that it would be really easy because when i read stuff that i like i can pretty much do it non stop and i learn subjects that i really like (even reading a book or watch non stop leos vids). 
than the exams started and i understood that i really did nothing in this year and the subjects are not always instresting so it is really hard for me to learn them ( if i studied statistics i could focus like 2.5 hours and then i was tired all day long) . also i was really scattered in the exams and wrote wrong stuff when i meant other things.

the thing is that i really cant makes mayself have this internal motivetion for uni like the stuff that i learn solo,i am doing a degree that is relevant for my career, i have done research about those stuff even when i was a child ( i learn psycology and philosophy) but i cant really have this internal motivation, this glance in my eyes for learning. like i cant do the emotional understanding . i can get myself inspired for a subject even when i hate it just because i want to understand another thing but i cant do the "jump" when i cant see the infomational connection( for example when i wanted to have an electric wheel i have done tons of research online , like a month of research non stop even thou i dont really like to read this info and get all of the details, i just wanted some wheel ).when i tell myself that i really want this degree and really want to succeed i just starts to think and read about techniques for learning better instead of having focus.

i kind of having a solution but the solution pretty depressing. started to use ritalin , it really helps but at the end of the day i am feeling emptiness because i can learn for long hours but i dont have any emotional motivation, i cant do the "jump" that i talked about. and also i prefer not using this meds because they are pretty bad long term. luckly i am doing fine with a low dose.

how can i do this jump and feel good emotionaly from doing it?

[Ninjokris]

Seeing the content that has already been released, we accept that it is a detail that is readable, easy to understand and not difficult to learn.

 

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Edited April 20, 2020 by Ninjokris

[Nahm]

What about ‘dealing’ more directly with what’s going on in thought & feeling, rather than focusing on balancing the symptoms & label? I’m speaking from bias here by the way. Had I not done that very inspection and just abided in the label of “manic depressive”, I’d be “manic depressive” to his vary day. Sometimes doctors label things they don’t know about themselves, as if something were wrong with people. I’m not a dr obviously, so take this with a pound of salt. ??

Often we judge thinking as “negative thinking”, but it’s the feeling that doesn’t feel good. There’s usually a change then to positive psychology, motivation, and perhaps diagnosis & pills, usually helpful. Then that doesn’t ultimately satisfy, and so we begin letting thought attachment go and discovering truth, which is to say, listening to the feeling like we should have in the first place.

Meditation is the medi-way, the middle way, “between you and source”. It’s hard to believe, so don’t bother - but no pill, person, thinking or activity can supplement the flow of source. Connecting, ‘tapping into’ source, is unthinkably orders of magnitude more intrinsically efficient & transcendent yet inclusive of psychology and physiology, and is the very source of everything you are wanting; clarity, focus, power, happiness, joy, love, desire, etc. Give up stories in meditation. 

Or don’t, honestly. It’s all the same at the end of the day. Do what most feels aligned for you. ??

[TheSomeBody]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

What about ‘dealing’ more directly with what’s going on in thought & feeling, rather than focusing on balancing the symptoms & label? I’m speaking from bias here by the way. Had I not done that very inspection and just abided in the label of “manic depressive”, I’d be “manic depressive” to his vary day. Sometimes doctors label things they don’t know about themselves, as if something were wrong with people. I’m not a dr obviously, so take this with a pound of salt. ??

Often we judge thinking as “negative thinking”, but it’s the feeling that doesn’t feel good. There’s usually a change then to positive psychology, motivation, and perhaps diagnosis & pills, usually helpful. Then that doesn’t ultimately satisfy, and so we begin letting thought attachment go and discovering truth, which is to say, listening to the feeling like we should have in the first place.

Meditation is the medi-way, the middle way, “between you and source”. It’s hard to believe, so don’t bother - but no pill, person, thinking or activity can supplement the flow of source. Connecting, ‘tapping into’ source, is unthinkably orders of magnitude more intrinsically efficient & transcendent yet inclusive of psychology and physiology, and is the very source of everything you are wanting; clarity, focus, power, happiness, joy, love, desire, etc. Give up stories in meditation. 

Or don’t, honestly. It’s all the same at the end of the day. Do what most feels aligned for you. ??

doing meditation for 2 years....

i just dont enjoy it , like realy dont enjoy . so much of that it makes me allitle bit depress..

i having adhd since i was a child but in life you mostly explore so i had no issuses (expet high school but it was really easy and some of it was fun ,  maybe i would have been depressed from this if i havent took ssri in those times).
 
i really need this creativity and researching spirit in my life and university pretty much takes it away from me

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, TheSomeBody said:

i really need this creativity and researching spirit in my life and university pretty much takes it away from me

How would you imagine life to be, without that belief?

[TheSomeBody]

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

How would you imagine life to be, without that belief?

super boring

[Nahm]

@TheSomeBody

If you no longer believed university is “taking it away from you”...the result would be “boring”? 

I would think it would be liberating of mind, body & feeling. 

Perhaps you are on a path influenced by what you think other people think, and realizing more of what you want for yourself. 

[TheSomeBody]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

@TheSomeBody

If you no longer believed university is “taking it away from you”...the result would be “boring”? 

I would think it would be liberating of mind, body & feeling. 

Perhaps you are on a path influenced by what you think other people think, and realizing more of what you want for yourself. 

why i am on a path influenced by what you think other people think?

i want to be a researcher and influence science

[Nahm]

@TheSomeBody

3 hours ago, TheSomeBody said:

why i am on a path influenced by what you think other people think?

That’s not really what I meant. It seems you only struggle with focusing on what doesn’t feel good to you, what you don’t enjoy. There are two considerations that come to mind. One is there is “something wrong with you”, and that explains it, done. I favor the second, which is that there never was anything wrong with you, and it’s actually how you’re looking at it, and misunderstanding the feeling, thought & focus as such. That one must take classes more or less having nothing to do with the degree one is pursing is a sign of the times, and imo, archaic. It does however, make a few people a lot of money. So I would at least consider the possibility, that your spirituality only appears to suffer in the believing of that perspective - which does not jive with feeling (it doesn’t feel good, and effects focus as such). To me, you are, spiritually speaking, intuitively well ahead of your time, which in and of itself could be profoundly inspiring - if you didn’t hold beliefs which do not resonate with your being. 

Meditation, likewise, it amazing for taking time to yourself to relax, detach from thoughts, and allow the body to empty. In misunderstanding, one often “doesn’t like meditation”. Often, the body is letting go of the misunderstanding, but the mind uses beliefs (of the very misunderstanding; “something is wrong with me”) to prevent the body from releasing misunderstanding. When it does however, when the mind acquiesces to the body, well, desire & focus abound. 

I’d look for opportunities for the mind (choice) to get on board with the nature of the body (well being). Simple changes go a very long way in terms of inner alignment. Something as simple as choosing fluoride free toothpaste, aluminum free deodorant, or cutting granulated sugar from the diet, etc, could be life changing. 

And if you haven’t, for God sakes, make a dream board.