Overly Anxious

[Teags]

13 hours ago, Mal said:

@Teags

Hi,

I'm happy to facillitate you via the messaging system here until you get the hang of it. 

If that is an option for you.

If not I will try to get hold of some mp3s. I think I've still got a week's long seminar stashed away on an old laptop from when I was a member of his website.

Mal

@Mal that's very kind of you, I will pm you . Also if you its not too much hassle I wouldn't mind the mp3s as well but If it is a pain to find them then don't worry about it. 

[Teags]

4 hours ago, Richard Alpert said:

I didnt read the other comments.  I dont know exatcly what is the difference between panic attack and anxiety attack, but i label the attacks i have had as anxiety attack.

Cognitive behavior therapy is designed for this stuff, i think the main teaching there is putting yourself in those situation constantly where you are uncomfortable and might experience the attacks. it´s very simple, practice makes you better as they say. what you resist, persist.

My mom have experienced panic attacks and she avoids certain situations till the end (arenas where a lot of people). She has no idea what is the psychology behind the attacks and how to work with this. I could do the same, but instead i put myself in those situations on daily basis where i could possible have an attack.

I was shy as fuck before i started my current job (6 years ago) and after about 1200 client meetings i still get a little nervous before meeting a customer.

the words and lines people are telling here wont help you because it isnt anyway similar as talking to people face to face. You dont learn soccer by playing ice-hockey.

If you use any stimulants like coffee or nicotine, try to cut them. at least for me, they tricker anxiety.

But all the best to you, there is nothing you need to worry or fear. It´s the thoughts that trigger certain emotions / body reactions, but can thoughts really hurt you? And you can get through university without being super social, it is not a quality that is needed.

@Richard Alpert thank you for your reply.  It seems, as some others have pointed out, that the main thing to do here is embrace it, get comfortable with myself and put myself in these situations until I no longer have an issue. Easier said than done but after hearing from other members on this forum I think I have some great tools now to get on with it! As for "can thoughts really hurt me" that is a very good question! Thank you for bringing that up. They are just "thoughts", I think some more meditation might help with disidentifying with them. I have upped my meditation from 20 minutes a day to 30-60minutes a day and I am already feeling the benefits. And it's a relief to know that being super social is not a quality needed for university, I guess I just worry about presentations and group discussions  

[Mal]

@Teags

OK,

However I recommend you find a facilitator in this method so they can take you forward with it in the future. 

Mal

[Richard Alpert]

17 hours ago, Teags said:

@Richard Alpert thank you for your reply.  It seems, as some others have pointed out, that the main thing to do here is embrace it, get comfortable with myself and put myself in these situations until I no longer have an issue. Easier said than done but after hearing from other members on this forum I think I have some great tools now to get on with it! As for "can thoughts really hurt me" that is a very good question! Thank you for bringing that up. They are just "thoughts", I think some more meditation might help with disidentifying with them. I have upped my meditation from 20 minutes a day to 30-60minutes a day and I am already feeling the benefits. And it's a relief to know that being super social is not a quality needed for university, I guess I just worry about presentations and group discussions  

I could add up one thing, since i am very very familiar/experienced in this subject. I think we are most of the time more afraid of the emotions and feelings than the fear itself. I still struggle with anxiety, negative thought patterns etc., fear. The fear itself has always basically been proven to be illusion in my life, although i still feel fear quite often. Basically every time i have faced some big fear, i have thought afterwards, why the fuck i was afraid of this.

Edited June 23, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Teags]

6 hours ago, Richard Alpert said:

I could add up one thing, since i am very very familiar/experienced in this subject. I think we are most of the time more afraid of the emotions and feelings than the fear itself. I still struggle with anxiety, negative thought patterns etc., fear. The fear itself has always basically been proven to be illusion in my life, although i still feel fear quite often. Basically every time i have faced some big fear, i have thought afterwards, why the fuck i was afraid of this.

@Richard Alpert that's a good point, now that you mention it, it is the emotions, feelings in my body and negative thoughts that I'm afraid of. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this or do you suggest to just face it and tough it out? At this point I'm pretty much scared of life and determined to overcome this! 

[charlie2dogs]

58 minutes ago, Teags said:

@Richard Alpert that's a good point, now that you mention it, it is the emotions, feelings in my body and negative thoughts that I'm afraid of. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this or do you suggest to just face it and tough it out? At this point I'm pretty much scared of life and determined to overcome this! 

 

58 minutes ago, Teags said:

@Richard Alpert that's a good point, now that you mention it, it is the emotions, feelings in my body and negative thoughts that I'm afraid of. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this or do you suggest to just face it and tough it out? At this point I'm pretty much scared of life and determined to overcome this! 

if you are going to meditate, see yourself in this meditation, and see yourself as you want to be, create it in detail, create a desire for it , and do this for a little while, there are two conditions to having most anything, being able to hold it in the minds eye, and maintain a desire for it, consciousness will do the rest.

 

the more intense the desire the faster it happens

Edited June 24, 2016 by charlie2dogs

[Teags]

1 hour ago, charlie2dogs said:

 

if you are going to meditate, see yourself in this meditation, and see yourself as you want to be, create it in detail, create a desire for it , and do this for a little while, there are two conditions to having most anything, being able to hold it in the minds eye, and maintain a desire for it, consciousness will do the rest.

 

the more intense the desire the faster it happens

@charlie2dogs awesome! Thanks for that tip, I will begin that right away. How long should I do it for, 5-10 mins a day? Or longer? Do you have any experience in positive affirmations? Would you recommend doing affirmations, such as "I am confident and calm in social situations" as well as the visualisation  in my meditation. I recently was doing affirmations for a couple of weeks but then lost faith in them.

im excited to see if this works! Thanks again   

Edited June 24, 2016 by Teags

[charlie2dogs]

10 hours ago, Teags said:

@charlie2dogs awesome! Thanks for that tip, I will begin that right away. How long should I do it for, 5-10 mins a day? Or longer? Do you have any experience in positive affirmations? Would you recommend doing affirmations, such as "I am confident and calm in social situations" as well as the visualisation  in my meditation. I recently was doing affirmations for a couple of weeks but then lost faith in them.

im excited to see if this works! Thanks again   

i normally don't tell people to use affirmations but i think it would help you, and do it as often as you can, it don't have to be for long periods, just try to create an intense desire and make the mental picture as real and in detail as you can, these will have an affect.

[charlie2dogs]

20 hours ago, Teags said:

@charlie2dogs awesome! Thanks for that tip, I will begin that right away. How long should I do it for, 5-10 mins a day? Or longer? Do you have any experience in positive affirmations? Would you recommend doing affirmations, such as "I am confident and calm in social situations" as well as the visualisation  in my meditation. I recently was doing affirmations for a couple of weeks but then lost faith in them.

im excited to see if this works! Thanks again   

it will work if you do it and stay with it, i have proven it many times in my life, even with money

[Teags]

@charlie2dogs keen to give it a go  

[Richard Alpert]

On ‎24‎.‎6‎.‎2016 at 3:44 AM, Teags said:

@Richard Alpert that's a good point, now that you mention it, it is the emotions, feelings in my body and negative thoughts that I'm afraid of. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this or do you suggest to just face it and tough it out? At this point I'm pretty much scared of life and determined to overcome this! 

its is easier said than done but:

- do something you fear everyday. it doesnt have to be anything too crazy, but something that gets you out of youre comfort zone.

- if the unnecessary feelings come, let them come but dont get too involved with them. Dont fight them, that creates anxiety. You are probably familiar with the witness or spectator meditation term. Feelings come and go if you just BE and let the feelings come and go. Im introverted and very rational person and my internal dialogue is pretty hard, but i learned to deal with it and face the emotions.

- focus less on yourself. You probably take things very seriously and think yourself as the most important thing in the world. I mean you are but you are not too. Try to find something bigger than yourself, like serving other people or something that takes the focus out of youself

- meditate, but dont do it as escapism. i would actually recommend on weekends that meditate for example four hours a day and cut all external stimule. I recently did this and felt really good.

-realise that youre problem is internal and you can fix it. It´s not external.

-honesty. thruth will set you free. read radical honesty by brad blanton (not sure of his last name)

 

 

[Teags]

@Richard Alpert awesome thanks so much for all the tips and good advice. I kinda do use meditation as an escapism, when I meditate it's very calming. Wow 4 hours, my maximum is an hour and a half in one day but definitely looking forward to when I can manage 4 hours, I bet it is amazing. I'll keep in mind all of your advice, I've been using multiple techniques from people I've learnt from this forum and I ready am noticing an improvement (must be working ). 

[Ayla]

@Teags , you might find this useful:

[Teags]

@Ayla thank you  

[Richard Alpert]

On ‎1‎.‎7‎.‎2016 at 10:53 AM, Teags said:

@Richard Alpert awesome thanks so much for all the tips and good advice. I kinda do use meditation as an escapism, when I meditate it's very calming. Wow 4 hours, my maximum is an hour and a half in one day but definitely looking forward to when I can manage 4 hours, I bet it is amazing. I'll keep in mind all of your advice, I've been using multiple techniques from people I've learnt from this forum and I ready am noticing an improvement (must be working ). 

I just came back from a meditation retreat and Wow. I can highly recommend it, i will make a story about it to my recently started blog on here. check it out.

[Teags]

19 hours ago, Richard Alpert said:

I just came back from a meditation retreat and Wow. I can highly recommend it, i will make a story about it to my recently started blog on here. check it out.

@Richard Alpert can you post a link to it? I'm Not sure where to find it. 

[mystic]

There is a connection between social anxiety, shyness and probiotics.

Please google it, it may help you!

http://www.heysigmund.com/a-simple-way-to-reduce-social-anxiety/