On My Making Deals With God

[Rebecca Kalamata]

I was at the beach here in Kalamata, Greece the other day collecting sea glass and colorful pebbles. I do great thinking when I do this and invariably when I get a good idea I find an absolutely perfect piece of class or an extremely beautiful stone. I like to tell myself that it is God validating my thoughts.

Concurrently I absolutely understand that WHATEVER appears in my life at any given moment I AM responsible for. And there is no GOD as in HE. (not even SHE Lol)

This gets a little kinky cause I refrain from saying, "I believe…" like in I believe in God or I believe in reincarnation. It cracks me up how people love to go all philosophical and try to convince each other that what they believe is the way it is. Then they judge themselves and others according to these beliefs. Just because someone believes something doesn't mean that's the way it is.

Or is it? For them. Literally. For real. Like if I don't like my circumstances I can change my thinking about my circumstances and my circumstances will change. If I change my beliefs

I change my life. The implications of this are astounding. And therein lies my mission. Well one of my missions.

Remember that I said that I am codependent to the world? That's only a minor exaggeration.

So here's another little story. This one is present time, the day before yesterday in fact when I was at the beach collecting.

On Monday I spoke to my brother G's wife, N. They and their 2 kids live in my house in California. Life is extremely difficult for them and I was plunged into sadness, concern, and stress at the magnitude of the problems. So I'm focused, focused, focused and then I got an idea. And then I started with one of my conversations with God. I know darn well that I am not hearing God's voice in my head. You will be one of the first to know if I ever do I promise. It's just me talking to myself in my mind but bear with me as I give God a voice.

So I'm saying, "Ah come on God. Not that. I don't want to do that. This isn't fair. That's being codependent and I'm having enough trouble with that as you well know." So God says, "You promised back in 1980 that if I let you do it your way and kept you safe that you would be mine and not forsake me. Well, I kept my part of the bargain and I'm calling in my chips now." And then I find one of the most beautiful little stones imaginable. See Cousin, I am going to ask you to do something.

So I tell God that it is not fair to ask anything of you cause I don't even know you and I just dropped in out of the blue after a lifetime of barely even knowing that you are alive and for all I know I am now a pain in your brain cause I am reminding you of things that you have put behind you and am making demands on your time of which you have none of. So God says, "And so…?"

So I say, "Ok, if I can do 45 sit-ups I'll ask him." (I did 30 the other day after a lifetime of not exercising so 45 was gonna be hard but not impossible. I only push the miracle stuff so far.) God says, "It's a deal but you have to give it all you've got." So I did 45 sit-ups.