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Nivsch

Today I felt an upgrade in my awakening state

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Like one level up relative to my first experience last summer that was weaker and not as clear.

What happened today is that I tried again to accept the negative feeling I had (I am in a negative phase this month), because I know that acceptance is the right way.

So I tried to do the "Acceptance" on the current negative feeling I have.

After couple of minutes I finished a small purchase in the supermarket, came out, and then I realized - OH, but if to be sincere, all I just did right now (to accept the negative feeling) was in the aim of feeling better.

Which means, in a deeper level (?) I was resisting the feeling! I DID try to accept it, but it was from a desire to make the negative feeling go weaker and disappear. Even if there was acceptance its only a shallow version.

And then I realized - There is nothing I can do to "accept", becuase everything I will ever try to do to "accept", will be in the aim of feeling better. in other words - hidden resistance to the bad feeling.

When I realised it - I just released it. Ok. I Can't do nothing. I'll don't try nothing. In that moment I felt I have reached a new level of "releasing", and then the feeling became better!

The interesting thing is that I quite knew about that principle in the content level even before, but I couldn't benefit from it. Only today I felt I reached it in the stractural level and convinced my subconsious mind. Like see the exact berrier as a content or story, is SO different than actually meet it stracturally in real time and passing it.

 

Edited by Nivsch

🌻 Stage Yellow emerges when Green starts to have tolerance and respect to the variety of views within HIMSELF. Israelis here? Let me know!

 

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